Locker room confrontation....... -
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 18 (permalink) Old Oct 18th, 2002, 07:49 PM Thread Starter
Senior Member
barmaid's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,647
Wink Locker room confrontation.......

Martina H. - Enters locker room flings racquet..Boom! Crash! Bang!! reflects off 8 locker's finally lands on Anna's lap!! (She's polishing her nails)

Anna K. - "Hey! what the heck! What's wrong Marti? You almost made me spill my chartuse nail polish!!"

Martina - "I've had it! I quit!! I'm never playing again!!"

Serena - "What's the problem Martina?"

Venus - Yeah! whats all the yelling about?"

Kim - "Whats the reason for you quitting...who did you lose to

Amelie - "Was it Samantha Reeves"??

Marti - NO!

Monica - "Was it Yoon Jeong Cho"?

Marti- NO! NO! It was Melanie (dearest)...that's the last straw!! Talk about humiliation!!

Jen enters...trips over swim flippers..."What the .#$%&*&^%$#@..who do these friggen swim flippers belong to?"

Serena - "Oh! Jen the're mine...I'm doing an underwater shoot with my cat suit on - they think it'll be "sexy"!!

Jen -" Yeah right! Watch out some horny whale doesn't attack you !!"

Conchita M. enters....rolling big yellow tennis balls!!

Justine - "Hey, Conch...whats with the big balls?"

Conchita -" Oh! they want me to autograph these - everybody is luving my old moon balls lately - big comma backa ya knows!!"

Enter Daniela - "Who the devil left those stack of books on the doorway?"

Serena - "Oh! they are mine...I have a gazillion movie scripts to read since I declared I have acting ability - one is for "Batman Meets Catwoman XII", another one is( remake #7) of "Cat On a Hot Tin Roof"...another one.........

Jen - "Get me a bucket...I'm gonna barf!!"

Venus - "Has anybody seen my tiara? I'm missing it since my last match!"

Amelie - "Have a look in the Queen's parlour you twit!!"

Anna K - "Martina when are you and I going to play doubles again?"

Martina - "If you mean tennis, never....however if you want to pick up Enrique and I'll call Sergio ---doubles it will be!!"

__________________________________________________ __
barmaid is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #2 of 18 (permalink) Old Oct 18th, 2002, 08:39 PM
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 737

kazbeee is offline  
post #3 of 18 (permalink) Old Oct 18th, 2002, 08:54 PM
Junior Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 71
lol, so cool
valeria is offline  
post #4 of 18 (permalink) Old Oct 18th, 2002, 10:20 PM
Senior Member
mboyle's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 18,514
lol!!!! Especially with the doubles thing!!!!!!

Romney/Ryan 2012
mboyle is offline  
post #5 of 18 (permalink) Old Oct 18th, 2002, 10:44 PM
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: The land of many sheep...
Posts: 2,139
LMAO,very good!

Its not over at 22.
No shame, No fear, No sense of guilt...
Kiwi_Boy is offline  
post #6 of 18 (permalink) Old Oct 18th, 2002, 10:44 PM
Senior Member
WhatTheDeuce's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 34,461
WhatTheDeuce is offline  
post #7 of 18 (permalink) Old Oct 19th, 2002, 03:48 AM
country flag xan
Senior Member
xan's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: UK
Posts: 5,810
Great stuff, barmaid

And now just a little more......


Jennifer: I don't believe it! How could I lose to the popsicle and the bag lady! How? Why? I'm the best there is!

Arantxa: Yes. But apart from the drinking and swearing. why don't you try to be best at tennis too?

Jennifer: At least miss torpedo-serve got hers here.

Alex: (sniff) I thought nothing could beat my big first serve.

Conchita: That's before you met-a my big moonballs!

Alex: My mother warned me about those!

Elena D: My mother did too. And she won't even let me have a boyfriend. She says I'll get along fine collecting my cactus plants.

Jennifer: They'll hurt you less than any boyfriend.

Kim: Hah! Just because some people can't organise their lives. I've got my boyfriend perfectly tamed. AND I have a good collection too.

Elena: Cactus plants?

Kim: No. Championship Trophies.

Daniela enters: (sniff) I thought nothing could beat my big first serve.

Patty: That's before you met my big ego. I just couldn't lose before my home crowd. I am the queen of Swiss tennis. I have it all - speed, power, personality...

