1 Will Young - 'Anything Is Possible/Evergreen'
Bland boy. Bland songs. Am still gonna shag him, though.
2 Shaggy and Ali G - 'Me Julie'
Ali G stopped being funny a LONG, LONG time ago and is now just stupid. Shaggy's NEVER been funny. And cod-reggae-lite farragos are always crap.
3 Shakira - 'Whenever, Wherever'
Absolutely insane, and we need more madness in pop. Don't we? *glares at Will Young and Shaggy*
4 J-Lo - 'Ain't It Funny'
Unbelievably shite. there *is* no reason why Jennifer Lopez should continue to exist, the talentless cow.
5 Nickelback - 'How You Remind Me'
Taste-free grunge-lite; record company-manufactured angst. Hallefuckinglujah.
6 Lasgo - 'Something'
Above-average club choon. Only slightly abover average though.
7 Celine Dion - 'A New Day Has Come'
AAAAARRRGHHHHH! I thought she'd taken a long break from music, please don't tell me it's over already! Get away from me!
8 Enrique Iglesias - 'Hero'
Burn in hell, Enrique.
9 Iron Maiden - 'Run To The Hills'
Run to the hills indeed, although it at least ROCKS, which you can't say for anything else in here.
10 Natalie Imbruglia - 'Wrong Impression'
Oh please. Stop trying to ape Alanis and Polly Jean with your lightweight folky mush, face up to the fact that you'll never produce anything as good as Torn. Ever. Again. And then go away.
This must be the most piss-poor top 10 in a long time. Thank fuck for Shakira.
Top 10 Albums
1 SILVER SIDE UP - NICKELBACK
See above. Oh, how these record companies spoil us
2 THE ESSENTIAL - BARBRA STREISAND
How much emoting can one woman do without betraying the slightest hint of passion?
3 LAUNDRY SERVICE - SHAKIRA
Madness. Still marvelling at the pan-pipe solo and the lyrics. Pan-pipes!
4 UNDER RUG SWEPT - ALANIS MORRISETTE
And the psychobabble just gets worse - and it sounds like she's smoothened out all the edges which made her even mildly diverting in the first place.
5 A FUNK ODYSSEY - JAMIROQUAI
at the Twat in the Hat. Listen to this and hear the sound of music dying a slow, painful death.
6 THE VERY BEST OF - STING & THE POLICE
Admittedly he's done some good stuff, but really. Stop buying it. It only encourages him to get his clothes off, and that's something we don't need.
7 WHO I AM - BEVERLEY KNIGHT
Oh dear God, a quality act. I wouldn't say she's anything to get excited about though, but far from rubbish.
8 SONGS IN A MINOR - ALICIA KEYS
And a REALLY quality act! *relief* A truly incredible voice - it's that wordless moan halfway through 'Fallin', gets me every time. And 'A Woman's Worth' is just a perfect, swoonsome slice of soul. Surely there's a catch? Yup, the bloody record company have re-released it with extra remixes to cash in on everything
9 FEVER - KYLIE MINOGUE
La la la, la la la la la....
10 NO ANGEL - DIDO
Bland bland bland bland bland bland bland. And even that sentence is more interesting than she is.