Re: JUSTINE HENIN to award the trophy if a Belgian wins the US OPEN!
Oh, but wait, inside the trophy will be a postcard size picture of Melanie Oudin. Melanie's autograph will be on the postcard.. The postcard will read "Thank you, Justine, (uhhh I mean Kim) for inspiring me. You won this year but I am the new megastar and America's new great white hope." Richard Williams will be standing up with a sign that reads "Yep, that's my Kimmy. She is a Williams too!" Oracene will roll her eyes knowing that Richard has finally lost it completely. Kim will then thank "her God" Jehovah but will pronounce it "Yehovah" with a strong Flemish accent. At the very end of the proceedings Jankovic will once again storm the stage with more sparkles than ever in her hair and reveal her new hairstyle with blond bangs and Dementieva will stare on in disbelief that Jankovic is wearing her bangs. Jankovic will turn again and through her dark Prada sunglasses see Justine staring her in the face and realize that she will never win a slam. Jelena will fall dramatically down in a slow swan song as she realizes she is doomed to remain a slamless #1. Billie Jean King will stand on the sidelines with her Jenny Craig T-shirt on and clap rhythmically and feel satisfied that her dreams of creating a successful WTA is still alive.