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post #1 of 22 (permalink) Old Sep 24th, 2004, 02:21 AM Thread Starter
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Blonde Jokes

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that...
  • She called me to get my phone number.
  • She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate".
  • She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
  • She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
  • She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
  • She tried to drown a fish.
  • She thought a quarterback was a refund.
  • She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
  • She tripped over a cordless phone.
  • She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
  • She asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
  • She studied for a blood test.
  • She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
  • When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
  • When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
  • when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home.


Inspiration is for amateurs


Faves: Mona Barthel / Samantha Stosur / Roberta Vinci
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post #2 of 22 (permalink) Old Sep 24th, 2004, 03:44 AM
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post #3 of 22 (permalink) Old Sep 24th, 2004, 04:23 AM
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Q. what's the difference between a blonde and a 747?

A. Not everyone's been inside a 747.

and just like a burning radio I'm on to you...
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post #4 of 22 (permalink) Old Sep 24th, 2004, 04:25 AM
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Quote:
She tripped over a cordless phone.
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post #5 of 22 (permalink) Old Sep 24th, 2004, 04:30 AM
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love the meow mix
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post #6 of 22 (permalink) Old Sep 24th, 2004, 05:06 AM
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I love Blonde Jokes.

Q: How can you tell a Blonde has just eaten?
A: The belt buckle mark is on her forehead.

Two blondes were walking through a forest, when they came across some tracks. The first blonde exclaimed ''I know what these are, they are Deer tracks.''
The second blonde responded: ''No, no, no. They are Moose tracks.''
As they stood there arguing on the tracks, they were hit by a train.

Q: How did the Blonde try to kill a Bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.
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post #7 of 22 (permalink) Old Sep 24th, 2004, 05:07 AM
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i didnt get the meow mix joke.

maybe its cuz i'm a blonde born brunette. i swear all that peroxide has gotten into my head!

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post #8 of 22 (permalink) Old Sep 24th, 2004, 05:13 AM
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Meow mix They should make a meow mix cd featuring the cats from the meow meow commercials

"誰も私を止める停が出来なかったか"
- Jinpachi Mishima
- Jedah Douma
"恐れてはいけない. 私は最初であり, 最後である"
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post #9 of 22 (permalink) Old Sep 24th, 2004, 05:16 AM
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Q: There are three third grade girls, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. Which one has the biggest tits?
A: The blonde - she's 18.

Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.

Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A: A dope ring.

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said from 2-4 years.

Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard?
A: Grade 4.
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post #10 of 22 (permalink) Old Sep 24th, 2004, 08:58 AM
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I am blonde but I am male so I am not really offended
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post #11 of 22 (permalink) Old Sep 24th, 2004, 09:55 AM
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In the world you are just 1 person, but to 1 person you are the world
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post #12 of 22 (permalink) Old Sep 24th, 2004, 10:43 AM
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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead show up for the same job interview. The brunette is the first one to go in, and after filling out the forms and going through the questions, the interviewer decides to ask her last question:

"How many D's are there in "INDIANA JONES""?

The brunette thinks for a second and responds "One".

The interviewer sends her back with a promise that he'll get back to her after he had interviewed the remaining candidates.



The redhead is next. The process goes about the same, and at the end: "How many D's are there in INDIANA JONES"?

She immediately says "One". The interviewer says, "OK, we'll let you know".



Then the blonde comes into the room, goes through the questions, and finally gets asked: "How many D's are there in INDIANA JONES".

She gets a very serious look on her face and starts counting her fingers, muttering: "2, 4, 6 ...., hmmm – wait,... 2, 4, 6 .... can I borrow your calculator please?"

After going through 15 minutes of intense calculating, she finally comes up with the answer: "Thirty two"

The interviewer is stunned and asks her: "Ok, now tell me, how the hell did you arrive at this answer?"

The blonde replied "Da da da daaaaaaaa da da da! da da da da du da da da da!"
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post #13 of 22 (permalink) Old Sep 24th, 2004, 11:16 AM
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blondes rule!! people are jealous of our beauty.
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post #14 of 22 (permalink) Old Sep 24th, 2004, 12:32 PM
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Quote:
When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead



Why was the blonde on the roof?

She heard there was free drinks on the house.

Women's tennis sucks.
~


Go Rafa.

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post #15 of 22 (permalink) Old Sep 24th, 2004, 12:43 PM
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gRaFiC
Q. what's the difference between a blonde and a 747?

A. Not everyone's been inside a 747.
i dont get this

"whoever said that money can't buy happiness, clearly didn't kno where to shop"
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