Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: In a Hottub with Judy Nelson
Alright! Time to clear this up, though I'm warning everyone right now. Pammy's in her cups at the moment. Pammy loves herself some booze during the offseason (after my disaster in the Pimm's booth at Newport in '85 which led to the nightmare that was the Tina Turner concert later on that evening, I remain sober during the season, which leaves me a month and a half to get completely 'faced whenever and wherever I can). Anyway, be quiet George is sleeping and I don't feel like changing his diaper just yet! sHHH!!
I have nothing against Martina Hingis. She's a gem of a broad. But one time in the locker room of Indian Wells she accused me of checking her out!!! Well, that is a laugh riot, Pammy checking out a dame? MAMA don't think so!!! PAMMY ONLY LIKES TESTOSTERONE!!! As I once said to a former doubles partner, "Listen Martina, I don't think were eating out of the same bowl! Comprendez-Vous? Dick Van LESBIAN if you know what I mean and I think that you do!!!" Anyhoo, Hingis kept insisting that I was checking out the goods. UH UH!!! Maybe I was checking out how she got her bikini wax done, I'm always looking for new ways to wax "the girl" (it's like my own personal bonzai tree!!!) and I noticed that she had waxed hers in the shape of the Yonex stencil that you see on her raquet. BUT That was all, I was not looking because I wondered what it would be like to take a milk bath with her or because I fantasized about the two of us riding a palamino in the nude. NO WAY!!!
And just because I asked her if she enjoyed hot-tubbing and mulled wine doesn't mean a thing, a lot of STRAIGHT DUDE LOVIN GALS I KNOW LOVE TO HOT TUB TOGETHER WHILE RUBBING JERGEN"S COLLAGEN LOTION ALL OVER EACH OTHER'S SOFT SUPPLE MOIST LIMBS!!! It happens all the time.
So really, I don't have a problem with Hingis, the dame has a problem with me. And as I've said to her before, if she ever wants to "step outside" I will be more than willing to wrestle her nude in a vat honeysuckle.
Ahem...I have to go take a shower now.
That's what she said!!!