Billie Jean King! I would like a word with you... - TennisForum.com
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post #1 of 157 (permalink) Old Apr 9th, 2003, 11:25 PM Thread Starter
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Billie Jean King! I would like a word with you...

Dear Billie,

Hey girl, I wanna ask you something. I know we haven't always seen eye to eye - I'm 12ft taller...and much is made of the fact that I *should* be Fed Cup captain of the US...and I'm not bitter that I never won a slam and you won far too many (you couldve given me one sheesh) .....And we won't even mention the fact that everyone loves me while no one wants to even look at you...
BUT I wanna remind ya Bill. In '92 I was given the "Billie Jean King Award" at the Virginia Slims. That means by rights, I own you. Bow to my superior being!

LOVE (*s*******)
PAMMERSXXXxxxxxx

~Read Pam's Perspective: The Official PamProse Blog~
~I Loves My George but not that skanky Lazenby granddad~This game has gone to DOOSE~~I won the Olympic Gold~~The BEST commentator~~My vowels rulez the air~~ Ping-Pong Pam~~Style Guru: The Pamfro, Voted Hairstyle of the Yr 1983~~Click here to see my fantastic web site created by my adoring 'fan'
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post #2 of 157 (permalink) Old Apr 9th, 2003, 11:27 PM
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Pamela can I ask a question, if you were the FED CUP cptn who would your team choice be.

Also who would you have sent to the Olympics Rena or Lisa?

Dont be bitter about never winning a slam, your forever thought of as the doubles specialst who gets to hang with Sue Barker and Wimby!

WTA TOUR
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THE GIRLS ON TOUR!

ASAGOE~BOVINA~JANKOVIC~MOLIK
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post #3 of 157 (permalink) Old Apr 9th, 2003, 11:30 PM
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Actually Giraffe woman, it is MY award. It has MY name. Therefore I can take it back at any point in time. And you will never own me. I have so much more than you. I won the titles. I had the stupid glasses. I now have the added weight. And what do you have? The worst Bond and a giraffe house?!

Take your award and value it as a token of MY achievements. Besides, you only got it because we couldn't give it to Jen that year cos she was too young. So we gave it to some old person, which was you.

Anyway, my record speaks for itself. Just look at the US Fed Cup team over the last 2 years! We have an astounding record. It's almost perfect - played 3, lost 2. I'm a great captain. You would be too interested in the Pammentary box to care who was on your team. I care for my team. I look after them all. You couldn't even give them advice on how to win, you loser! Yeah, that's right Shriver...you're a loser! You have the Billie Jean King award for Losers! Yeah, my award for losers...

Jennifer Capriati is my idol
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post #4 of 157 (permalink) Old Apr 9th, 2003, 11:44 PM Thread Starter
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If I was Fed cup captain (which I should be!! Get lost Sack of Potatoes Woman!) this would be my team:

Jennifer Capriati
Me

Just us two. We'd beat everyone.

Bill.............I must congratulate ya on your stunning pic on the wta profiles. They really picked one of you looking your best.

Wow. Bet AnnaK feels threatened......

~Read Pam's Perspective: The Official PamProse Blog~
~I Loves My George but not that skanky Lazenby granddad~This game has gone to DOOSE~~I won the Olympic Gold~~The BEST commentator~~My vowels rulez the air~~ Ping-Pong Pam~~Style Guru: The Pamfro, Voted Hairstyle of the Yr 1983~~Click here to see my fantastic web site created by my adoring 'fan'
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post #5 of 157 (permalink) Old Apr 9th, 2003, 11:50 PM
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Yeah well, I'll have you know that I have been asked to do some modelling work. Some company from the UK have asked me to take over from their long-standing former star. Apparently they no longer can use her, so they've chosen me to do it. They said I'd be perfect. She's called Thora Bird or something similar and she used to do adverts for chairs or something. They said my athletic ability and figure means that I'd be perfect for their products. So you see...I'm a model too. Of high-quality health products.

And as for your team...Jen She won't play with for me. And I do so love her. She'd show you up in a minute Spamela! Jen is twice the woman you are, height aside.

Jennifer Capriati is my idol
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post #6 of 157 (permalink) Old Apr 10th, 2003, 12:01 AM Thread Starter
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I know Jen is twice the woman I am <count the slams>, but thats life and I don't mind because I accept that she is superior. AND she'd play in MY fed cup team. Bwahaha.

I'm surprised you're not modelling for the RSPCA. Save the Whales, seeing as you ARE one yourself...

~Read Pam's Perspective: The Official PamProse Blog~
~I Loves My George but not that skanky Lazenby granddad~This game has gone to DOOSE~~I won the Olympic Gold~~The BEST commentator~~My vowels rulez the air~~ Ping-Pong Pam~~Style Guru: The Pamfro, Voted Hairstyle of the Yr 1983~~Click here to see my fantastic web site created by my adoring 'fan'
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post #7 of 157 (permalink) Old Apr 10th, 2003, 12:05 AM
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Hmmpf! I'm working for Stannah Stairlifts! They sound reputable. And professional. And I'll have you know that I have a hormonal disorder that forces me to put on weight. I'm really the same weight as when I played but I tend to have water retention issues, which is strange cos I usually take the piss, but nevermind.

