locker room confessions continued
Reporter: Okay ladies, things got a little out of hands just a moment ago. Jennifer has agreed to come back in with the rest of the group to finish the interview.
(Jennifer walks back into the room with cigarette in mouth)
Lindsay: OMG Jen, what are you doing smoking a cigarette.
Martina: Like, yeah Jenjaver...tobacco kills.
Jennifer: So what...sleeping around kills too! We're going to die anyways.
Reporter: Jennifer, do you mind?
Jennifer: Aw sh!t...(drops the cigarette on the floor and puts it out with her shoe)...are you square pegs happy?
Reporter: Now, what were we discussing before catfight took place.
Monica: I think the topic was about Martina's decision to take the rest of 2002 off.
Jennifer: (Pulling a little round container out of her pocket and pinching a quarter size amount of chewing tobacco and carefully packs the rightside of her mouth)...yeah, yeah, yeah...we were discussing Miss Wuss' decision to run from the Williams Sisters like a Swiss Alp Beatch!
Lindsay: That was totally uncalled for Jennifer!
Jennifer: Oh, I'm sorry Did I offend the 3 Pus-kateers? It appears that I am the only one here that isn't afraid of playing Shaquille and Barry Bonds.
Monica: As if...you're the only one here that is obsessed with beating the sisters.
Martina: I can't possibly compete with Venus and Serena at the level I'm playing.
Reporter: And what level would that be.
Martina: I'm getting really tired to early in the match and not able to run effectively.
Lindsay: Same here...our matches used to be really, really close.
Jennifer: (Stands up and starts to clap...clap...clap...clap) All I know is you two are the two biggest cramps that I have even seen in my whole phucking life! Ya'll have allowed them to take over our game.
Monica: You are way out of line.
Jennifer: Speaking of lines...isn't there a TACO BELL LINE WITHOUT YOU IN IT!
Lindsay: Don't pay her no attention Mon.
Monica: No, no...I'm tired of being the little good girl. Speaking of lines...is that left over powder on your mustache from the line you did before this interview.
Lindsay: Mustache (rotflhao)...
Martina: Come on you two...this is not the kind of support I need right now.
Reporter: (blowing a whistle that she pulled out of her purse)...TIME OUT!
To everyone's surprise...Jennifer automatically turns around and faces the wall and put her hands on the wall.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Reporter: Jennifer (whispering in a mother/psychiatrist like voice)...it's okay. Let go of the wall.
Monica: She's crazy, I mean really crazy.
Martina: Like, uh, you said it Mon.
Lindsay: Doesn't surprise me at all.
Jennifer: You'll have to excuse me...every now and then the purple unicorn with the police uniform tells me to assume the position.
Lindsay: (scooting her chair away) O-OK
Reporter: If you ladies are ready...I have the Williams Sisters on the phone.
Hey Venus...Hey Serena.
Reporter: I have with me Martina, Monica, Lindsay and Jennifer.
Serena: Hey ladies.
L/M/M: Hey Serena.
L/M/M: Hey Venus
Venus: Hi Lindsay...Hi Martina...Hi Monica.
Reporter: Jennifer is here too.
Venus: I know.
Reporter: We're sitting here talking about Martina's decision to take some time off and clear her mind.
Serena: Yes, I heard.
Venus: I didn't
Reporter: It was announced the other day. It's on all of the websites.
Venus: I didn't see it.
Reporter: Well how do you feel about her decision.
Serena: I fully support Martina's decision.
Venus: How do I feel about what?
Reporter: Her decision
Venus: What does it matter?
Reporter: Exactly...how will this effect the game.
Venus: No, what does it matter to me. Martina needs to make the best decision for her.
Serena: What she means is it is totally up to Martina.
Venus: What I mean is what I said...what does it matter to me. I have way too many things in my life to deal with...
Reporter: Like, how to beat your sister in 2003?
Jennifer: GOOD QUESTION...I've been wondering that myself.
Venus: First of all...I love my sister with all my heart and I want so much for her to do well in every tournament. I just don't sit around thinking about how to beat a person...that's for insecure people.
Lindsay: I agree with Venus...
Jennifer: What's phucking new...
Lindsay: (looks over to Jennifer and rolls her eyes)...you can't worry about another's persons game. You have to play your game.
Reporter: Serena, is that what you did at the Roland Garros, Wimbledon and the U.S. Open?
Serena: Naturally I played my game, but Venus is soooooooooo talented...I had to stay calm and focused.
Serena: Excuse me?
Reporter: Your serve was definitely on while Venus' was definitely off...can you explain.
Venus: You just did. Her serve was on and mine was off.
Serena: OMG! Whenever I know that I have to play Venus, especially in a slam...especially on her turf Wimbledon...I'm just praying to my JEHOVAH the whole time to let my serve go in...let my serve go in...it's like you are playing a professional football team. She's everywhere...OMG...I know that you all could see me shaking...I was sooooo nervous.
Monica: I didn't see her shaking.
Martina: Uh, like, her a$$ was bouncing everywhere, but shaking...I don't know.
Lindsay: I didn't watch
Jennifer: I tell you it's A CROCK OF BULLSH!T
Monica: Will you please be quiet!
Serena: Excuse me?
Martina: She's not talking to you Serena...she's telling Jennifer to be quiet.
Venus: I thought we were talking about Martina leaving and not us playing against each other?
Reporter: You're absolutely correct. Do you feel a void whenever a top player is out with an injury.
Venus: Yes, I've play both Lindsay and Martina so many times...likes 18, 19, 20 times each...you sort of look forward to playing those players.
Reporter: Is that right Linzi and Marti.
L/M: Yes it is.
Venus: With Jennifer...she just started playing top 10...quality tennis...so it's hard to say.
Jennifer: What did that classless b!tch say about my tennis?
Reporter: holds down the mute button
TO BE CONTINUED...