Lockerroom Confrontation Wimbledon 2003 - TennisForum.com

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post #1 of 29 (permalink) Old Jun 11th, 2003, 06:15 PM Thread Starter
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Lockerroom Confrontation Wimbledon 2003

Venus enters the lockerroom, and as usual she's the first to arrive, she goes to her locker stores her equipment, then starts to redecorate. Happy with the rooms new looks she sets up her sewing machine. She's startled when Capriati comes in and falls over the ottoman she's placed three feet from the door.

Capriati WTF! What kind of dumbass would put this ...um like you know big ass sofa cushion thingy that close to the door! I almost spilled my fucking drink!

Venus Sorry Jenn, I wanted to give the room some Feng Shui.
Jenn WTF are you talking about, there are no Chinese players in the draw this year, besides, wouldn't he be in the mens draw?

Venus PHew
Jenn) You still gonna do me that favor, Fila refused
Venus) I got you. Venus stares her down....Jenn blinks first.

In walk justine and Kim, justine releases Kim's hand.

justine You're on your own now, I may need this hand(practices hand raise) she still has on the shoes from the French and gracefully slides past the ottoman, but crashes when she slides into the BBQ sauce Jenn spilled earlier.

justine ALLEZ! Kim rushes over helps her up and whispers in her ear
Kim That won't work here no "Franch" crowd to rile up.
Kim Hello Jenn, Venus
JennFuck off Ms Gigglesworth!
Venus) Smiles at kim, glares at justine.

In walks Serena w/a bag from Harrod's, followed closely by Martina carrying her eight other bags.
Serena Look who I found smoking pot and shoplifting, so I put her to work.

Justine Raises her hand then points at Jenn, um Serena Jenn's already here.
Jenn Starts sobbing, I thought we agreed to stop bringing up my past. Serena rushes to her side and begins to sob too.
Serena She raised her hand! She raised her hand!

The door keeps opening and closing, but nobody enters. Serena looks up from the sobfest, then dashes to hide behind Venus, thinking it may be her stalker.
Justine Raises her hand "Calm down everybody it's probably Hantu" she walks over to the door and swings it open. Hantu, falls in backwards exhuasted from her exertion.

HantuThanks juju, there were some crazed fans out there they kept calling me Karen! Karen! karen! sing us a song! What does this mean?
Venus Laughs out loud, the others look puzzled.

In walks Mary, eating a ham sandwhich all smiles.
Mary Wow I was just walking the grounds and they look lovely this year!
Jenn More like grazing, you fucking cow sit down you're blocking Venus' light, and she's letting out my outfits.
Serena Yeah if you shared that sandwhich with Hantu, you'd both be better off.
Justine My trainer....
Serena Raises hand "Talk to the hand before I come over there and smack that cold sore off your lip!"

"Hatred is the coward's revenge for being intimidated" - George Bernard Shaw




"And for the best of the teen-agers who followed her, and who occasionally referred to her as over the hill, Graf had a ready answer: against top-ranked Martina Hingis, Graf wound up 7-2. Graf's stirring 4-6, 7-5, 6-2 throttling of Hingis at the French Open final this June was perhaps the most emphatic parting shot the game has ever seen. "


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post #2 of 29 (permalink) Old Jun 11th, 2003, 06:28 PM
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No offense, but that sucked really bad.

N N




~|~ Justine Henin-Hardenne ~|~ ~|~ Karolina Sprem ~|~ ~|~ Ashley Harkleroad~|~ ~|~ Marissa Irvin ~|~ ~|~ Corina Morariu ~|~ ~|~ Anna Kournikova ~|~ ~|~ Clarisa Fernandez ~|~ ~|~ Flavia Pennetta ~|~ ~|~ Iroda Tulyaganova ~|~ ~|~ Lina Krasnoroutskaya ~|~ ~|~ Denisa Chladkova ~|~ ~|~ Patty Schnyder ~|~ ~|~ Aniko Kapros ~|~ ~|~ Daja Bedanova ~|~ ~|~ Maja Matevzic ~|~ ~|~ Alexandra Stevenson ~|~
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post #3 of 29 (permalink) Old Jun 11th, 2003, 06:31 PM
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It truly was corny on several different levels.
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post #4 of 29 (permalink) Old Jun 11th, 2003, 07:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shap_half
It truly was corny on several different levels.
Not only that, but the jokes were like so overused.
I think I'd rate this abomination an F-.
Still... no offense DA_FOREHAND!