You should do work for the RSPCA too! Giraffe conservation!

And Jen is twice the woman you are. And I still love her.

Jennifer Capriati is my idol
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post #8 of 157 (permalink) Old Apr 10th, 2003, 12:16 AM
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This is hilarious! Keep on going, ladies!
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post #9 of 157 (permalink) Old Apr 10th, 2003, 12:31 AM Thread Starter
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Water retention problems!?! By the look of you you're retaining the Atlantic Ocean.
Stannah Stairlifts?? For Old people, old past it geriatrics...YOU'RE PERFECT!

I DO work for the Giraffe Preservation Federation! I chair Giraffe Conventions, where we discuss the best leaf diets and neck lengthening techniques. <and how not to win slams>

~Read Pam's Perspective: The Official PamProse Blog~
~I Loves My George but not that skanky Lazenby granddad~This game has gone to DOOSE~~I won the Olympic Gold~~The BEST commentator~~My vowels rulez the air~~ Ping-Pong Pam~~Style Guru: The Pamfro, Voted Hairstyle of the Yr 1983~~Click here to see my fantastic web site created by my adoring 'fan'
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post #10 of 157 (permalink) Old Apr 10th, 2003, 12:39 AM
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Ha! You at the Losers Giraffe Parade. I bet you fit right in there. Do they have your pic as part of their logo? Spam is a loser Giraffe! Unlike me...I am a winner. I have won so much more than you. I have more Wimbledon titles than even the great Martina who carried you in your title wins.

Stannah stairlifts - for people who unfortunately are, unlike me, suffering from slight disabilities movement-wise and cannot climb the stairs in their council houses. I'm advertising them because they like my youth, athletic ability, good looks, water retention, cos Thora Bird-face is dead and because I'm cheap...err...easy, no...er...whatever. Anyway, what was the last thing you endorsed? Baby Bio for extra growth from your plants?

Jennifer Capriati is my idol
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post #11 of 157 (permalink) Old Apr 10th, 2003, 12:42 AM
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stannah stairlifts, LOL!! so, BJK, hows your twin, David these days?!

Love yourself Trust yourself Be yourself


~Jennifer Capriati~



I'M THE CAPPER'S SLAPPER!


http://groups.yahoo.com/group/hotjennifercapriati/
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post #12 of 157 (permalink) Old Apr 10th, 2003, 12:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by billie_jean_king

Stannah stairlifts - for people who unfortunately are, unlike me, suffering from slight disabilities movement-wise Anyway, what was the last thing you endorsed? Baby Bio for extra growth
do u think either of these products could help dear old Xav out with his disibilities?!

Love yourself Trust yourself Be yourself


~Jennifer Capriati~



I'M THE CAPPER'S SLAPPER!


http://groups.yahoo.com/group/hotjennifercapriati/
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post #13 of 157 (permalink) Old Apr 10th, 2003, 12:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jennifermarie
do u think either of these products could help dear old Xav out with his disibilities?!
If only it were that easy. If you ever get to have your wicked way with Jen, you'll find out just how much more help that those products I need. Still, I figure I could outlast the BurgerKing after looking at her with that enormous gut.

I'm crap in bed
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post #14 of 157 (permalink) Old Apr 10th, 2003, 12:51 AM Thread Starter
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Pfffft Last year I endorsed special Vowel Deepening Cream for the throat actually so naaaaaaaah!

You may have won more titles Moffit woman. But I have won more hearts. There's no BJKWatch at Wimbledon! I have fans with me on their t-shirts! When people see you at wimby they just run and hide and call the zoo keeper thinking the hippo has escaped.

I hear you were once voted 6th most important person in tennis. You were beaten by Annabel Croft. Only the 6 of you entered.

~Read Pam's Perspective: The Official PamProse Blog~
~I Loves My George but not that skanky Lazenby granddad~This game has gone to DOOSE~~I won the Olympic Gold~~The BEST commentator~~My vowels rulez the air~~ Ping-Pong Pam~~Style Guru: The Pamfro, Voted Hairstyle of the Yr 1983~~Click here to see my fantastic web site created by my adoring 'fan'
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post #15 of 157 (permalink) Old Apr 10th, 2003, 12:51 AM
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lol xav! u turned up right on cue...how strange!
and xav dear, wen i hav my wicked way, i wont need any help, u see fingers are permenantly hard!

Love yourself Trust yourself Be yourself


~Jennifer Capriati~



I'M THE CAPPER'S SLAPPER!


http://groups.yahoo.com/group/hotjennifercapriati/
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