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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old Nov 11th, 2004, 02:46 PM Thread Starter
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Your Life This Week

Aries: (March 21—April 19)
You're perfectly content curling up in your room with a good book, which is fortunate, considering how you'll be spending the next five to seven years for manslaughter.

Taurus: (April. 20—May 20)
You'll never be quite the same again after that Bible you've been thumping all these years finally has enough and beats the living shit out of you.

Gemini: (May 21—June 21)
The mousetrap you built is indeed better, but the bludgeoning part will prevent people from beating a path to your door.

Cancer: (June 22—July 22)
You'll be shunned when the man you famously taught to fish dies of mercury poisoning.

Leo: (July 23—Aug. 22)
Opening a free amusement park was a great idea, but people will be revolted by your idea of amusement.

Virgo: (Aug. 23—Sept. 22)
There are no words to express your complicated feelings toward that special someone, which is unfortunate, because she will fail to understand the hand gestures.

Libra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23)
People might praise the ineffable human qualities of your post-lyric poetry now, but after you're gone, all they'll talk about is your great parties.
Scorpio: (Oct. 24—Nov. 21)
You only get one chance to make a first impression—literally, in your case, as you'll only meet one more person for the rest of your life.

Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21)
Judging by that lightheaded, dreamy feeling, this would be a good week to finally start some new meals.

Capricorn: (Dec. 22—Jan. 19)
Years from now, when most of the old onomatopoeia have gone out of style, the unique sound of your bursting body will still be in daily use.

Aquarius: (Jan. 20—Feb. 18)
This week, you'll learn some important life lessons about sharing, admitting when you're wrong, and whether it's the volts or the amps that kill you.

Pisces: (Feb. 19—March 20)
Your feeling that the people you work with are dragging you down is borne out by the Norstar Telecommunications rope you'll find wrapped around your ankles.
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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old Nov 11th, 2004, 02:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassius
Cancer: (June 22—July 22)
You'll be shunned when the man you famously taught to fish dies of mercury poisoning.
Don't say that!!!!! Floyd and I were HUGE deep sea fishers and I taught the twins how to deep sea fish, too. I better call them and tell them to lay off fish this week!

Whitney Houston and her receipts:

http://www.tennisforum.com/showthrea...17447&page=324
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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old Nov 11th, 2004, 02:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassius
Aquarius: (Jan. 20—Feb. 18)
This week, you'll learn some important life lessons about sharing, admitting when you're wrong, and whether it's the volts or the amps that kill you.
Volts, amps.... hmmmm, I've already taken my chances with lightning. I'll sit this one out.
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old Nov 11th, 2004, 03:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassius
Aquarius: (Jan. 20—Feb. 18)
This week, you'll learn some important life lessons about sharing, admitting when you're wrong, and whether it's the volts or the amps that kill you.
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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old Nov 11th, 2004, 04:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassius
Leo: (July 23—Aug. 22)
Opening a free amusement park was a great idea, but people will be revolted by your idea of amusement.
how weird, i was thinking of opening up one this week....with lots of whips and chains involved.

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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old Nov 11th, 2004, 04:45 PM
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Scorpio: (Oct. 24—Nov. 21)
You only get one chance to make a first impression—literally, in your case, as you'll only meet one more person for the rest of your life.



So this is love, Mmmmmm
So this is love
So this is what makes life divine
I'm all aglow, Mmmmmm
And now I know
The key to all heaven is mine
My heart has wings, Mmmmmm
And I can fly
I'll touch every star in the sky
So this is the miracle that I've been dreaming of
Mmmmmm
Mmmmmm
So this is love


A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep, in dreams you lose your heartaches, whatever you wish for, you keep



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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old Nov 11th, 2004, 04:53 PM
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Quote:
Taurus: (April. 20—May 20)
You'll never be quite the same again after that Bible you've been thumping all these years finally has enough and beats the living shit out of you.
And what if I'm an athiest Taurean?

and where they produce desolation, they call it peace
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old Nov 11th, 2004, 05:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassius
Aries: (March 21—April 19)
You're perfectly content curling up in your room with a good book, which is fortunate, considering how you'll be spending the next five to seven years for manslaughter.
That's not very friendly! That's it, I'm just staying indoors all week and that way nothing bad will come!

VERA ZVONAREVA DANIELA HANTUCHOVA

JELENA JANKOVIC TATIANA GOLOVIN

ANA IVANOVIC FLAVIA PENNETTA

NICOLE VAIDISOVA MARIA SHARAPOVA
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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old Nov 11th, 2004, 05:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassius
Taurus: (April. 20—May 20)
You'll never be quite the same again after that Bible you've been thumping all these years finally has enough and beats the living shit out of you.
oh noooooooo too unfair, i 'm unlucky!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maria Sharapova
Krunic~~ Ivanovic ~~ Jovanovski ~~ Stojanovic~Jorovic
Putintseva~~Robson ~~Hingis~~ Svitolina ~~ Pavlyuchenkova~~ Rybarikova~~ Halep~~Pervak~~Kulichkova~~Kirilenko~~Mladenovic
Bencic~~Voegele~~Jankovic~~Zvonareva~~Karolina Pliskova ~~Krystina Pliskova
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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old Nov 11th, 2004, 11:28 PM
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Oh dear, manslaughter charges!
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post #11 of 12 (permalink) Old Nov 12th, 2004, 12:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by veryborednow
And what if I'm an athiest Taurean?
We're going to be punished for what the bible thumping ones did.
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post #12 of 12 (permalink) Old Nov 12th, 2004, 12:11 AM
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Whoops, gotta be careful of that Bible.
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