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post #1 of 17 (permalink) Old Feb 22nd, 2002, 08:55 PM Thread Starter
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Talking Latest Olympic and non-Olympic News

Short Track

All Korean Olympians were disqualified because during the final one of them looked threatening to US sportsmen. Chinese runners who won the run were disqualified because they've been consuming too much of oxygen from the tracks used by American skaters. As it was expected by all American experts, gold medal was awarded to USA.



Chess

Similarly to disqualification of Russian skiing team for having too much of erythrocytes in their blood, Garry Kasparov was disqualified from the tournament held in USA for having too many brain cells, much more than limits set by Americans.

Figure Skating

FBI searched the car of the French judge and found a Quran and Figure Skating Rules in Arabic.



Ski Jumping

Finnish ski jumper were disqualified for consuming too much of split pea soup, which is a newly banned performance-enhancing substance in ski jumping.


XC skiing

Russian team was allowed to replace an illegally disqualified ski relay team with biathlon relay team. Russian team took very confident lead after the first shooting.



Ice Hockey

The Canadians will use their figure skaters instead of their hockey players in the Olympic final, because it is impossible to beat them.

"..just knowing that as long as i choose life, there is hope."

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post #2 of 17 (permalink) Old Feb 22nd, 2002, 08:59 PM
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LOL

Good luck to my favs

AZARENKA

*Kuznetsova*Sharapova**Vesnina*Shvedova*Kulichkova*Kasatkina*Pavlyuchenkova*Makarova
Diatchenko*Pivovarova*Gasparyan*Leykina*Zhuk*Potapova*Pervushina*Govortsova*Vikhlyantseva*Komardina*
MINELLA TsurenkoAlize Lim*El Tabakh*Robson*Cirstea
*Juhaszova*Zanevska*Broady*Bouchard*
Cetkovska*Svitolina*
*Bellis*Soylu*Sibille*Uberalova*Eden Silva*
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post #3 of 17 (permalink) Old Feb 22nd, 2002, 08:59 PM
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the last one is the funniest

Vassilissa is my girl............
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post #4 of 17 (permalink) Old Feb 22nd, 2002, 09:00 PM
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Well, in English it sounds funnier than in Russian . Thanks for the translation.
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post #5 of 17 (permalink) Old Feb 22nd, 2002, 09:01 PM
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why doesn't anyone stick a 300lb GK in the hockey ??

he can just sit there eating and nothing will go past, it will just bounce of him

Good luck to my favs

AZARENKA

*Kuznetsova*Sharapova**Vesnina*Shvedova*Kulichkova*Kasatkina*Pavlyuchenkova*Makarova
Diatchenko*Pivovarova*Gasparyan*Leykina*Zhuk*Potapova*Pervushina*Govortsova*Vikhlyantseva*Komardina*
MINELLA TsurenkoAlize Lim*El Tabakh*Robson*Cirstea
*Juhaszova*Zanevska*Broady*Bouchard*
Cetkovska*Svitolina*
*Bellis*Soylu*Sibille*Uberalova*Eden Silva*
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post #6 of 17 (permalink) Old Feb 22nd, 2002, 09:07 PM
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And the latest -


Short Track

Althought it had nothing to do with Russia, they have decied they will whine on behalf of the Korean and Chinese teams anyways.

Chess

Unable to handle that other countries may be better than them, Russia voluntarily pulled out of the event, realizing it was the only way they could preserve any dignity.

Cross Country Skiing

The Russian Federation has decided to file a protest, that doped athletes have every right to compete. "Just because an athlete tests positive for a certaint offense, doesn't mean they are guilty. Since when have athletes been disqualified for doping? This is an outrage - it has never happened in sport before, and only happened now, cause everyone hates Russia", said a respresentitive of the Russian Olympic Committee.

Ice Hockey

In another attempt to preserve their diginity, the Russian hockey team has started whining about bad calls and reffing, before the game has even began. This way, if they lose to the USA tonight - they already have an excuse. As it could't possibly be that the American team might have a shot at beating them legitimately.






Thanks ys - that was a real hoot.
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post #7 of 17 (permalink) Old Feb 22nd, 2002, 09:26 PM Thread Starter
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Figure Skating

ISU rejected Russian protest for Women skating competition. The case could not be compared to Pair Skating case because Irina Sloutskaya hasn't actually cried all night after the free program.

"..just knowing that as long as i choose life, there is hope."

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post #8 of 17 (permalink) Old Feb 22nd, 2002, 09:51 PM
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LMAO!

GOOD LUCK IN 2016 GB TENNIS GIRLS

Johanna Konta, Naomi Broady, Tara Moore, Heather Watson , Laura Robson

Eleanor Dean, Katy DunneKatie Boulter, Sam Murray

Katie Swan, Harriet Dart,
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post #9 of 17 (permalink) Old Feb 22nd, 2002, 10:12 PM
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I should know better than the fight fire with fire, against someone whose ignorance and hatred far out wieghs my own.
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post #10 of 17 (permalink) Old Feb 22nd, 2002, 10:13 PM
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General Olympics

Russians, who criticized the Canadian pair in fighting for a fair ruling in figure skating turn out to be hypocrites by doing the same thing when an injustice is done to them. The only difference is, the Canadians handled it with grace.


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post #11 of 17 (permalink) Old Feb 22nd, 2002, 10:47 PM
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VSFan1 aka Joshua L.- Very well said. Thanks for that "breaking news"

Its also worth noting, that not only do the Canadians handle it with grace, but them and their compatriots do not find it necesary to insult the Russian skater in the process.
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post #12 of 17 (permalink) Old Feb 22nd, 2002, 11:01 PM
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LMAO @ Becca... those were hilarious.... more breaking news:

Ice Hockey:

While losing 1-0 after the first period, Russian withdraws claiming the goal judges are giving the americans goals in exchange for the best seats at the closing ceremonies.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. - Ambrose Bierce

There is no saint without a past, and no sinner without a future. - Shri Haidakhan Babaji

Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it. - Doug Larson

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. - Aristotle
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post #13 of 17 (permalink) Old Feb 22nd, 2002, 11:29 PM
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LOL Becca

...and I totally agree Josh
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post #14 of 17 (permalink) Old Feb 22nd, 2002, 11:31 PM
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Breaking news....

Everyone Hates Russia

Yes, its been declared true. Even the several billion people in the World who don't know it yet, even the ones who aren't aware of where Russia is - all hate Russia.
It is suspected that all parties will become aware of this at a conference being held just before the closing ceremonies. The IOC felt it would be best to let everyone know before hand so that they could boo the Russian team as loud as possible at the closing ceremonies.
For if they had not known beforehand, spectators and the other teams may have mistakenly treated the Russian team just like everyone else- as they had wrongly been doing the whole Olympics.

For countries that are not broadcasting the closing ceremonies, the IOC will fly airplanes overhead and drop fliers to ensure that all citizens of earth are aware of their new, previously unknown hatred.
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post #15 of 17 (permalink) Old Feb 22nd, 2002, 11:36 PM
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LMAO... Becca you are just too hilarious!!

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. - Ambrose Bierce

There is no saint without a past, and no sinner without a future. - Shri Haidakhan Babaji

Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it. - Doug Larson

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. - Aristotle
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