Hey, Joan, nice work. I don't care about crap TV awards, but I'll tell you how I'd vote. After all, I am an Academy member, so I vote on the Oscars every year, so I'm experienced in voting for awards!
Drama Series: "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation," CBS; "Joan of Arcadia," CBS; "The Sopranos," HBO; "24," Fox; "The West Wing," NBC.
The Sopranos sucked last season and I didn't even watch the last couple of ones. West Wing is dumb, haven't watched it in years. CSI is good, if I can keep them straight, I'm not sure which one I saw, but it was pretty good, the few I saw, so CSI gets my vote.
Comedy Series: "Arrested Development," Fox; "Curb Your Enthusiasm," HBO; "Everybody Loves Raymond," CBS; "Sex and the City," HBO; "Will & Grace," NBC.
Sex and the City jumped the shark years ago, thank goodness that mess is over. I don't even know when Will & Grace is on anymore, I tried to watch Raymond once, it was beyond horrible and I instead watched a snake mating documentary on the Animal Planet. I've never even heard of Arrested Development. Curb Your Enthusiasm is pretty good, so that gets my vote. Kim Novak turned me onto this show (before we had that falling out over Ray Charles), so I vote for that one.
Actor, Drama Series: James Spader, "The Practice," ABC; James Gandolfini, "The Sopranos," HBO; Kiefer Sutherland, "24," Fox; Martin Sheen, "The West Wing," NBC; Anthony LaPaglia, "Without a Trace," CBS.
These are either crap actors, I never heard of them, or they otherwise suck. I think Anthonly LaPaglia was in Bullets of Broadway and plugged Jennifer Tilly, and he was good in that, so I give him my vote.
Actress, Drama Series: Jennifer Garner, "Alias," ABC; Amber Tamblyn, "Joan of Arcadia," CBS; Mariska Hargitay, "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit," NBC; Edie Falco, "The Sopranos," HBO; Allison Janney, "The West Wing," NBC.
I'm not really digging any of these broads, but sometimes when I'm watching CSI, I notice Hargitay has a big rack just like her mother and I often think what she'd look like dressed like a whore in a blonde wig. So with that entertainment value alone, I vote for Mariska!
Supporting Actor, Drama Series: Victor Garber, "Alias," ABC; Brad Dourif, "Deadwood," HBO; Michael Imperioli, "The Sopranos," HBO; Steve Buscemi, "The Sopranos," HBO; John Spencer, "The West Wing," NBC.
Steve Buscemi was pretty good in Sorpranos despite the season being shit. I don't even know who anyone else is in this category.
Supporting Actress, Drama Series: Robin Weigert, "Deadwood," HBO; Tyne Daly, "Judging Amy," CBS; Drea de Matteo, "The Sopranos," HBO; Janel Moloney, "The West Wing," NBC; Stockard Channing, "The West Wing," NBC.
Stockard Channing is a Best Actress Oscar nominee and I actually voted for her that year, so I'll vote for her here. Am I the only one who thinks she played Rizzo as a dyke? Brilliant! Hey, only the greats like me can pick up subleties like that!
Actor, Comedy Series: Larry David, "Curb Your Enthusiasm," HBO; John Ritter, "8 Simple Rules," ABC; Kelsey Grammer, "Frasier," NBC; Matt LeBlanc, "Friends," NBC; Tony Shalhoub, "Monk," USA.
I'm sick and tired of Frazier and Friends? Please. Larry David is pretty funny and sexy in a weird sort of way, so I vote for him.
Actress, Comedy Series: Patricia Heaton, "Everybody Loves Raymond," CBS; Jennifer Aniston, "Friends," NBC; Bonnie Hunt, "Life With Bonnie," ABC; Jane Kaczmarek, "Malcolm in the Middle," Fox; Sarah Jessica Parker, "Sex and the City," HBO.
All these broads are awful, I leave the ballot blank on this one.
