JUSTINE HENIN to award the trophy if a Belgian wins the US OPEN! - TennisForum.com

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post #1 of 17 (permalink) Old Sep 10th, 2009, 08:55 AM Thread Starter
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JUSTINE HENIN to award the trophy if a Belgian wins the US OPEN!

JUSTINE will be there in an outfit made out of her 7 Grand Slam trophies and draped in the Olympic gold medal and Belgian flag. She will give a 20 minute speech, quickly hand Kim or Yanina the trophy and grab the microphone from Mary Carillo a la Jankovic.

She will steal the limelight and then announce her comeback immediately. Martina Hingis will also be present as her assistant. Jankovic will come out of mourning her grandmother and cry on stage. Serena will then follow with a press conference about the DRAMA of women's tennis and proclaim herself to be #1. Dinara will stand on the sidelines with a scornful look on her face wearing a T-shirt with a picture of Marat screaming "my sister is #1. Fuc* off". Finally, to top it all off, Maria Sharapova will debut her new fashion line of tennis skirts with built-in shoulder pads which will act both therapeutically and bring back big hair and shoulder pads of the 1980s. Kuznetsova will try to participate but will be blocked from the stage by Pam Shriver because she forgot that Kuzy once won the US Open.


Kim will quickly grab her trophy, pop a zit and wipe the pus on Venus Williams. It will be FABULOUS!!!!

Last edited by treufreund; Sep 10th, 2009 at 11:59 AM. Reason: spelling correction
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post #2 of 17 (permalink) Old Sep 10th, 2009, 09:10 AM
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Re: JUSTINE HENIN to award the trophy if a Belgian wins the US OPEN!

Quote:
Originally Posted by treufreund View Post
JUSTINE will be there in an outfit made out of her 7 Grand Slam trophies and draped in the Olympic gold medal and Belgian flag. She will give a 20 minute speech, quickly hand Kim or Yanina the trophy and grab the microphone from Mary Carillo a la Jankovic.

She will steal the limelight and then announce her comeback immediately. Martina Hingis will also be present as her assistant. Jankovic will come out of mourning her grandmother and cry on stage. Serena will then follow with a press conference about the DRAMA of women's tennis and proclaim herself to be #1. Dinara will stand on the sidelines with a scornful look on her face wearing a T-shirt with a picture of Marat screaming "my sister is #1. Fuc* off". Finally, to top it all off, Maria Sharapova will debut her new fashion line of tennis skirts with built-in shoulder pads which will act both therapeutically and bring back big hair and shoulder pads of the 1980s. Kuznetsova will try to participate but will be blocked from the stage by Pam Shriver because she forgot that Kuzy once won the US Open.

Kim will quickly grab her trophy, pop a zit and wipe the puss on Venus Williams. It will be FABULOUS!!!!
Great post, oh Pam don't make me dislike you!

Concerned but not consumed.
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post #3 of 17 (permalink) Old Sep 10th, 2009, 09:18 AM
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Re: JUSTINE HENIN to award the trophy if a Belgian wins the US OPEN!

This is almost as funny as Miffedmax's all aboard plane flights
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post #4 of 17 (permalink) Old Sep 10th, 2009, 09:23 AM
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Re: JUSTINE HENIN to award the trophy if a Belgian wins the US OPEN!

omg

some signature
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post #5 of 17 (permalink) Old Sep 10th, 2009, 09:52 AM
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Re: JUSTINE HENIN to award the trophy if a Belgian wins the US OPEN!

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post #6 of 17 (permalink) Old Sep 10th, 2009, 09:58 AM
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Re: JUSTINE HENIN to award the trophy if a Belgian wins the US OPEN!

Quote:
Originally Posted by treufreund View Post
JUSTINE will be there in an outfit made out of her 7 Grand Slam trophies and draped in the Olympic gold medal and Belgian flag. She will give a 20 minute speech, quickly hand Kim or Yanina the trophy and grab the microphone from Mary Carillo a la Jankovic.

