Williams, Belgians to Form Seperate Tour
As a response to the new mandatory Tier I rule, Venus and Serena Williams, Kim Clijsters and Justine Henin=Hardenne have opted to leave the WTA, and start their own 'SuperStars' pro tennis tour. They'll pay at the majors, and the two weeks before each Slam event, would hold a round robin tournament between the four, with the two best records facing each other for $500,000 each week.
Spots for four other players are being considered, with Martina hingis chief among them.
Noted Hingis "it's would be a LOT less wear and tear on my ankles if I only played four months a year."
Other notables under consideration include Lindsay Davenport ("Gee, just two weeks and play the Slams? Call me after I have my first two kids. I could do this."), Amelie Mauresmo, Jennifer Capriati and Mary Pierce, if she's the Mary Pierce who won RG.
"We're practical". said Serena Williams, caught between takes of her next movie. "We want Anna, if she can just get her game together. We'd take over sports. We wouldn't just be stars. We'd be THE stars."
Said Jennifer Capriati as she went over the sales figures for her star spangled bodysuit. "They can take their mandatory Tier I's and f*ck themselves. We were gonna finance it ourselves, but Serena made thre phone calls and had ten million dollars lined up. Sh*t. The girl should give lessons."
Proud to be an American
Not blind. Not uninformed. We are party to atrocities. But the response of the world after 9/11 is worth noting. Even our most dire enemies offered aid. We should all be so lucky.