I'm going under, feeling depressed and empty. The end. - TennisForum.com
 
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post #1 of 15 (permalink) Old Oct 3rd, 2004, 01:50 PM Thread Starter
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I'm going under, feeling depressed and empty. The end.

I知 hurting myself again. I知 falling and when I fall I don稚 care enough to try to safe myself. On some level I want to destroy myself.

I知 slitting my wrists and hiding the scabs and scars from everyone. Why? I guess I知 just masochistic and sick. I致e gone through so much shit in my short life that I need something more than tears and a therapist. I知 nothing anymore, I feel so empty.

I知 afraid of myself because no one else in the world knows how to myself so deeply.
I hate myself and I want to die, this is so boring, nothing is new. I知 not eating, I知 starving myself and I知 starting to look really anorectic. Not that pretty actually. My skin is white and blue and my body ice cold I知 freezing. Sometimes I wonder if there痴 anything left in me.

I hate these cold, windy, dark days of October They make me look such a sentimental idiot . I mean, love wasn稚 like that few years ago it wasn稚 anger, sex or rejecting. It was just holding your breath, blushing, staring that someone in his eyes so that it made you want to faint, dreams, and I always believed that the boy I liked was perfect. Oh my God, I miss my old boyfriend though he痴 way shorter than me nowadays. And I think he痴 gay (I mean seriously, a guy who dances ballet? )

And my sister died last autumn. She was probably my best friend. The sweetest girl on the earth died, and I don稚 think I値l ever get over it. Her story is too meaningless, sad, bitter, anything.

And school really depresses me too. Last year, and always before, I used to be the best at everything, I was simply brilliant at maths, physics, writing I used to be like a genius. But I was stupid and ruined it, I went to the best high school you can find, and all the others are as intelligent as I. Now I知 pretty much an average student though all the other people at my school are really sweet and great. Okay, this is really not that depressing; I知 not just that special anymore

And I know that no one here cares. People don稚 really care about me (or anyone for that matter ), they don稚 like me until they get to know me Yeah, why am I writing? Maybe I just hope that someone here recognizes me. Cause I know that this one person here Maybe this is my diary. Wow I知 getting quite pathetic.

I love you all
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post #2 of 15 (permalink) Old Oct 3rd, 2004, 02:09 PM
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oh dear god.

unban him.

Women's tennis sucks.
~


Go Rafa.

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post #3 of 15 (permalink) Old Oct 3rd, 2004, 03:18 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by !<bloc_party>!
oh dear god.

unban him.
Her. Thank you.

Death must be a great adventure


Save the Earth! It's the only planet with chocolate.
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post #4 of 15 (permalink) Old Oct 3rd, 2004, 03:25 PM
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be quite rothes
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post #5 of 15 (permalink) Old Oct 3rd, 2004, 03:27 PM
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"誰も私を止める停が出来なかったか"
- Jinpachi Mishima
- Jedah Douma
"恐れてはいけない. 私は最初であり, 最後である"
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post #6 of 15 (permalink) Old Oct 3rd, 2004, 03:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by esqumaux



no esquilove, its

Lleyton - Broccoli-boy
Kim - The future number one(no jinxing!)
Nadal - making a rafalution

J'aime la Suede.
I Love Sweden
Svensker Elsker

Still a Lleyki
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post #7 of 15 (permalink) Old Oct 3rd, 2004, 04:32 PM Thread Starter
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This is just too depressing. No one is taking me seriously.

Quote:
Originally Posted by switz
be quite rothes
That I don't honestly understand


Death must be a great adventure


Save the Earth! It's the only planet with chocolate.
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post #8 of 15 (permalink) Old Oct 3rd, 2004, 04:33 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by esqumaux



What do you mean with that? That you want to burn and kill me twice and then give me a kiss? And THEN say bye bye? That's sounds just a little sick...


Death must be a great adventure


Save the Earth! It's the only planet with chocolate.
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post #9 of 15 (permalink) Old Oct 3rd, 2004, 05:11 PM
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No, no, it was anzela's signature

http://www.wtaworld.com/member.php?u=22293

R.I.P anzela

"誰も私を止める停が出来なかったか"
- Jinpachi Mishima
- Jedah Douma
"恐れてはいけない. 私は最初であり, 最後である"
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post #10 of 15 (permalink) Old Oct 3rd, 2004, 05:25 PM Thread Starter
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That's sad... Honestly I didn't know. I'm definitely not anzela, I can spell - sometimes.

Death must be a great adventure


Save the Earth! It's the only planet with chocolate.
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post #11 of 15 (permalink) Old Oct 3rd, 2004, 05:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by switz
be quite rothes
I had a dream about Rothes last week She wrote me a $300 check that I thought was bad, so I chased her to the bank and confronted her. It was good, so I cashed it in

"誰も私を止める停が出来なかったか"
- Jinpachi Mishima
- Jedah Douma
"恐れてはいけない. 私は最初であり, 最後である"
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post #12 of 15 (permalink) Old Oct 3rd, 2004, 07:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by esqumaux
No, no, it was anzela's signature

http://www.wtaworld.com/member.php?u=22293

R.I.P anzela
what happend to anzela?

Lleyton - Broccoli-boy
Kim - The future number one(no jinxing!)
Nadal - making a rafalution

J'aime la Suede.
I Love Sweden
Svensker Elsker

Still a Lleyki
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post #13 of 15 (permalink) Old Oct 3rd, 2004, 11:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aria Rose
what happend to anzela?
He was banned. Deaths.

fuck.
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post #14 of 15 (permalink) Old Oct 3rd, 2004, 11:51 PM
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I miss Aaron


rawr.
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post #15 of 15 (permalink) Old Oct 4th, 2004, 03:10 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PointBlank
He was banned. Deaths.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PointBlank
Umbane hm, led hm cum bak

"誰も私を止める停が出来なかったか"
- Jinpachi Mishima
- Jedah Douma
"恐れてはいけない. 私は最初であり, 最後である"
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