James Boyne: 'Welcome to the 21st century, Mr. Bush'
Posted on Friday, October 15 @ 09:57:44 EDT
A Satire of Sorts by James Boyne
If you are out of work here is all you need to do to find another good job---get in your car; drive over to your local community college (if you have one); walk into the admissions office; and tell them President Bush sent you and you are here to take Math and Science. Tell them you are here to prepare for the 21st century. This is George Bush's strategic plan to help the 9 million people that are counted as currently unemployed and the additional 11 million, uncounted, long term unemployed.
For now, forget the job-hunting process. Forget your resume. Forget preparing for interviews. Forget the employment classifieds. Forget about actually landing a job. If you lost your job you are obviously not prepared for the 21st century. The President said so.
You need to go back to Community College and take Math and Science. This is the 21st Century.
What? You are a Programmer. You are an Information Technology Specialist. You are a Computer Trainer. You're an Engineer, an Architectural Design Specialist, a Scientific Research Expert. You are a textile worker, a warehouse distributor, a machinist, an airline worker, a pilot, a telemarketer, an insurance company administrator, a Wall Street financial advisor, and executive assistant, a teacher. Fear not. Your local Community College is here to help.
What? You already have a college degree. You just graduated. Well, it must not be a 21st century degree.
What? You aren't good at Math or Science. You like to work with people. Too bad! President Bush says Math and Science are the key.
What? You are 50 years old; have a family and a mortgage and kids you were planning to send to college. You had a good job for the last 15 years before it was shipped overseas to India and you don't have time to go back to Community College and take Algebra and Earth Science. You just want a new job. Wake up! President Bush says you need to enter the 21st Century---at your local Community College.
Just think---at 30, or 40, or 50 years old---you can be counted as one of the "No Child Left Behind" children. It's never to late, and you are never too old to find out that you weren't left behind. Thank You Mr. President!
Here's the good news. President Bush has proposed spending $250 million for Community Colleges. That sounds like a lot of money doesn't it? It's not quite clear what the $250 million will be spent on---whether it is for paving the parking lots of the community colleges; buying new desks and blackboards; or paying for some nice new Math and Science books. Who knows. Let's just throw 'em some money---some bones to chew on. Let's smoke out the jobless and the unemployed. Let's go get 'em. They can run, but they can't hide. It's the right war at the right time---the war on the terror of being unemployed. It's Code Orange for the jobless.
$250 million for Community Colleges is not quite as much as the $200 BILLION that President Bush as spent for Iraq. It's not quite as much as the $350 BILLION in taxes that the President just gave back to Americans in a desperate attempt to garner votes. Its not quite as much as the $130 BILLION allocated as windfall profits for the pharmaceutical industry under the $550 BILLION sham called "Medicare Prescription Coverage". $250 million is 1/4 of a BILLION.
He spent 800 times more than that killing people in Iraq which is stuck in the 7th century. And the President only wants to spend 1/4 of a BILLION to have 9 million American workers enter the 21st century. Could he spare it?
Community Colleges are great. They are truly a benefit to any community. They provide a great means to advance oneself and to get a cost effective education. However, it is absurd for the President to have as the cornerstone of his jobs creation strategy the idea that Community Colleges are going to be the main thrust in helping 9 million currently unemployed and 11 million long term unemployed Americans get decent jobs. Whoever thought up this grand strategy should have their head examined. How unfair to lay this burden at the doorstep of Community Colleges. What a copout by the President.
The President sees no problem with waving good-bye to hundreds of thousands and even millions of jobs to the practice of outsourcing American jobs to India, China, East Asia, and Latin America. He claims is good for America. How bizarre.
Come November 2nd, Election Day, President Bush will in all likelihood find himself getting a "pink slip" by fed up American voters. My suggestion to him is to seek out his local Community College in Crawford, Texas and sign up for some Math and Science courses. Possibly he can learn a little about balancing a budget in a good Math class and a good Science class may teach him about the benefits of a clean environmental policy and some basic understanding about the benefits of stem cell research.
I am sure that the tens of thousands of Republican political appointees that will find themselves out of work after Election Day will find solace in the very jobs creation program---the Math and Science Community College Initiative--- that their illustrious leader has so ingeniously devised and generously funded with $ 1/4 Billion in small change.
I can't wait to see President Bush, Dick Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice, Ashcroft, Carl Rove, Wolfowitz, Karen Hughes, and the entire current gang of misfits sitting in a classroom struggling with Algebra 101 and Earth Science 102 so they can prepare themselves for their next job in the new century.
Yes, Mr. President, welcome to the 21st Century.
James Boyne is a financial advisor, computer trainer, sales executive and freelance writer. He has been a Republican up until this year having voted for all Republicans since Barry Goldwater (remember AuH2O) ran for President. He now sees Senator Kerry as the only hope of stopping the fiscal insanity being practice by the Bush administration; bringing an honorable end to the Iraqi quagmire that is sucking hundreds of billions of dollars out of our economy; controlling the spiraling, out-of-control, health care system; and Bush's wanton destruction of the central core of America's job base---both our manufacturing and service industries. What else will be left? If you are a Republican and are planning to vote for Senator Kerry, Mr. Boyne would like to hear your brief comments at the above email address about why you are ready to switch for 2004.