HI There I"m new Here: Here is my little piece of fiction - TennisForum.com
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 17 (permalink) Old Jan 4th, 2002, 09:03 PM Thread Starter
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: United States
Posts: 7,278
HI There I"m new Here: Here is my little piece of fiction

Okay, I coudn't help myself and had to much free time :-)

Announcer: Hello everyone and welcome to the first all tennis celebrity edition of THE WEAKEST LINK! Here's your hostess you all love to hate, Ann!

Ann: Welcome everyone. Let us get on with it and introduce this weeks celebrity contestants. Please, introduce yourselves and the charity you each are playing for.

Serena: Hi Ann! I'm Serena Williams and today I'm playing for the United Inner City Tennis Fund of America.

Martina: Hello, I am Martina the "Queen of Tennis"Hingis, like Michael Jackson, he is the "King of Pop", so I am the Queen of Tennis. Charity, what is this chairity word mean?

Lindsay: Hey there Ann, I'm Lindsay Davenport...

Anna: Davey! Did you know they call you davey on the internet! I know, I saw, I am now on-line all the time.

Lindsay: Hey I believe it was my turn to intro...

Martina: No wonder I never see her in tournaments anymore.

Anna: I had an injury!

Lindsay: Hey I believe it...

Martina: Carpal tunnel is not a tennis injury.

Anna: Puffy!

Lindsay: Hey I believe...

Martina: Why is she calling me a rap star?

Venus: Omigod people, get it together, will you?

Lindsay: Thanks Venus. Now I be...

Martina: Hmph, I am the Queen of Tennis not a rap...

Jennifer: Like, you know, can you just let like Davey introduce herself already, like sheesh! I'm like the comeback story of the year and like I have interviews to do and, you know, people to talk to.

Lindsay: Who are you calling Davey? And I thought you hated the media?

Jennifer: What? Like I only hate them, you know, like when they talk about me, you know?

Lindsay: No, I don't know. The media never talks about me. Never. It's like I don't even exist in the tennis scheme of things. Like I'm in some freaking vacuum...

Serena: Whoa you guys got Lindsay fired up.

Martina: Thats good, yes? Usually she is like a walking corpse on the court.

Anna: Lurch!

Lindsay: It's always Venus this or Capriati that! I still play the game here people! I do have three grandslams! Is it too much to ask to get an interview or an endorsement deal thrown my way? I am the number one player in the world right now!

Martina: Wait, since when I was number one in the world, I really wasn't the number one in the world, so does that mean I am now the true number one because I am no longer number one?

Venus: Guys do really want to get into that "number one" crap?

Jennifer: Like, you know, just shut up miss forty million dollar contract.

Serena: Hey she never brought that up, the media did and besides her endorsement is good for all of tennis!

Venus: Thanks Serena.

Serena: No problem, V.

Martina: Good for me? How is this good for me? Where is my cut? She is not good for me because I am no longer the number one player in the world, am I?

Anna: No, you are the player formerly known as the number one tennis player in the world! Ha!

Jennifer: Like you can talk, you know? Haven't, like, you married that hockey team yet?

Anna: No, no that is so yesterdays news. I am now dating the cast of Oz. I will be on tv next season.

Venus: Okay, thats one endorsement I definitely don't want.

Serena: I hear you, V.

Lindsay: Can I at least get a cameo appearance?

Anna: Yes, you can be the prison matron.

Martina: Just threaten to smack her, Lindsay. She shuts up because a hard smack might dislodge her boob job.

Venus: Did she just say boob?

Serena: Yeah, she just said boob.

Anna: You are all just insanely jealous because I am the most beautiful player in tennis and all the fans love me!

Lindsay: Yeah well if im ever loved that much by thirty five year old men who take my magazine covers into the bathroom with them, then just shoot me, okay?

Serena: Ewww.

Venus: Gross.

Jennifer: Whoa, you know, like after that, you know, like I don't even want any magazine covers or interviews anymore. I hate the media.

Martina: Jennifer never makes sense. I mean you always on ESPN saying you "hate the media". If you hate the media then stop talking to them so much, yes?

Jennifer: Like, anway, I'm jennifer capriati and, you know, like I'm playing for the Teen Drug and Alcohol Kleptomaniac Juvenile Delinquency fund.

Anna: Oh, like that is a surprise. She forgot to add the "for former Burnt-out Tennis Primadonnas on Steroids" part.

Lindsay: Ouch.

Venus: Low blow.

Serena: Yeah, Definitely below the belt.

Anna: Belt? Are you talking about my belt? You Williams sisters and your fashion school are always talking about people! You sisters are not ladies! I am a true lady.

Serena: Anna you're not a lady, you're a blow up doll.

Venus: Oh, Serena you shouldn't sink to her level.

Serena: You're right V.

Venus: But that was a good one!

Serena: Thanks!

Martina: You Williams sisters double team everyone. I mean you always take each others side. I think it must be a black thing, yes?

Venus: Everyone is entitled to their opinion.

Serena: Unfortunately.

Martina: See, they didn't deny...

Lindsay: Um, Martina they are sisters after all. Buy a clue already.

Anna: We can buy clues on this game? I would like to buy a clue because I am rich and beautiful.

Venus: I think thats a different game, right Anne?

Serena: Anne?

Lindsay: Anne?

Anna: Where did she go? I did not even introduce myself, even though I need no introduction. I am playing for the Anna Kornikova Tennis Scholarship.

Venus: Anna, the hostess is gone. There is no game anymore.

Martina: That is too bad because her game could have made use of that scholarship. Maybe she could have bought a new coach, yes?

Serena: I am so playing with the guys next time.

Venus: I'm with you on that sis.

Anna: You sisters and always saying you can beat the men. You can not because I have all the men and they will play me not you.

Venus: Sigh.

Serena: Lets get out of here, V before they turn cannibal.
Cybelle Darkholme is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #2 of 17 (permalink) Old Jan 4th, 2002, 10:08 PM
Team WTAworld
Senior Member
Big Fat Pink Elephant's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: a pond...
Posts: 19,008
LOL, this was good!

Proud to be a Martian
Queen of the Martians

Wanna hångla?
Big Fat Pink Elephant is offline  
post #3 of 17 (permalink) Old Jan 5th, 2002, 03:54 AM
country flag CC
Senior Member
CC's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Still Point
Posts: 8,741
CC is offline  
post #4 of 17 (permalink) Old Jan 5th, 2002, 04:38 AM
Senior Member
moon's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: usa
Posts: 4,119
Thumbs up

moon is offline  
post #5 of 17 (permalink) Old Jan 5th, 2002, 06:33 AM
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Pacific Palisades, CA
Posts: 1,254
It's a little harsh on Anna, but I loved it! The best humor I've seen in a long time!!!!!
Celeste is offline  
post #6 of 17 (permalink) Old Jan 5th, 2002, 08:29 AM
Team WTAworld
Senior Member
Tammy's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 3,676
that was pretty good

"People aren't cream filled. People are bastard filled bastards with bastard coating."

------> http://torax.outwar.com/page.php?x=198797 <------

Tammy is offline  
post #7 of 17 (permalink) Old Jan 5th, 2002, 03:37 PM
Team WTAworld
Senior Member
veryborednow's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: here
Posts: 10,782
Serena: Anna you're not a lady, you're a blow up doll.
LMAO!! I laughed *so* hard at that

and where they produce desolation, they call it peace
veryborednow is offline  
post #8 of 17 (permalink) Old Jan 5th, 2002, 04:06 PM
Team WTAworld
Senior Member
per4ever's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Belgium
Posts: 41,230
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOOD ONE!!!!!!!!!
per4ever is offline  
post #9 of 17 (permalink) Old Jan 5th, 2002, 04:30 PM
Senior Member
saki's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: merely in delusional land
Posts: 6,299
saki is offline  
post #10 of 17 (permalink) Old Jan 5th, 2002, 05:08 PM
Senior Member
Crazy Canuck's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Munchkin Land
Posts: 28,484
Crazy Canuck is offline  
post #11 of 17 (permalink) Old Jan 5th, 2002, 05:33 PM
Team WTAworld
Senior Member
Williams Rulez's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Venus!
Posts: 20,611
How funny!!

Lindsay Jelena Maria

Mary : Monica : Svetlana : Sania : Jennifer : Amelie
Roddick : Grosjean : David : Djokovic
Williams Rulez is offline  
post #12 of 17 (permalink) Old Jan 6th, 2002, 07:02 AM
Junior Member
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: north hollywood ca
Posts: 23
lorenzo 123 is offline  
post #13 of 17 (permalink) Old Jan 6th, 2002, 07:16 AM
Team WTAworld
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Belgium
Posts: 2,456

"On me dit que j'ai beaucoup à perdre. J'ai surtout beaucoup à gagner." - Justine Henin


henin.net Forum
Justinator is offline  
post #14 of 17 (permalink) Old Jan 6th, 2002, 08:10 PM
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Islands of Serenaus
Posts: 1,537

Definitely rocks. Cool imagination.

Love Lindsay's role in this one. I'm looking foward to the next part.

I'm so happy because today I found my friends, inside my head.

I'm so ugly but thats ok 'cause so are you.

I am a sufficiently accomplished Legilimens to know when I am being lied to

Shania and Serena! My two fav babes! You gals rock. Keep it coming!! Get well Serena honey!

Venus Williams: US Open Champion 2003
Oasiatic is offline  
post #15 of 17 (permalink) Old Nov 17th, 2002, 01:09 AM
Senior Member
PhoenixStorm's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Seoul, South Korea
Posts: 1,011
just digging up old stuff :-)

Teacher on Walkabout
Kiss My Kimchi
Surving in Seoul South Korea since 2007
PhoenixStorm is offline  

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the TennisForum.com forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome