Locker room confesionals ... not real just for fun - TennisForum.com
 
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old Oct 16th, 2002, 02:49 AM Thread Starter
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Locker room confesionals ... not real just for fun

I saw this on another web site and thought it was really funny so i thought i would share lol

Reporter: Good afternoon ladies. I'm very appreciative of you all taking time out of your busy schedules to do this interview.
Jennifer/Lindsay/Martina/Monica: Hello.

Reporter: Martina, I believe that I am speaking for the entire tennis world on how touching your announcement of taking some time off to clear your mind was the other day.

Martina: Yeah, like, I have received a ton of support from my family, friends and fans.

Jennifer: Like, phucking yea, I just stopped crying the other day. It is so hard to believe that THE SWISS MISS, MARTINA HINGIS, is leaving us temporarily. She is truly one of the greatest tennis players that I have ever played.

Reporter: Yes, you mentioned that the other day. "Even better than the Williams Sisters," you said.

Jennifer: Like, phucking yeah!

Lindsay: I too am supportive of Martina's decision to take a break. Coming back from an injury it's really difficult to find that form...(interrupted)

Jennifer: Yeah, Martina haven't been able to find her form...she's definitely not 100%.

Lindsay: As I was saying, it's really difficult to find that form you had before the injury.

Jennifer: And as I was saying...Martina is like my best friend, sister even (looking over at Martina for a sign of agreement)...

Martina: Well, you guys have been really supportive, but I wouldn't go that far!

Jennifer: WHAT

Monica: It takes time...

Jennifer: SHUT THE PHUCK UP...YOU'VE HAD MORE TIME THAN ANYONE HERE TO GET YOUR FORM BACK!

Reporter: Let's try to remain calm here ladies.

Jennifer: I'm sorry!

Lindsay: Martina and I have had some good matches over the past 5 years and I will definitely miss her, but I understand her decision.

Jennifer: I thought the only people you were understanding these days were the Williams Sisters They're the best! They're playing fantastic, uh, like tennis these days. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

Monica: They are playing fantastic tennis. How many siblings do you know that has ever achieved what those two are doing?

Jennifer: I don't phucking know and neither do I phucking care! I don't have any siblings.

Lindsay: What about your brother?

Jennifer: What about him?

Reporter: He would be your sibling.

Jennifer: No he wouldn't...he's my brother, my friend and ocassionally my tennis partner, but...

Martina hands Jennifer her pocket dictionary pointing out the definition of sibling..

Jennifer: Oh, I thought you said something else

Reporter: Both Serena and Venus mentioned in previous interviews how much they missed competing against you and how much of a Champion you are.

Martina: That was really sweet of them. I think and feel the same about them.

Jennifer: (Sticking her finger in her mouth & gagging)...What a crock of BULL! They're nowhere near our level.

Reporter: What do you mean??? They've each won four slam titles; not to mention they've won all four of the doubles slam titles.

Jennifer: Whoop-dy Doo! But have they ever won the Australian Open. I believe that all of us here has won the Australian Open. (Laughing and slapping her knee)

Reporter: Yeah, but everyone here has also won the U.S Open, but you. The sisters have won it 2 times...each.

Jennifer: BITE ME!

Monica: Why do you dislike them so much!

Jennifer: I don't dislike them...I just don't give them the time of day. There are way more important and better players on tour than the Williams Sisters.

Lindsay: Like who?

Jennifer: Well, there's Martina...she has to be the greatest player currently on tour.

Lindsay & Monica: Hmm (clearing their throats)...and who else?

Jennifer: I think Kim Clijsters is a good player.

Reporter: Who else? What about Justine Henin?

Jennifer: Nope. And I think you mean Justine Williams (hehehehe)

Reporter: Amelie Mauresmo?

Jennifer: HELL NO! Not consistent enough.

Reporter: Alexandra Stevenson?

Jennifer: Get real! She can't even advance past the 1st round. When was the last time she even beat a top 10, top 20 player?

Everyone: Last week.

Jennifer: Uh, that was a fluke!

Reporter: On that note...how about Daniela Hantuchova.

Jennifer: She's okay! She did beat Martina so that counts for something.

Reporter: So has Venus and Serena.

Jennifer: They over powered Martina. Daniela won with skill & finesse.

Martina: Jenjaver...you overpower me too.

Jennifer: That's different.

Lindsay: She doesn't overpower me or Monica.

Jennifer: I've beaten both of you ladies before.

Monica: We've beaten you more! I think.

Jennifer: But I beat you three at the Australian Open.

Monica: And we've beaten Venus at the Australian Open before...we've beaten her period.

Jennifer: Ya'll can kiss my butt!

TO BE CONTINUED

--------------------
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old Oct 16th, 2002, 02:59 AM
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Good one, Good one
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old Oct 16th, 2002, 06:27 AM
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Jennifer could never be that dumb and nasty....... I think.
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old Oct 16th, 2002, 10:28 AM
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lol

I may not dare to show you
I might just walk away or crawl under another rock
It's so tempting
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old Oct 16th, 2002, 10:42 AM
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Poor Jenny is being picked up (again)!!

But it's very fun!! and the best line must be:

Reporter: Alexandra Stevenson?

Jennifer: Get real! She can't even advance past the 1st round. When was the last time she even beat a top 10, top 20 player?

Everyone: Last week.
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