Supporting Actor, Comedy Series: Jeffrey Tambor, "Arrested Development," Fox; Brad Garrett, "Everybody Loves Raymond," CBS; Peter Boyle, "Everybody Loves Raymond," CBS; David Hyde Pierce, "Frasier," NBC; Sean Hayes, "Will & Grace," NBC.
I guess I missed the episode where Niles confesses to Daphne he's gay but still wants to get married and she's ok with it because he has big money. Anyway, Jeffrey Tambor is sort of sexy and no one else here is that great, so it's Tambor.
Supporting Actress, Comedy Series: Doris Roberts, "Everybody Loves Raymond," CBS; Kim Cattrall, "Sex and the City," HBO; Kristin Davis, "Sex and the City," HBO; Cynthia Nixon, "Sex and the City," HBO; Megan Mullally, "Will & Grace," NBC.
Megan Mullally, she's the only choice here.
Miniseries: "American Family -- Journey of Dreams," PBS; "Angels in America," HBO; "Horatio Hornblower," A&E; "Prime Suspect 6: The Last Witness (Masterpiece Theatre)," PBS; "Traffic: The Miniseries," USA.
I tried to watch Angels in America and I got really confused and Carole Anne and I thought I was having a stroke and we went to the hospital, but I was fine. I randomly pick Traffic: The Miniseries because I liked the movie "Traffic" (not sure it's even related) and Catherine Zeta-Jones is beautiful and was in the movie by the same name.
Variety, Music or Comedy Special: "A&E in Concert: Paul McCartney in Red Square," A&E; "The 76th Annual Academy Awards," ABC; "Chris Rock: Never Scared," HBO; "Elaine Stritch: At Liberty," HBO; "Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now," HBO.
Gotta vote for the Oscars, even though I haven't presented since Best Actress for 1973. That bitch Glenda Jackson didn't even show up, but what the hell, it was my night anyway.
Actor, Miniseries or a Movie: Antonio Banderas, "And Starring Pancho Villa As Himself," HBO; Al Pacino, "Angels in America," HBO; James Brolin, "The Reagans," Showtime; Alan Rickman, "Something the Lord Made," HBO; Mos Def, "Something the Lord Made," HBO.
Al's an Oscar winner, and I have to tow the party line.
Actress, Miniseries or a Movie: Emma Thompson, "Angels in America," HBO; Meryl Streep, "Angels in America," HBO; Glenn Close, "The Lion in Winter," Showtime; Helen Mirren, "Prime Suspect 6: The Last Witness (Masterpiece Theatre)," PBS; Judy Davis, "The Reagans," Showtime.
I got confused and went to the hospital before I saw any broads in Angels in America, so I guess I have to go wth Helen Mirren because she has the good taste to have my first name.
Supporting Actor, Miniseries or a Movie: Patrick Wilson, "Angels in America," HBO; Justin Kirk, "Angels in America," HBO; Ben Shenkman, "Angels in America," HBO; Jeffrey Wright, "Angels in America," HBO; William H. Macy, "Stealing Sinatra," Showtime.
William H. Macy is the only one I have even heard of and he's an Oscar nominee, so he's my man.
Supporting Actress, Miniseries or a Movie: Mary-Louise Parker, "Angels in America," HBO; Angela Lansbury, "The Blackwater Lightship (Hallmark Hall Of Fame Presentation)," CBS; Julie Andrews, "Eloise at Christmastime," ABC; Anne Heche, "Gracie's Choice," Lifetime Television; Anjelica Huston, "Iron Jawed Angels," HBO.
I'm not voting for Julie Andrews, I can tell you that! Anjelica Huston is really mean and has a nasty sense of humor, in other words, I love her. She invites me to her annual Easter egg painting party, too, so I vote for her.
Well, you have my votes. This is exactly how I go down an Oscar ballot and vote when I get it, too, so you have some insight on how the Oscars are really decided. I hope you enjoyed it!
Last edited by Helen Lawson; Sep 15th, 2004 at 09:19 PM.