Funny old tennis quotes -
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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old Sep 1st, 2002, 02:06 AM Thread Starter
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Funny old tennis quotes

Love is nothing in tennis, but in life it's everything. ~Author Unknown

Ladies, here's a hint: if you're playing against a friend who has big boobs, bring her to the net and make her hit backhand volleys. That's the hardest shot for the well-endowed. ~Billie Jean King

"Good Shot," "Bad Luck," and "Hell" are the five basic words to be used in a game of Tennis, though these, of course, can be slightly amplified. ~Virginia Graham

When I was forty my doctor advised me that a man in his forties shouldn't play tennis. I heeded his advice carefully and could hardly wait till I reached fifty to start again. ~Hugo Black

But that won't give me a free hand to hold the beer. ~Billy Carter, while being taught a two-handed backhand shot

A perfect combination of violent action taking place in an atmosphere of total tranquility. ~Billie Jean King

It's one-on-one out there, man. There ain't no hiding. I can't pass the ball. ~Pete Sampras
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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old Sep 1st, 2002, 02:10 AM
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Re: Funny old tennis quotes

Originally posted by Sophie
Ladies, here's a hint: if you're playing against a friend who has big boobs, bring her to the net and make her hit backhand volleys. That's the hardest shot for the well-endowed. ~Billie Jean King
Did she just reveal a tactic to beat Serena Williams?

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Dancing and Skating through Life
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old Sep 1st, 2002, 02:15 AM
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'Well, Arantxa's the only player on tour to use that ball clip...and it's smart play - that way she won't get clay up in her panties' - 1990 (91?) French Open.
But I've fogotten the commentator that said it....damn it, what is her name. Kind of ignorant...commentated NBC in the early 90s...Sorry, I'm drawing a blank.

*Joanne Russell, is that the right name?*
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old Sep 1st, 2002, 02:17 AM Thread Starter
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Here are some more:

I am not a monster. I'm not all bad. Maybe 10 percent. I think I'm 90 percent good."
- John McEnroe, in 1984.

"I know I look ferocious, but I never forget my mother's birthday."
- Australian tennis standout Mark Edmondson in 1977.

"People don't seem to understand that it's a damn war out there. Maybe my methods aren't socially acceptable to some, but it's what I have to do to survive. I don't go out there to love my enemy. I go out there to squash him."
- Jimmy Connors, in 1973.

"We are professionals. The crowd must be allowed to participate. New Yorkers want blood."
- Jimmy Connors, on the rowdy U.S. Open spectators. (1976)

"It would be a nice place if you took all the people out of the city."
- Ugly American, 18-year-old tour rookie John McEnroe, on visiting Paris. (1977)

"Women's tennis is two sets of rubbish that lasts only half an hour."
- Pat Cash, in 1987, the year he won Wimbledon.

"I don't know that I changed all that much. They just found somebody worse."
- Aging tennis bad boy Jimmy Connors, referring to John McEnroe, in 1984.

"The incredible thing about playing her is if I hit a winner I will hear 'Good shot!' I keep saying to myself, 'Is this girl real?' She is."
- Chris Evert, on playing Evonne Goolagong Cawley.

"Equality? They ought to play the women's final on opening day. Everybody knows who's going to be in it."
- Jimmy Connors, at the 1976 U.S. Open, on the issue of equal prize money for women.

"Her tennis isn't going to straighten out until she straightens out her life."
- Chris Evert Lloyd, on Martina Navratilova, in 1982.

"There is a terrific apprehension among some people that blacks will take over the sport... It will create problems because their behavior, speech and dress is just a completely different culture."
- Tennis great Arthur Ashe, in 1988.

"What? Don't tell me that! That's the biggest crock of dump! Being the U.S. Open champion is what I've lived for. If these guys are relieved at losing, something is wrong with the game - and with them."
- Thunderstruck Jimmy Connors, told that Pete Sampras, after failing to defend his 1991 U.S. Open title, had expressed relief that the "bag of bricks" had just been lifted from his shoulders.

"You are the absolute pits of the world!"
- John McEnroe, in his most famous insult, ranting at umpire Edward James during the 1981 Wimbledon Championships.

"I wonder if she knows what's going on yet. That's great. She's winning. Wait'll she learns how to choke."
- Veteran champion Billie Jean King's put-down of 14-year-old Tracy Austin, after Austin upset fourth-seeded Sue Barker in the 1977 U.S. Open.

"You cannot be serious!"
- John McEnroe's infamous ranting to a Wimbledon umpire.

"Manners are manners. Jimmy Connors and Ilie Nastase have no respect. I don't want my kid seeing Nastase play. The demeanor you show on the court is important to tennis.... Maybe we (yesterday's stars) were too stereotyped. But we were told to behave or they'd take our racket away."
- Rod Laver, in 1980.

