The Lockeroom Chronicles: WTA Championship: ***FUNNY,WITTY, AND DEEP DOWN DELISH***
The Staples Center Is packed and all the fans are cheering for the American Girl's Jennifer And Chanda (but mostly for Jennifer), but below, in the dark, cavernous dungeons that is BJK dressing room, a secret meeting is being held. A meeting that will change the course of history...well the best match history anyways.
BJK: that bitch Jennifer is nominated in TWO fuc*king matches! how the hell did she get into this catagory anyways?
Chrissy Evert: well you kno..
BJK: "shut up dog, i know which side your really on! Y-O-U (pointing angrily at a nervous evert) like Jen" BJK sits her hamburger ass back down, to collect her breath. "but this isnt about her...well its mostly about her, BUT its not ALL about her!
BJK: now when we announce the winner for best open era match, and for some act of god Jennifer is announced the winner, we will say "sorry folks but Jennifer couldnt be hear tonight, so under the rules of the tournement the runners up will get the prize (a brand new porche and a trip to Belize) those are the breaks" BJK snarls gleefully, "and will make sure Jenny from the block aka. Crap-priati is in the bathroom when the award is announced HAHAHAHA"
Martina N,: but sweetie you forget one small fucking detail, what if Miss Bubblegum is announced runner up????
BJK: "IF Jennifer is the runner up, then, i guess ill just shoot myself, that or accuse her of taking steroids, we all know shes not that good anyways.
Martina: "fine, whatever"
BJK: NOW.... onto the matter of catering.....
Two levels up, in the womens lockeroom; Amelie and Ai are discussing who will win best temper tantrum at the MTV video awards
Amelie: uuu know i think Madonna will win it, shes always angry"
Ai: i dont care, im japanese, its against the law in Japan to have Temper tantrums
Amelie: "rightz, but i still think Madonna will take it...."
Next isle in the "im the contenders to winn the whole thing" Are the Belgians and Jennifer Capriati discussing the whole Iraqi situation
Jennifer: Im like, in total, like, support of Bush, like, hes a total inspiration. The way hes leading our troops to kill those noisy brats in Iraq, i just hope they kill the really small ones, you know? The ones that always cry in the stands when im playing?? yeah, those babies there so fucking annoying.
Justine: Oui, ssseez are soo annoying, Oui, but i think they should simply be put in jail, killing is so wrong, besides my grandfather is french and you know the Motto "we only make clothes" and i am in total aggrenment, you know."
Kim: i think its awsomne that babies are crying when we play, it gives the audience a more...alive feeling"
Jennifer: all i know is im winning, all you bitches can just lose right now, but im telling you im ready to fight out there, and besides that bitch Venus isnt playing....shes so done an Anna on us, well whatever, one less bitch to slap is how i see it."
Justine: Oui, im jussz glad that Serenna iz not playing, she scares me, and i would have to go to the bathroom alotz....Oui" Justine thinks to herself, " alotz...."
NOW- to Chrissie's FAMOUS PICKS!!!! (not that she ever pics right...lol)
Jennifer 1-5: Jens the freshest girl out in this field at the moment, she hasnt played much tennis in the last few months and shes really excited to be here at the Staples center, i see her making the finals, if not winning the whole thing.
Kim 1-10: shes one of the best indoor specialist out there, but shes played so much tennis, its biggining to show in her game, im not sure how long shell last with the less tired Jennifer and Ai
Justine 1-20: She has as good as any out of the girls to win it all, yet she has so much pressure on her shoulders to perform well to possibly make #1 at the end of the year, im just not sure she can handle it...we shall see though.
Amelie 1-50: Shes not playing the best tennis of her life and seems to be having trouble with her legs, but shes a talented French lady with a powerfull baseline game.
Ai 1-75: Ai has really surprised many this year, winning @ scittsdale and making the late rounds in many tournements i think if she plays good tennis she could make an impact here, although i dont see her winning this one.
Chanda Rubin, Dementieva & Myskina1-100: These Girls are playing well, but i doubt the pressure will suit them well, i have a feeling neither of the three will make it past the round robin.
...to be continued
Last edited by Trish101; Nov 3rd, 2003 at 03:30 AM.