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post #1 of 94 (permalink) Old Jun 19th, 2008, 05:36 AM Thread Starter
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LOCKER ROOM CONFRONTATION: Wimbledon

Just to start (poor start) but we have a lot of fodder to work with given everything that has been happening on the tour...

It’s a few days before the start of the tournament and the players are gathered for a mandatory WTA players meeting.

It’s a few days before the start of the tournament and the players are gathered for a mandatory WTA players meeting.

Venus Williams sits in a corner...eyes closed rocking back and forth repeating over and over:
“I’m good enough, I’m smart enough and people love me… my backhand is strong, my forehand is improving and my net game has never been better…
Maria: And your wig is a hot mess….
Jelena J: I no know…she is crazy…she crazy in Miami final…all screaming and yelling…
Maria: That was Serena
JJ: Oh Yeah…So long ago
Venus: Say what you want bitch…this IS MY HOUSE!!!
Maria: Um…HELLO!!! You’re only good every two years…save that shit for next year
JJ: Ana, do you have to carry that French Open trophy with you everywhere?
Ana: I know…I’m still exited…Plus I having dinner with Radek…he wants to see it
Venus: bitch you just won your last slam
Maria: shit, she just won her last match
JJ:
ENTERS JUSTINE HENIN
Justine: Ana, bitch I’m her to get my cut
Venus whispers to Maria: What did she say? She’s here to get her ****?
Ana: Justine…um errr umm what do you say…um what do you speak of
Justine: bitch don’t play dumb…I retire before Roland Garros…you win…we split the check….bitch gimme my money
Maria whispers to Venus: Damn, I don’t remember her English being that good…and what with all this gangsta shit
Venus: She aint from no damn Belguim…that was an act…she grew up in Harlem…
Ana: Justine, that is crazy…what do you speak about?
Justine: Don’t let me get ghetto up in here…me and my homies gonna go smoke some weed…when I get back have my money…(Justine breaks racquet over her own head for emphasis)
ANA RUNS OUT THE PLAYERS LOUNGE… SERENA POSING IN THE MIRROR YELL OVER TO THE GIRLS
Serena: Was that Justine?
Venus: Yeah
Serena: You know she retired because of me right? She heard I was gonna play Paris…
Venus: I guess Srebotnik missed that memo
Ana: Guys…I think I withdraw…thumb injury or something…

Official Gangsta rappa of the Royal Court

Will you be there?

Last edited by Cam'ron Giles; Jun 19th, 2008 at 06:38 AM.
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post #2 of 94 (permalink) Old Jun 19th, 2008, 06:07 AM
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Re: LOCKER ROOM CONFRONTATION: Wimbledon

Act 4 Scene 1 (in Wimbledon women's lockerroom)

(Ana Ivanovic is putting her tennis equipment away. Jankovic enters)

Ana: Oh hi Jelena, how are you doing?
Jelena: (walks by her and says nothing)
Ana: Jelena??? Jelena? (taps Jankovic on the shoulder) Are you ok?

Jelena: (breathes deeply and turns around) Oh hi Ana!! I didn't notice you there? How are you?
Ana: Oh my Serbian sister! I missed you so much. You didn't return my calls or text messages after I won the..........
Jelena: Oh........um I got a new phone! Yeah, I lost my other one. Anyways, it's great seeing you and I need to go, bye!
Ana: Wait! Jelena,......you're really talented and someday your dream will come true. I love your sense of humor and personality. You're very funny. Please tell me you're not mad at me in some way about me winning a grand slam and reaching #1. We are still friends right???

Jelena: Oh, of course!! Come here, friend! (grabs Ana close to her and hugs her)
Ana: Awwww!!!! We are such great friends!
Jelena: (takes out a pair of scissors and cuts a lock of Ana's dark hair) Yes! Muahahahahaha!
Ana: Ok, I'm glad we made up. Ok, I have to go practice with my coach now. I'll see you later.

(Ana and Jelena stops hugging. Ana grabs her tennis equipment and walks out of the lockerroom)

Jelena: (makes a phone call) Hello?
Anastasia Myskina: Hello?
Jelena: (while staring at the strands of Ana's hair that she had cut off) I got that bitch's hair! Now, you show me how to use it to make a voodoo doll of Ivanobitch so that I can cause her misery from anywhere! With her out of the way, I will win every grand slam, reach #1, and Serbia will only remember me!
Anastasia: YES!!! I love making voodoo dolls and causing people misery through dark magic! That's how I won the 2004 French Open over Dementiloser! Anyways, I'll meet you at 1pm!
Jelena: Muahahahahahaha!!!! (hangs up and walks away)
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post #3 of 94 (permalink) Old Jun 19th, 2008, 06:15 AM
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Re: LOCKER ROOM CONFRONTATION: Wimbledon

OP, your spelling of Ana's name messed up the humor in it =[

Jelena Jankovic

Victoria Azarenka.x. Andrea Petkovic .x. Julia Goerges.x. Petra Kvitova .x. Daniela Hantuchova



Djokovic ~ Murray~ Tsonga ~Monfils
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post #4 of 94 (permalink) Old Jun 19th, 2008, 07:26 AM
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Re: LOCKER ROOM CONFRONTATION: Wimbledon

Quote:
Originally Posted by DimaDinosaur View Post
Act 4 Scene 1 (in Wimbledon women's lockerroom)

(Ana Ivanovic is putting her tennis equipment away. Jankovic enters)

Ana: Oh hi Jelena, how are you doing?
Jelena: (walks by her and says nothing)
Ana: Jelena??? Jelena? (taps Jankovic on the shoulder) Are you ok?

Jelena: (breathes deeply and turns around) Oh hi Ana!! I didn't notice you there? How are you?
Ana: Oh my Serbian sister! I missed you so much. You didn't return my calls or text messages after I won the..........
Jelena: Oh........um I got a new phone! Yeah, I lost my other one. Anyways, it's great seeing you and I need to go, bye!
Ana: Wait! Jelena,......you're really talented and someday your dream will come true. I love your sense of humor and personality. You're very funny. Please tell me you're not mad at me in some way about me winning a grand slam and reaching #1. We are still friends right???

Jelena: Oh, of course!! Come here, friend! (grabs Ana close to her and hugs her)
Ana: Awwww!!!! We are such great friends!
Jelena: (takes out a pair of scissors and cuts a lock of Ana's dark hair) Yes! Muahahahahaha!
Ana: Ok, I'm glad we made up. Ok, I have to go practice with my coach now. I'll see you later.

(Ana and Jelena stops hugging. Ana grabs her tennis equipment and walks out of the lockerroom)

Jelena: (makes a phone call) Hello?
Anastasia Myskina: Hello?
Jelena: (while staring at the strands of Ana's hair that she had cut off) I got that bitch's hair! Now, you show me how to use it to make a voodoo doll of Ivanobitch so that I can cause her misery from anywhere! With her out of the way, I will win every grand slam, reach #1, and Serbia will only remember me!
Anastasia: YES!!! I love making voodoo dolls and causing people misery through dark magic! That's how I won the 2004 French Open over Dementiloser! Anyways, I'll meet you at 1pm!
Jelena: Muahahahahahaha!!!! (hangs up and walks away)

Love this one

Hingis : Myskina : Jankovic

Sharapova, Dementieva, Wozniacki, Azarenka
Tanasugarn, Henin, Zvonareva, Kuznetsova, Date, Kleybanova

The Queen : Navratilova & Seles
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post #5 of 94 (permalink) Old Jun 19th, 2008, 08:00 AM
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Re: LOCKER ROOM CONFRONTATION: Wimbledon

Quote:
Originally Posted by DimaDinosaur View Post
Act 4 Scene 1 (in Wimbledon women's lockerroom)

(Ana Ivanovic is putting her tennis equipment away. Jankovic enters)

Ana: Oh hi Jelena, how are you doing?
Jelena: (walks by her and says nothing)
Ana: Jelena??? Jelena? (taps Jankovic on the shoulder) Are you ok?

Jelena: (breathes deeply and turns around) Oh hi Ana!! I didn't notice you there? How are you?
Ana: Oh my Serbian sister! I missed you so much. You didn't return my calls or text messages after I won the..........
Jelena: Oh........um I got a new phone! Yeah, I lost my other one. Anyways, it's great seeing you and I need to go, bye!
Ana: Wait! Jelena,......you're really talented and someday your dream will come true. I love your sense of humor and personality. You're very funny. Please tell me you're not mad at me in some way about me winning a grand slam and reaching #1. We are still friends right???

Jelena: Oh, of course!! Come here, friend! (grabs Ana close to her and hugs her)
Ana: Awwww!!!! We are such great friends!
Jelena: (takes out a pair of scissors and cuts a lock of Ana's dark hair) Yes! Muahahahahaha!
Ana: Ok, I'm glad we made up. Ok, I have to go practice with my coach now. I'll see you later.

(Ana and Jelena stops hugging. Ana grabs her tennis equipment and walks out of the lockerroom)

Jelena: (makes a phone call) Hello?
Anastasia Myskina: Hello?
Jelena: (while staring at the strands of Ana's hair that she had cut off) I got that bitch's hair! Now, you show me how to use it to make a voodoo doll of Ivanobitch so that I can cause her misery from anywhere! With her out of the way, I will win every grand slam, reach #1, and Serbia will only remember me!
Anastasia: YES!!! I love making voodoo dolls and causing people misery through dark magic! That's how I won the 2004 French Open over Dementiloser! Anyways, I'll meet you at 1pm!
Jelena: Muahahahahahaha!!!! (hangs up and walks away)

And here you are, a black unicorn.
Mythical and mystical since the day that you were born.
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post #6 of 94 (permalink) Old Jun 19th, 2008, 08:07 AM
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Re: LOCKER ROOM CONFRONTATION: Wimbledon


heatherwatson laurarobson

usopen and wimbledon
#219juniorchampions #220

venuswilliams serenawilliams
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post #7 of 94 (permalink) Old Jun 19th, 2008, 09:24 AM
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Re: LOCKER ROOM CONFRONTATION: Wimbledon

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post #8 of 94 (permalink) Old Jun 19th, 2008, 09:47 AM
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Re: LOCKER ROOM CONFRONTATION: Wimbledon


Serena Williams
Vera Zvonareva
Ana Ivanovic


Petra Kvitova - Svetlana Kuznetsova - Li Na - Sloane Stephens - Madison Keys

Will Always Love Kim Clijsters and Elena Dementieva
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post #9 of 94 (permalink) Old Jun 19th, 2008, 10:38 AM
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Re: LOCKER ROOM CONFRONTATION: Wimbledon

Love them

GEWT GURL


TWITTER NAME : https://twitter.com/Mozzawalks
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post #10 of 94 (permalink) Old Jun 19th, 2008, 10:46 AM
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Re: LOCKER ROOM CONFRONTATION: Wimbledon

X 1000000000000000000

◊ Samantha Stosur ◊

◊ Casey Dellacqua ◊ Olivia Rogowska ◊ Monika Wejnert ◊ Jelena Dokic ◊
◊ Laura Robson ◊ Sabine Lisicki ◊ Timea Bacsinszky ◊ Dinara Safina ◊
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post #11 of 94 (permalink) Old Jun 19th, 2008, 11:13 AM
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Re: LOCKER ROOM CONFRONTATION: Wimbledon

They're gold!
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post #12 of 94 (permalink) Old Jun 19th, 2008, 01:20 PM
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Re: LOCKER ROOM CONFRONTATION: Wimbledon

Wimbledon locker room:

JJ is puting her make up, singing : I feel pretty, oh so pretty...
VENUS : Damn bitch, shut up, you're going to wake up my baby sister and then i'm gonna kick your ass
SERENA jumping from her sleep : Ass kicking ? Somebody said ass kicking?
SHARAPOVA : Aaaaaaaah shrieeeek aaaaaaaaaah
ANA : Relax Rena, you are still dreaming, it's all in your head
SERENA : Hell no bitch, there is going to be ass kicking and your ass is going to be kicked
ANA : Oh, my first fight. I'm sooooo excited. Ajdeeeeee
SHARAPOVA : Aaaaaaaah shrieeeek aaaaaaah
JJ : Oh, come on girls, can't we all just get along. Sun is shining, birds are singing and I still feel very pretty
AMELIE : I could get along with you
SVETLANA : I could too, I mean , no I couldn't...Oh crap
VENUS : What a hell are you all smoking
SERENA : I told you so. They are all crazy bitches
DINARA : Oh, you have no idea
SHARAPOVA : Aaaaaaah shrieeeeek aaaaaaaaah
VENUS talking to Serena : We should get the hell out of here while we're still normal.
SERENA : No way, this Wimbledon is mine and no crazy bitches will gonna stop me!
VENUS : Oh, girl, you're out before QFs. I'll be the grass queen again
SHARAPOVA whispers to Serena : Aaaaaaaah shrieeeeek aaaaaaaaah
SERENA : Yeah girl, i know exactly what you mean. She's going down
ANA : Queen ? Did somebody called me ?

(At that moment somewhere in Belgium : Carlos, i don't feel well, i think i'm going to puke )

RADEK enters the locker room : Hey sexy ladies
AAAAAHHHH RADEKKKKK AAAAAAAHHHHH AAAAAAAAAAAA SHRIEEIEEEEEEEK OH MY GOD AAAAAHHHH RADEEEKKKK
Everybody faints. The moment after , Vaidisova enters.
NICOLE : Good boy. My plan is working. In couple of weeks, I'll be the new Wimbledon queen
RADEK : Shall I finish them now my love ?
NICOLE : No. We're taking step by step.
RADEK : But i want to do it now. Let me, let me
NICOLE : Patience my dear, patience
Bartoli enters : OMG, what happened here??
NICOLE : Why aren't you fainting ??? Radek, make her faint for god sake
BARTOLI : Hell no, i ain't gonna faint before i finish that cake I left in my locker
NICOLE : OH NOOOO. She is Radekproof, I am doomed
RADEK : Come on love, don't cry , you still got me
NICOLE : NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Vaidisova runs out of a locker room, Radek chases her.

Everybody starts waking up
SERENA : Ass kicking ? Somebody said ass kicking?
SHARAPOVA : Aaaaaaah shrieeeeek aaaaaaaah
VENUS : What a hell happened
ANA: I have no idea, but ,strangely, I feel sooo excited
DINARA :
JJ : Amelie, could you please get up, your head is on my butt.
AMELIE : That's not my head
SVETLANA : Oh crap
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post #13 of 94 (permalink) Old Jun 19th, 2008, 02:45 PM
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Re: LOCKER ROOM CONFRONTATION: Wimbledon

THe very first post was hilarious. I keep on imagining a ghetto Justine with he rhip-hop dancing.
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post #14 of 94 (permalink) Old Jun 19th, 2008, 02:49 PM
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Re: LOCKER ROOM CONFRONTATION: Wimbledon

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post #15 of 94 (permalink) Old Jun 19th, 2008, 03:08 PM
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Re: LOCKER ROOM CONFRONTATION: Wimbledon

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaBaker View Post
Wimbledon locker room:

JJ is puting her make up, singing : I feel pretty, oh so pretty...
VENUS : Damn bitch, shut up, you're going to wake up my baby sister and then i'm gonna kick your ass
SERENA jumping from her sleep : Ass kicking ? Somebody said ass kicking?
SHARAPOVA : Aaaaaaaah shrieeeek aaaaaaaaaah
ANA : Relax Rena, you are still dreaming, it's all in your head
SERENA : Hell no bitch, there is going to be ass kicking and your ass is going to be kicked
ANA : Oh, my first fight. I'm sooooo excited. Ajdeeeeee
SHARAPOVA : Aaaaaaaah shrieeeek aaaaaaah
JJ : Oh, come on girls, can't we all just get along. Sun is shining, birds are singing and I still feel very pretty
AMELIE : I could get along with you
SVETLANA : I could too, I mean , no I couldn't...Oh crap
VENUS : What a hell are you all smoking
SERENA : I told you so. They are all crazy bitches
DINARA : Oh, you have no idea
SHARAPOVA : Aaaaaaah shrieeeeek aaaaaaaaah
VENUS talking to Serena : We should get the hell out of here while we're still normal.
SERENA : No way, this Wimbledon is mine and no crazy bitches will gonna stop me!
VENUS : Oh, girl, you're out before QFs. I'll be the grass queen again
SHARAPOVA whispers to Serena : Aaaaaaaah shrieeeeek aaaaaaaaah
SERENA : Yeah girl, i know exactly what you mean. She's going down
ANA : Queen ? Did somebody called me ?

(At that moment somewhere in Belgium : Carlos, i don't feel well, i think i'm going to puke )

RADEK enters the locker room : Hey sexy ladies
AAAAAHHHH RADEKKKKK AAAAAAAHHHHH AAAAAAAAAAAA SHRIEEIEEEEEEEK OH MY GOD AAAAAHHHH RADEEEKKKK
Everybody faints. The moment after , Vaidisova enters.
NICOLE : Good boy. My plan is working. In couple of weeks, I'll be the new Wimbledon queen
RADEK : Shall I finish them now my love ?
NICOLE : No. We're taking step by step.
RADEK : But i want to do it now. Let me, let me
NICOLE : Patience my dear, patience
Bartoli enters : OMG, what happened here??
NICOLE : Why aren't you fainting ??? Radek, make her faint for god sake
BARTOLI : Hell no, i ain't gonna faint before i finish that cake I left in my locker
NICOLE : OH NOOOO. She is Radekproof, I am doomed
RADEK : Come on love, don't cry , you still got me
NICOLE : NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Vaidisova runs out of a locker room, Radek chases her.

Everybody starts waking up
SERENA : Ass kicking ? Somebody said ass kicking?
SHARAPOVA : Aaaaaaah shrieeeeek aaaaaaaah
VENUS : What a hell happened
ANA: I have no idea, but ,strangely, I feel sooo excited
DINARA :
JJ : Amelie, could you please get up, your head is on my butt.
AMELIE : That's not my head
SVETLANA : Oh crap
this is funny!!!

QUEEN LINDSAY DAVENPORT

Monica,Kim,Jelena
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