N N




~|~ Justine Henin-Hardenne ~|~ ~|~ Karolina Sprem ~|~ ~|~ Ashley Harkleroad~|~ ~|~ Marissa Irvin ~|~ ~|~ Corina Morariu ~|~ ~|~ Anna Kournikova ~|~ ~|~ Clarisa Fernandez ~|~ ~|~ Flavia Pennetta ~|~ ~|~ Iroda Tulyaganova ~|~ ~|~ Lina Krasnoroutskaya ~|~ ~|~ Denisa Chladkova ~|~ ~|~ Patty Schnyder ~|~ ~|~ Aniko Kapros ~|~ ~|~ Daja Bedanova ~|~ ~|~ Maja Matevzic ~|~ ~|~ Alexandra Stevenson ~|~
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post #5 of 29 (permalink) Old Jun 11th, 2003, 07:20 PM
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it was okay
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post #6 of 29 (permalink) Old Jun 11th, 2003, 07:21 PM
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Okay, but still too ugly to even think about posting it.

N N




~|~ Justine Henin-Hardenne ~|~ ~|~ Karolina Sprem ~|~ ~|~ Ashley Harkleroad~|~ ~|~ Marissa Irvin ~|~ ~|~ Corina Morariu ~|~ ~|~ Anna Kournikova ~|~ ~|~ Clarisa Fernandez ~|~ ~|~ Flavia Pennetta ~|~ ~|~ Iroda Tulyaganova ~|~ ~|~ Lina Krasnoroutskaya ~|~ ~|~ Denisa Chladkova ~|~ ~|~ Patty Schnyder ~|~ ~|~ Aniko Kapros ~|~ ~|~ Daja Bedanova ~|~ ~|~ Maja Matevzic ~|~ ~|~ Alexandra Stevenson ~|~
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post #7 of 29 (permalink) Old Jun 11th, 2003, 07:35 PM
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Yes indeed, in the entire pantheon of locker-room confrontation threads, in automotive terms this is more of a Ford Escort than a Rolls-Royce. You see, there needs to be more narrative skill involved in the construction, a build-up, rather than a few tired cliches about players. Still, "Ms Gigglesworth" raised a smile.

Say it Quietly, I'm White but I'm Really Rather Contrite
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post #8 of 29 (permalink) Old Jun 11th, 2003, 07:54 PM
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continue...

Jenn sits on the couch eating her bbq sauce:i might as well ...WTF is this shit? wait a minute it says...m-a-d-e in E-n-g-l-a-n-d??? where the fuck is england??? i thought we were in the uk?

Venus looks at Jennifer in disbilief: Hun this is England...

Jenn: but...

Serena: shut the fuck up and just eat youre fucking bbq sauce bitch ENGLAND...HA! dum heffer

Jenn sits up ready to rumble: listen Jemima dont get me started

Serena: yeah yeah shove it fila

Justine :Allez! vous arete oouiii you doo that ?? jusss stopp fiyyyting ok?

Jenn gets up all casual and all and extends her arm to serena...a jesture of peace: sorry Rena my bad

Serewna: its k...group hug!!!

Jenn: i said i was sorry butt thats it!

Jenn then goes to leave but Vee stops her in her tracks...jenns outfits are done

Vee: here jen vee says as she hands them out to Jenn....there arer two outfits...one is a cow eating grass on the field

Jenn: the first one looks a lot like Mary....lol wait it is!

and the secound outfit has a man with a shovel in his hand...
Jenn: why a shovel vee? odd isnt it?

Vee: thats no shovel thats Hantu....good huh?

Jenn: uuugh yessss very good...better than Fila thats for sure

Serena: ytou can leave now jenn....oh and try and win your first match i want to squash you in the semis...three sets ok?

Jen: ill try!
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post #9 of 29 (permalink) Old Jun 11th, 2003, 09:46 PM
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Sorry DA_FOREHAND, but I would tend to agree that this isn't as funny as previous Lockerroom Confrontations.
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post #10 of 29 (permalink) Old Jun 11th, 2003, 10:12 PM
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nice try Da_forhand...cnt be perfect 100% of the time...but i wouldnt say it was BAD...just a lil on the brown side (LOL)no offnse or anything!
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post #11 of 29 (permalink) Old Jun 11th, 2003, 10:29 PM
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Umm it was ok though i must say the hanctu comments were freakin funny
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post #12 of 29 (permalink) Old Jun 11th, 2003, 11:48 PM
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lol the "Karen" reference was funny
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post #13 of 29 (permalink) Old Jun 11th, 2003, 11:56 PM
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The "Karen" thing was a bit off.

But I liked the rest!

Sabine Lisicki, Maria Sharapova, Elena Dementieva,

Victoria Azarenka, Dinara Safina, Maria Kirilenko

Nadia Petrova, Samantha Stosur, Ana Ivanovic.

0026..Eternal follower of the Golden Girl .... Official Political Advisor to the Maria Mafia.
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post #14 of 29 (permalink) Old Jun 12th, 2003, 12:32 AM
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Well I give all props to DA FOREHAND! They did a much better job than I could have done! Atleast it was an attempt.

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post #15 of 29 (permalink) Old Jun 12th, 2003, 02:11 AM
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At least Da Forehand gave it a go! I wouldn't have the creativity to even make an attempt.

C'mon Kim

ALICIA FOR PRIME MINISTER
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