Original Queen, Majestic V!
Join Date: Oct 2001
By the borders of Cappydom
Now it came to pass in those days, when the Sisthren ruled, that there was a famine in Hingismania. The once haughty citizens decided an exodus to Cappydom was prudent. Though they would face the world as international refugees, 'twas better than oblivion.
And the name of the citizens was Hingisites, and the names of their three tribes were Apologists, Constructionists and Rationalize-It-ists. And they came unto the borders of Cappydumb and hesitated.
And they wept.
For it was written;
"By the borders of Cappydom,
where we sat down,
And yea, we wept,
When we remembered our homeland."
For the destruction of their Zion had left emotional scars.
And behold, a foul wind from Cappydumb enveloped their reminiscence.
Hearken then unto the words from the inaugural assembly of 'Peoples Urging Relocation, Engaging Constructionists, Rationalize-It-ists, and Apologists Positively.' Herein after mentioned in these testaments as P.U.R.E. C.R.A.P.
The begotten of the Apologists, by birthright, were first to expression.
"The goddess Tina, PRAISE HER CEREBRAL NATURE, has turned her face from us. We Apologists have served faithfully and will gladly return to her employ if she gives but the slightest sign. But much work lies ahead in Cappydom. The sons and daughters of my tribe anticipate great demand for our goods. For behold, in a divine vision the mystery of the foul wind was revealed. Cappydumb has failed to take Nasdaq! We have already composed many apologies."
The begotten of the Constructionists, by the alphabet, were next to expression.
"We are the lost souls of this migration. Our devotion to the goddess Tina, PRAISE HER CEREBRAL NATURE, cannot be questioned. We have accompanied our beloved Hingisites as a mark of solidarity. Yet, again we ask, what will a Constructionist do in Cappydom? How will we earn our keep? The goddess of Cappydumb knows naught of construction. Indeed, she lacks the essential element to construct a single point! How can we sing Tina's tunes in Cappydom? We renew, urgently, our suggestion to point this odyssey to the land of the goddess Daniela. Our earnings may be slim, but we will endure."
The begotten of the Rationalize-It-ists, 'cuz no one else was left, were last to expression.
"We are ambivalent regarding the actual location of our new home. Verily, verily, there is always a need for our goods. It is of small importance whether we serve the goddess Jenny or the goddess Daniela. Both need our ability to rationalize their failures favorably. Our appetite for the goddess Tina, PRAISE HER CEREBRAL NATURE, remains unabated. We propose a vote to ..."
A voice, rudely interrupting from the wilderness east of Cappydumb, was the final expression scripted from this assembly.
"Constructionists they don't need. They all stocked up on Apologists and Rationalize-It-ists! Got any Miracle-ists???"
Shouting and shoving ensued. Weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth marked the end of the inaugral meeting of P.U.R.E. C.R.A.P.