"I didn't aspire to be a good sport; 'champion' was good enough for me."
- England's fiercely competitive Fred Perry, the son of a working class Member of Parliament, who won three straight Wimbledons (1934-36) and was renowned for gamesmanship.

"I didn't start a war. Nobody died."
- Boris Becker, putting his shocking 1987 Wimbledon upset loss to unheralded Australian Peter Doohan into perspective.

"I am the best tennis player who cannot play tennis."
- Ion Tiriac, the ungainly but shrewd Romanian who, with Ilie Nastase, carried his country to the Davis Cup final in 1969, 1971 and 1972.

"I learned that it will be fun if it's all like this."
- Naive 13-year-old tennis phenomenom Jennifer Capriati, after reaching the final in her first pro tournament, in 1990. Capriati would later be arrested for drug possession and become one of tennis' most famous burnout victims.

"I want to reach absolute perfection. And I think I can reach it." -
All-time tennis great Steffi Graf, who went on to win 22 Grand Slam singles titles, in 1991.

"I want to be remembered as a great player, but I guess it will be as a player who got angry on a tennis court."
- The lament of over-the-hill John McEnroe.

"I may have exaggerated a bit when I said that 80 percent of the top 100 women are fat pigs. What I meant to say was 75 percent of the top 100 women are fat pigs."
- Richard Krajicek later apologized for these gauche 1992 remarks and won Wimbledon in 1996.

"My accomplishments do not live up to my tennis game. Most people have to work really hard and win some big matches, and then they get money and popularity. For me it has been the reverse of everybody else. The exact opposite."
- Under-achiever Andre Agassi, in May 1992, two months before he won his first Grand Slam title at Wimbledon.

"If [Harry] Hopman told his squad to go jump a fence, they wouldn't think twice. If I ask a player to go practice his serve for half an hour, he will probably want to know why."
- Australian Davis Cup captain Neale Fraser, in 1992.

"My femininity is always something I've tried to preserve in this dog-eat-dog world."
- Margaret Smith Court, the tall and powerful Australian tennis great.

"My goal one day is to be in the same sentence as Rod Laver and Ken Rosewall. If I can match them for 10 years, I'd be in their company. They were class acts. That's what I'd like to be."
- Pete Sampras, after winning the 1993 U.S. Open for his third Grand Slam title.

"What is it that Americans see in Agassi? I think he's short, hairy, balding and stupid."
- Louise Evans, of the Australian Associated Press, not enamored of Andre Agassi during all the Agassi mania at Wimbledon in 1993.

"His day is done, and now we're doing it. And we're doing it pretty well and not with fingers in the air and our hands on our crotches."
- Jim Courier, in 1994, firing back after Jimmy Connors criticized the leading players for being boring and unentertaining.

"There's too much money and too many nice guys around."
- John McEnroe, on what's wrong with men's tennis, in 1994

"She might be No. 1 in two years, but will she last five years?"
- Martina Navratilova, critical of phenom Martina Hingis' fall 1994 pro debut at 14, and concerned she may burn out prematurely.

"This is something you'd die for. The intensity of playing against Pete is something above and beyond anything I feel against anybody else, and beyond the rivalry there's that hunt for No. 1."
- Andre Agassi, fired up about his rivalry with Pete Sampras in 1995.

"When you become a top player, you think that nothing else and nobody else matters. You can tell everybody on earth, 'Listen, I'm playing tennis, I don't have time for you. I'm in the semifinals of the U.S. Open, screw everybody and everything else.' "
- Former world No. 1 Mats Wilander, in 1995.

"Women should never be allowed on centre court."
- Jack Kramer, after his match was delayed by a long women's singles match

"Big money encourages tanking. In my opinion, tanking is going on even with a lot of the top guys today - it's quite evident."
- Jimmy Connors, in 1997.
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old Sep 1st, 2002, 03:03 AM
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"Tennis- Even if you don't score you still make love"

Arantxa Sanchez Vicario Always #1
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old Sep 1st, 2002, 04:25 AM
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LMAO. These are just too funny. I guess Connors and Krajicek didn't like the WTA too much.
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old Sep 1st, 2002, 05:07 AM
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Good stuff, I nicked a couple of quotes, thanks.

If your fave's coach isn't Richard Williams, that's just her first problem...

I was there when the ALL BLACKS won the World Cup in 2011!!!

"I don't know that I changed all that much. They just found somebody worse." - Aging tennis bad boy Jimmy Connors, referring to John McEnroe, in 1984.

There can never be too many "Sister Slams!"
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