I've been away for a few days, and most of you were, I'm sure, anxiously awaiting my return. As usual, I will cynically break down the play and looks of the WTA tour's current state at the US Open.
Maybe some men's tennis thrown in for fun.
My eyes! They burn! No, Serena, just...absolutely not. Yuck. Eww. (Insert negative adjective). I've had slight issues with her outfits before this, but this is an all-time low for any player. Serena is too big in all the wrong places to wear this suit, and her buttcheek rolls need not hang out. It's ashame. No, she is not attractive in this "article of clothing", die-hard fan or not.
The Spice Girls Suck!
Although that was popular to say a few years ago (referring to the British quintet), it may be relevant now. Anna deserved her boos in singles and she sure played...um...interestingly in doubles. Hingis choked again in singles, and in her doubles match made as many errors as she has been making lately...a lot. (Although I was smiling with those three amazing winners she hit in the last game of the Irving match.)
Buy One Bagel, Get One Free!
How do they taste, ladies? Double bagels are fairly rare, but two in one day from Jen and Venus? It's craziness, ladies and gents. Oh, and I might add that Mirjana Lucic is the most talentless, mindless player in the history of tennis. She insults the women's tour with her power, as you will NEVER see an uglier, more one-dimensional game....ever.
Did you notice...
...men's players only cramp after they lose a point...a giant James Blake poster in the men's clothing section at your local Macy's...Martina Hingis and Marat Safin have been all personality in their interviews...USA needs to fire Jim Courier...oh, and stop showing crappy men's matches of Nalbandian, Costa, etc.
Alexandra Stevenson and Jelena Dokic, two of my least faves, were crushed! Yay! I actually felt bad for Stevenson, as she loses, what, all the time now? But I was happy to see Dokic exit the open, after tanking yet another match. Grow up and atleast try (not as though you do anything well other than power anyway). Oh, and Stephanie Foretz rocks! A cute tennis nerd (them glasses give personality)! What is she? (Nationality)
Rusedski deserved all of his boos when making gestures to the foot fault line judge. Greggy, he has ONE job, to look directly at your feet while you are staring at the sky. I don't think foot fault judges have ever made a bad call. Anna, as I mentioned, deserved all them boos! (Even though she's one of my faves)
That Seles commercial is great. The Roddick one is good. But the USA network needs to get a clue...again. Pat Rafter is still in their (obviously dated) US Open promo ads, along with about 8 shots of Capriati.