Jennifer: ...Lawsuits.

Daniela: What about Martina?

Patty: Didn't you hear me? I said Speed, Power and personality.

Daniela: Martina has er.... personality.

Patty: I suppose one out of three isn't bad.


Official Hitman of the Maria Mafia
xan is offline  
post #8 of 18 (permalink) Old Oct 19th, 2002, 03:58 AM
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Preston, England
Posts: 4,351
One thing though, Elena D DOES have a boyfriend. She was (apparently) pictured with him in Tennis+ mag. or something like that.
Apart from that though, very funny, esp the last bit with Daniela and Patty
Cassius is offline  
post #9 of 18 (permalink) Old Oct 19th, 2002, 05:06 AM Thread Starter
Senior Member
barmaid's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,647
Thanks xan good additions!!
barmaid is offline  
post #10 of 18 (permalink) Old Oct 19th, 2002, 05:07 AM
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: United States
Posts: 7,274
ORGINALLY POSTED BY PHOENIXSTORM(im just moving it to this thread)

Jennifer: What did that classless b!tch say about my tennis?

Reporter: holds down the mute button


Monica: That Classless b!tch said, "that you just recently started playing top ten tennis."

Venus: What did you call me monica?

Lindsay: Um, vee, I think she was just quoting Jen.

Venus: My name is venus, not vee, and if venus is to hard for you to pronounce then The Queen will suffice.

Jennifer: someone needs to like get off their phucking high horse! (takes a puff on her ciggy)

Venus: I wasn't aware I was on your back, sorry.


Serena: Can we please just stick to the subject!

Reporter: Ok ladies how about we talk about something less confrontational?

Serena: Like Fashion! I have a new outfit I'm planning for my next tournament.

Martina: oh no.

Linday: <groan>

Venus: LordhavemercypleaseforgivemeifIhavetolieaboutanoth

Reporter: what was that venus?

Venus: Nothing.

Jennifer: Nothing my white italitan florida by way of brooklyn ass! <blows smoke rings>

Monica: she said the A word. mY pastor says the A word will land you in hole of sin.

Venus: Jen knows all about holes, k holes, ass holes...


Lindsay: maybe fashion is not such a safe topic.

Martina: especially when you wear hefty garbarge bags linds.

Lindsay: what! they're not hefty they're glaad!

Serena: I can give you fashion tips Lindsay, dont worry.

Jennifer: You better phucking run lindsay before she like wraps your ass in a spandex catsuit.

Monica; She said the A word again.

Venus: dont worry monica it doesnt count because lindsay doesnt really have an ass.

<Lindsay checks her behind out.>

Linday: I do too have an ass! Just because its not mac truck sized doesnt mean its not there!

Martina: ooooo as they say on rikki lake, "dont go there girlfriend."

Monica: I love that show Girlfriends on upn.

Everyone: You watch UPN?

Jennifer: I bet the like the phucking cosby twins over there dont even like watch UPN.

Serena: i'd rather be a cosby twin than the illegitmate daughter of Ozzie Osborn and Chynna.

Martina: Ha! YOu williams sisters are just so funny, maybe you should be on UPN.

Venus: only when they put you on the sci fi network.

Lindsay: Come on lets try at least to get along. I mean I'm getting married soon.

Monica: Married? Oh I hope its nothing serious? Will you be in the hospital long?

Jennifer: What the like phuck are you talking about? She said married, boy meets girl, girl and boy phuck, girl marries boy!

Serena: someone gag her please.

Jennifer: I like gagged enough watching like you in your catsuit.

Monica: I hope i get married soon.

Martina: Didn't you hear the middle part monica? That has to happen first.

Venus: It does not. Don't listen to them Moncia, save your virginity.

Jennifer: Oh yeah like we all believe that stud boytoy phucking bodyguard doesn't have a hands on work ethic. Dont worry I'll take him off your hands if you dont like want him.

Serena: ooo dont let her talk to you like that venus!

Venus: If you can steal him then he wasn't really mine anyway.

Jennifer: goddammit dont you ever like get phucking angry!?

Lindsay: Last time I saw her angry she was screaming over beads at the aussie open.

Martina: Oh yes I remember the pearls so well. Ha!

