Last day of the Women's Championship at AO...
Serena thrumps down the stairs everything is jiggling..the "Breasts", the "Booties" the two minature trophies one foot long earrings she's had them make replicas of...one arm is holding the Jehovah Bible by S.W. and in the other arm a tray of Big Mac's!
Maria Sharapova is in the far corner on her cell phone.
Serena, "Where is everybody? she roars, "I want to show off my trophy and my special earrings"
Cara Black and Liezel Huber are playing tic, tac toe ...Liezel speaks "Oh, Cara I'm so excited, we're here with these two great champions"
WHACK! Cara hits Liezel with her racquet!
What did you do that for asks Liezel?
Cara, "Because you're just like that namesake clueless asshole who was in the Sound of Music...wake up for f..k's sake! "We're Champions too!
Liezel, "Oh, I forgot!
Serena, "Whatcha up to Maria?
Maria still on her cellphone sitting with a bucket of tears
at her feet..
slams the phone down "Damn Daddy, he's mad at me for losing the championship, he won't talk to me!
Serena, "Funny he's always sending you signals and yaking in the stands Serena snorts
Maria continues "I just want to tell him I received 7 more sponsors today, that should make him happy by the way Serena how many did you get?
Serena, "Er, ah, um..wanna eat a Big Mac Maria
Elena Likhovtseva bounds down the stairs carrying her mixed doubles trophy.
Serena, "Geeze, Elena how the hell did you get that trophy you're as old as Billie Jean King!
Elena, "Not quite Serena"! I know how Cara and Liezel won the doubles
Serena, "How's that?"
Elena, "They won cause they asked Kuzzie to play like crap with Martina Hingis..now they owe her 1000 Russian rubels...
Serena shakes her head, "Jehovah wouldn't like that"
"Hey Serena, what's on your ears?,
"Glad you asked , they are minature replicas of my AO trophy aren't they devine?"
Elena, "Well they are an improvement over those dinner plates you were wearing !
Over in the corner Maria takes a shiny thing out of her purse...
What's that?, askes Serena
Maria, "Oh, I bouught this little tiara after I won the U.S. Open in New York at Tiffany's ..I'm giving it a little polish! I thought I'd be wearing it by now! BTW have you got a rabbit's foot in your purse?
Serena, "No, I've got the champinship earrings, I'm the Queen, don't you forget it, I'm Black, and I'm BAck....my boobs are the biggest, my bootie is the Best..each cheek is bountiful but beautiful...
Cara, I've got to go "BARF.....somewhere...Cara, Yikes, me too
Serena, "Where the hell is Martina Hingis"...
Elena, "She left long ago...she's got to have her poon-tag of course"!
Serena, "She's a nympo if I ever saw one"...
"What about Clijsters..where is she.?..
Elena, "Gone for the same thing"
"Holy crap, sez Serena, Everybody getting their poon-tag but me....letsee now where did Venus put that penis shaped hair dryer... .......
to be continued....(come on Darrin.....