She will steal the limelight and then announce her comeback immediately. Martina Hingis will also be present as her assistant. Jankovic will come out of mourning her grandmother and cry on stage. Serena will then follow with a press conference about the DRAMA of women's tennis and proclaim herself to be #1. Dinara will stand on the sidelines with a scornful look on her face wearing a T-shirt with a picture of Marat screaming "my sister is #1. Fuc* off". Finally, to top it all off, Maria Sharapova will debut her new fashion line of tennis skirts with built-in shoulder pads which will act both therapeutically and bring back big hair and shoulder pads of the 1980s. Kuznetsova will try to participate but will be blocked from the stage by Pam Shriver because she forgot that Kuzy once won the US Open.


Kim will quickly grab her trophy, pop a zit and wipe the puss on Venus Williams. It will be FABULOUS!!!!


But pus only has one 's', what you wrote made me think of something else.
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post #7 of 17 (permalink) Old Sep 10th, 2009, 10:04 AM
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Re: JUSTINE HENIN to award the trophy if a Belgian wins the US OPEN!

she won't dare hand the trophy to serena, that's for sure

-Daniela Hantuchova-


JELENA JANKOVIC - CAROLINE WOZNIACKI
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post #8 of 17 (permalink) Old Sep 10th, 2009, 10:28 AM
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Re: JUSTINE HENIN to award the trophy if a Belgian wins the US OPEN!


GoOd LuCk In 2010 To EvErYoNe In ThE tOp 100!!!!!!!!!!! i have more favouurites than you!!!!!!!!!! this is the most orugunal sig EVAR!!!!!
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post #9 of 17 (permalink) Old Sep 10th, 2009, 10:41 AM
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Re: JUSTINE HENIN to award the trophy if a Belgian wins the US OPEN!

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Originally Posted by rockstar View Post
she won't dare hand the trophy to serena, that's for sure




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post #10 of 17 (permalink) Old Sep 10th, 2009, 11:13 AM
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Re: JUSTINE HENIN to award the trophy if a Belgian wins the US OPEN!

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she won't dare hand the trophy to serena, that's for sure
*dead

"I'm a get her in the locker room. She don't know me."

Career Grand Slam in your 20s? Been there done that. Career golden slam your 30s?
There's only 1.
Serena.
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post #11 of 17 (permalink) Old Sep 10th, 2009, 11:26 AM
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Re: JUSTINE HENIN to award the trophy if a Belgian wins the US OPEN!

If Justine really gives to trophy to Kim, I think she will use it as chamber pot before.
I hope Kim do not lift the top of the trophy.
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post #12 of 17 (permalink) Old Sep 10th, 2009, 11:44 AM
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Re: JUSTINE HENIN to award the trophy if a Belgian wins the US OPEN!

this thread
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post #13 of 17 (permalink) Old Sep 10th, 2009, 12:07 PM Thread Starter
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Re: JUSTINE HENIN to award the trophy if a Belgian wins the US OPEN!

Oh, but wait, inside the trophy will be a postcard size picture of Melanie Oudin. Melanie's autograph will be on the postcard.. The postcard will read "Thank you, Justine, (uhhh I mean Kim) for inspiring me. You won this year but I am the new megastar and America's new great white hope." Richard Williams will be standing up with a sign that reads "Yep, that's my Kimmy. She is a Williams too!" Oracene will roll her eyes knowing that Richard has finally lost it completely. Kim will then thank "her God" Jehovah but will pronounce it "Yehovah" with a strong Flemish accent. At the very end of the proceedings Jankovic will once again storm the stage with more sparkles than ever in her hair and reveal her new hairstyle with blond bangs and Dementieva will stare on in disbelief that Jankovic is wearing her bangs. Jankovic will turn again and through her dark Prada sunglasses see Justine staring her in the face and realize that she will never win a slam. Jelena will fall dramatically down in a slow swan song as she realizes she is doomed to remain a slamless #1. Billie Jean King will stand on the sidelines with her Jenny Craig T-shirt on and clap rhythmically and feel satisfied that her dreams of creating a successful WTA is still alive.
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post #14 of 17 (permalink) Old Sep 10th, 2009, 12:15 PM
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Re: JUSTINE HENIN to award the trophy if a Belgian wins the US OPEN!

Justine
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post #15 of 17 (permalink) Old Sep 10th, 2009, 12:25 PM
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Re: JUSTINE HENIN to award the trophy if a Belgian wins the US OPEN!

And there will not be one peep from Justine regarding UNICEF
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