Jennifer: you should cause like that was the last time you like beat them when they were wearing pearls. <jen digs in her bag and brings out a silver flask>

Monica: jennifer! what is that?

Jennifer: flavored water.

Serena: vodka flavored.

Jennifer: how did you know? <she takes a swig and passes it to monica>

Monica: oh, I , um my pastor says that spirits will sully my soul and that I should bring it all to him when I have some.

Martina: Give that to me. <she swipes the flask and takes a swig> Thats better. I need all the relief I can get these days.

Monica: actually youre whole game is a relief. Youre so easy to beat now.

Martina: what?

Lindsay: shes right.

Venus: its true.

Serena: I gotta agree.

Martina: And you jennifer, what do you think?

Jennifer: <burps> Please like you know you've been my biatch for like two years straight now.

Martina: oooo you just wait jennifer. When we meet again in the aussie final I will cream you so bad.

Venus: that sounds vaguely smutty to me.

Monica: speaking of smut can we go back to the middle part?

Jennifer: MONICA you wouldnt like know what to do with a dick even if you had like touched one before!

Monica: Jen your so stupid women dont wear dickies!

Serena: they sure dont where I come from.

Linday: Monica youre never going to steal mike sell back from his wife.

Martina: Oooo monica your so devious. Who knew? We must hang out more.

Jennifer: If you want to like steal him you got to work him like this...<jen works the ciggy gently in and out of her mouth then puffs a long stream of smoke>

Venus: that was obscene! Do it again.

Martina: Jennifer youre such a showoff. To bad you can't apply that technique on court.

Serena: she can during mixed doubles.

Lindsay: lol!

Monica: i dont see how smoking will get me mike sell.

Jennifer: Godddamit you twit! you gotta like release youre phucking inner hussy.

Serena: emphasis on the phucking part.

Monica: But my pastor says that hussies are not allowed in the gates of heaven but are welcome to the confessional booth on saturdays after six.

VEnus: Okay, too much information. Remind me never to go to church with you.


The WTA Women of Wonder Featuring....The Goddess: Venus Williams The Glamazon: Serena Williams The Lioness: Jennifer Capriati The High Priestess: Monica Seles The Saint: Kim Clijsters The Phoenix: Chanda Rubin The Bon Vivant: Amelie Mauresmo The Titan: Lindsay Davenport The Courtesan: Anna Kournikova The Exile: Martina Hingis The Sorceress: Anatasia Myskina The Minx: Maria Sharapova
Cybelle Darkholme is offline  
post #11 of 18 (permalink) Old Oct 19th, 2002, 09:52 AM
Senior Member
DutchieGirl's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: my own Dutchie world
Posts: 152,959

She & Him @ Melkweg "The Max", Amsterdam 6th May 2010
DutchieGirl is offline  
post #12 of 18 (permalink) Old Oct 19th, 2002, 01:00 PM
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: the sexy side of the colo
Posts: 3,402
I'm out of breath laughing at the PhoenixStorm one. There are too many things to quote. The whole thing is super funny!

Venus and Serena are sitting on top of the WORLD

~Venus and now Serena are the worst thing to ever happen to the crow~

Official POPLOCKER of the Royal Court
Bright Red is offline  
post #13 of 18 (permalink) Old Oct 19th, 2002, 01:23 PM
Team WTAworld
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Hong Kong
Posts: 8,260
OMG, so funny LOL, thanks everyone

-Oldest game in wtaboard, started in April 2000 even before wtaworld is born.
-You can create your own player, making their own name, making their personality.
-Some player has been playing for more than 10 years

visit this thread for more detail
wongqks is offline  
post #14 of 18 (permalink) Old Oct 19th, 2002, 07:13 PM
Zamboni's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Nederland
Posts: 61,037

What would you say if we could make
something amazing
Zamboni is offline  
post #15 of 18 (permalink) Old Oct 19th, 2002, 07:42 PM
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Paris
Posts: 812
Great, just great...
I regret Amelie doesn't have the main part, though...
Could someone imagine a real confrontation between Amelie-melo and Martina...

Amelie Mauresmo, Marion Bartoli, Nathalie Dechy, Tatiana Golovin, Celine Beigbeder, Virginie Razzano, Emilie Loit, Stephanie Foretz, Camille Pin, Elodie LeBescond ... and the other beautiful French girls...
Gus is offline  

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome