Help me, I'm obsessed with Sharapova's Backhand - TennisForum.com
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post #1 of 102 (permalink) Old Jan 17th, 2009, 01:19 AM Thread Starter
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Help me, I'm obsessed with Sharapova's Backhand

Okay guys, this is gonna sound un peu bizarre, but please hear me out.
I am like massively obsessed with Maria Sharapova's backhand. I watch like at least 50 videos of her backhand every day, then I watch them in slow motion. I stand in front of my bedroom window with the Tv remote as my tennis bat and watch myself trying to replicate her stoke. Sometimes i will toss a sock in front of the remote to hit, sometimes cross court which is mine, and of course Maria's fave, but sometimes down the line too. Not only that, I dream about her backhand also. One time I dreamt that I was Maria and I got to hit a backhand cross court winner and it felt soo amazing.

Now you might think that this is a bit weird but its okay as it doesn't affect my life but the thing is there is more. For starters, my neighbour saw me doing backhands with the TV remote in front of my window (I don't have a mirror in my room because I have a fear of them). I'm frightened that the neighbours will tell my parents and then they will now about my obsession and try to find help for me.

But the worst thing of all is. I think that I'm actually kinda sexually attracted to Maria's backhand as well. I don't know if there is anyone else on the site that's had this problem? Maybe it's just a tennis fan thing. But anyway I've started using backhand slow mo's as a replacement for porn. I confided this to my best friend and he was very freaked out.

What advice can you give me? I have backhands on the brain.
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post #2 of 102 (permalink) Old Jan 17th, 2009, 01:24 AM
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Re: Help me, I'm obsessed with Sharapova's Backhand

Copy Serena's instead.

Serena Williams Fabio Fognini Rafael Nadal
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post #3 of 102 (permalink) Old Jan 17th, 2009, 01:29 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Help me, I'm obsessed with Sharapova's Backhand

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Originally Posted by ree-and-ross View Post
Copy Serena's instead.
I don't think that would be fair to Serena's backhand. I would just be using it to get over Maria's backhand. I don't want a rebound backhand.
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post #4 of 102 (permalink) Old Jan 17th, 2009, 01:30 AM
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Re: Help me, I'm obsessed with Sharapova's Backhand



Post of the year.

Serena. Simona. Ana. Petra. Venus.
Clijsters, Henin, Dementieva, Davenport.
Martina Hingis - "No one else played like Hingis - no one could."
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post #5 of 102 (permalink) Old Jan 17th, 2009, 01:33 AM
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Re: Help me, I'm obsessed with Sharapova's Backhand

first, you have a fear of mirrors. maybe if you can get rid of that fear, it will cure all your other weird problems as well.

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post #6 of 102 (permalink) Old Jan 17th, 2009, 01:39 AM
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Re: Help me, I'm obsessed with Sharapova's Backhand

Not sure about her backhand, butt I think her back side is frequently underrated.

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post #7 of 102 (permalink) Old Jan 17th, 2009, 01:44 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Help me, I'm obsessed with Sharapova's Backhand

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Originally Posted by nelsondan View Post
Not sure about her backhand, butt I think her back side is sometimes underrated.
I disagree. There is something about the regal sweeping of the shoulders, the full body rotation, and silky follow through that offers a beauty that no backside ever could.

Quote:
Originally Posted by fufuqifuqishahah View Post
first, you have a fear of mirrors. maybe if you can get rid of that fear, it will cure all your other weird problems as well.
Frankly, I find people who don't have a fear of mirrors to be the weird ones, so could you help with the main problem please.
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post #8 of 102 (permalink) Old Jan 17th, 2009, 01:45 AM
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Re: Help me, I'm obsessed with Sharapova's Backhand

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Originally Posted by Atomic View Post
Okay guys, ...

But the worst thing of all is. I think that I'm actually kinda sexually attracted to Maria's backhand as well...
What advice can you give me? I have backhands on the brain.
Go get her Fathead and have yourself a party

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Enjoy This Moment!!
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post #9 of 102 (permalink) Old Jan 17th, 2009, 02:05 AM
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Re: Help me, I'm obsessed with Sharapova's Backhand

In all respect, you need help.

My number one: Victoria Azarenka

ATP: Novak Djoković

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post #10 of 102 (permalink) Old Jan 17th, 2009, 02:12 AM
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Re: Help me, I'm obsessed with Sharapova's Backhand

stupid thread, delete it.
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post #11 of 102 (permalink) Old Jan 17th, 2009, 02:13 AM
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Re: Help me, I'm obsessed with Sharapova's Backhand

Sweet cleo part II



Ivanovic - Görges - Agnieszka - Li - Bencic

Venus - Kvitova - Golden Flowers - A.K. Schmiedlova - Stephens - Stosur - Woz
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post #12 of 102 (permalink) Old Jan 17th, 2009, 02:30 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Help me, I'm obsessed with Sharapova's Backhand

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Originally Posted by goldenlox View Post
Go get her Fathead and have yourself a party
I actually do have said poster but
a) I prefer the backhand to be in motion, i.e a video
b) I'm trying to cure myself, not pleasure myself
Here is the poster btw for those who haven't seen:

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post #13 of 102 (permalink) Old Jan 17th, 2009, 02:34 AM
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Re: Help me, I'm obsessed with Sharapova's Backhand

OMG I so get what you mean. When I see Serena's serve I literally salivate, IT'S SO GOOD.

[/freak]

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post #14 of 102 (permalink) Old Jan 17th, 2009, 02:46 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Help me, I'm obsessed with Sharapova's Backhand

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Originally Posted by LDF View Post
OMG I so get what you mean. When I see Serena's serve I literally salivate, IT'S SO GOOD.

[/freak]
Thankyou It's very reassuring to know that there are others out there like me.
Have you ever done a 'sex wee' from seeing her serve?
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post #15 of 102 (permalink) Old Jan 17th, 2009, 02:56 AM
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Re: Help me, I'm obsessed with Sharapova's Backhand

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Originally Posted by Atomic View Post
Frankly, I find people who don't have a fear of mirrors to be the weird ones, so could you help with the main problem please.
I know I was just kidding.

Are you sexually enticed by any other typically-nonsexual motion?

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