Hantuchova vows to fatten up - TennisForum.com
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post #1 of 82 (permalink) Old Mar 20th, 2003, 01:14 AM Thread Starter
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Hantuchova vows to fatten up

From Thin to Thick

March 19 2003
By John Gothard
THE SUN-SENTINIEL

KEY BISCAYNE - Daniela Hantuchova, a stick figure with a baseball cap and a racket, settled in behind the table at Harry's All Ya Can Eat and began to eat feverishly while Nigel Sears, her estimable British coach, fed her spoonfull after spoonfull of some of the 15 different entres on the table before the thin athlete.

Sears continued until you had the sense that Hantuchova's long, slender body would explode from consuming the various items.

"If you want to beat the Williams sisters, you have to learn to eat like there is no tomorrow. That's a huge key to beating them. We spend an enormous time, lately, working on Daniela's overeating," Sears said.

"It's not bad now," he added, "but her little butt needs to get a whole lot bigger if she is ever going to win a Grand Slam title.
That's what it has come to now on the women's tour -- not just training to improve your overall game but placing high emphasis on the specific eating skills it will take to beat Serena and Venus, who have become almost unbeatable in the fatty foods since they got that damn MacDonald's sponsorship.

"I have gotten secret tapes of Serena at various restaurants," Hantuchova said, "So that I can find out what the hell she eats to get that big, juicy butt of hers."

Currently the little six foot broomstick weighs about 105 lbs., but she plans to have 20 to 25 additional fatty pounds by Roland Garros vowed Hantuchova as she started on her third delicious banana split.

In the meantime, Hantuchova is being interviewed as a possible spokes person for Rolaids.

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post #2 of 82 (permalink) Old Mar 20th, 2003, 01:16 AM
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Is it wrong for me to think this is funny? Yes? Well fuck you, this is funny. Thanks TeeRexx
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post #3 of 82 (permalink) Old Mar 20th, 2003, 01:17 AM
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Lmao!
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post #4 of 82 (permalink) Old Mar 20th, 2003, 01:18 AM
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fucking funny...

rolaids...lmao

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post #5 of 82 (permalink) Old Mar 20th, 2003, 01:29 AM
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hehehe

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post #6 of 82 (permalink) Old Mar 20th, 2003, 03:15 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TeeRexx
From Thin to Thick

"I have gotten secret tapes of Serena at various restaurants," Hantuchova said, "So that I can find out what the hell she eats to get that big, juicy butt of hers."
What about Serena's boobs.... That's something Daniela needs to work on as well.......
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post #7 of 82 (permalink) Old Mar 20th, 2003, 04:01 AM
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Personally I can't see Daniela saying big, juicy butt about Serena to the media.
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post #8 of 82 (permalink) Old Mar 20th, 2003, 04:43 AM
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stupid article written by an obvious dumbass

If you're going to make an error, hit it long. Otherwise you're just beating yourself.
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post #9 of 82 (permalink) Old Mar 20th, 2003, 05:20 AM
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Funny? oh i forgot to laugh damn! my bad

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post #10 of 82 (permalink) Old Mar 20th, 2003, 05:38 AM
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Lol
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post #11 of 82 (permalink) Old Mar 20th, 2003, 06:19 AM
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The Daniela jokes got old some time ago.
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post #12 of 82 (permalink) Old Mar 20th, 2003, 06:26 AM
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actually i do envy of daniela, so thin, and i love eating but i am so fat , life would be perfect if i am as thin as daniela and that i can eat as much as i like

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post #13 of 82 (permalink) Old Mar 20th, 2003, 06:56 AM
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LOL

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post #14 of 82 (permalink) Old Mar 20th, 2003, 07:00 AM Thread Starter
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bball/leon - I guess you geniuses think Dani is overweight, eh?

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post #15 of 82 (permalink) Old Mar 20th, 2003, 11:47 AM
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No Tee, we fans of Dani don't think she's overweight. We just don't believe all people can criticize about her is her size.

I don't see any of Dani's fans commenting on Serena's "BIG juicy butt," Jen's body like a man, with that gut of hers, or any of the players.

I also wonder how many of you out there are so "cut" that you are qualified to comment? How many of the posters ragging on Dani are in excellent shape? How many DON'T have huge asses, small tits, tiny dicks, or are unattractive? I don't see any of you posting pictures yourselves, leaving yourselves open to the same criticism and commentary.

Interestingly, Dani's fans have not lashed back at the negative comments with anything vitriolic. They've shown remarkable restraint in NOT retaliating against the fav's of the players that post stuff like this. Perhaps it's time to just let matters lie, and perhaps show a little maturity?

..Joe

NOTE: The views expressed in this post are not necessarily those of the author.
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