Windows Versions based on Players - TennisForum.com
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post #1 of 63 (permalink) Old Dec 19th, 2006, 10:07 AM Thread Starter
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Windows Versions based on Players

Well its offcial ,I am bored ,and when I am bored it gets dangerous...soooo..
With Windows Vista due for launch I Got to thinking what if Versions of Bills famous software were named after Players..
so here we have some ,bound to cause some offence to some fans ,but its all meant as harmless fun is all..

Windows Serena

Wont fit on your hard drive.
Uses all your Ram.
Says it will boot but 10 secs before the desktop appears ,generates a Run Time Error and shuts off.

Windows Myskina

Pretty much standard Windows but with custom error messages ,such as ...
Fucking Windows has Encountered a fucking error ,and the pissing thing will have to fucking restart ,so sit down and shut the fuck up and wait!

Windows Dementieva

Great Looking
Fast and very powerful
Hopeless for Servers however

Windows Henin-Hardenne

small and compact
efficient
Installs spyware , tracking bots ,key loggers and other sneaky programs that the user is unaware of

Windows Sharapova

Launched among much hype and fanfare
Very Glossy and polished
Slightly one dimensional ,no multi threading here.
Very irratating Start Up sound.

Windows Kuznetsova

Useful OS , quite powerful.
Dated code
No GUI at all ,just a dour looking DOS Prompt



there are a few ,feel free to add more ,please dont get offended by anything ,its tongue in cheek

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Last edited by Dementinator; Dec 19th, 2006 at 03:05 PM.
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post #2 of 63 (permalink) Old Dec 19th, 2006, 10:12 AM
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Re: Wondows Versions based on Players

i liked the one about dementieva and servers

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post #3 of 63 (permalink) Old Dec 19th, 2006, 10:15 AM
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Re: Wondows Versions based on Players

@ Serena and Maria


Anastasia Myskina


Radwanska - S. Williams - V. Williams - Kerber
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post #4 of 63 (permalink) Old Dec 19th, 2006, 10:19 AM
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Re: Wondows Versions based on Players

Windows Navratilova
Classic version, needs constant upgrades.
Uninstallation not included - needs reformatting of computer to "retire" the system.
Suitable for Grandpa and Grandma. Will be confusing for the "X-Generation".

Your sig picture exceeds the 200 pixel height limit.

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post #5 of 63 (permalink) Old Dec 19th, 2006, 10:20 AM
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Re: Wondows Versions based on Players

Windows Myskina

Pretty much standard Windows but with custom error messages ,such as ...
Fucking Windows has Encountered a fucking error ,and the pissing thing will have to fucking restart ,so sit down and shut the fuck up and wait!



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post #6 of 63 (permalink) Old Dec 19th, 2006, 10:26 AM
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Re: Wondows Versions based on Players

Windows Kournikova

Looks great, very popular with males off all ages, makes a blue screen look good, but tends to get distracted by the mention of other operating systems like Enrique Linux and Gucci O/S. Downgraded from full version to add-on.
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post #7 of 63 (permalink) Old Dec 19th, 2006, 11:30 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Wondows Versions based on Players

Windows Petrova

Umm errr , forgot what I was gonna say
Well it works ,gets the job done ,no other info on it at all.

Windows Karatantcheva

Much Heralded and eagerly awaited ,sadly withdrawn from sale due to an infected Kernel and stolen code.
Will return in 2008 with the "Thunderous Edition"

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post #8 of 63 (permalink) Old Dec 19th, 2006, 11:35 AM
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Re: Wondows Versions based on Players

good thread, dementinator i like windows myskina...

This place is too small to put all the players i like here.
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post #9 of 63 (permalink) Old Dec 19th, 2006, 11:37 AM
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Re: Wondows Versions based on Players

Dementieva
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post #10 of 63 (permalink) Old Dec 19th, 2006, 11:38 AM
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Re: Wondows Versions based on Players

all of these are extremely hilliarious. great thread dementinator got anymore?
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post #11 of 63 (permalink) Old Dec 19th, 2006, 11:46 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Wondows Versions based on Players

Windows Davenport

Much Loved OS ,seen the introduction of many new technologies
Slightly unstable at times and prone to VXD and DLL breakdowns
Been Patched many many times
Sadly it has now been retired and despite its failings will be missed

Windows Dokic

Burned brightly for a while ,showed great promise
Dissapeared without a trace
OS/2 warp Anybody?

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post #12 of 63 (permalink) Old Dec 19th, 2006, 11:50 AM
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Re: Wondows Versions based on Players

wonderful descriptions of windows davenport & dokic there just like them
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post #13 of 63 (permalink) Old Dec 19th, 2006, 11:51 AM
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Re: Wondows Versions based on Players

Great thread!
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post #14 of 63 (permalink) Old Dec 19th, 2006, 12:52 PM
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Re: Wondows Versions based on Players

the captain do a Venus and Sprem one

Grassonkova.
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post #15 of 63 (permalink) Old Dec 19th, 2006, 01:01 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Wondows Versions based on Players

Windows Sprem

Another Version that hasnt quite reached expectations.
Briefly Eclipsed some other more popular versions ,but then failed to make big inroads into the market.
Never fails to cause much Hilarity with its name.

Windows Venus.

Bit hit and miss this one, some times it loads fast and zips along making all other versions seem slow and obsolete.
Other times it fails to boot at all and creates so many errors as to be unsusable.
Still one of the fastest systems for servers and Ideal for fashion Concious Desktop fans.
Often in Rivalry with its sister system Windows Serena ,both products were sponsored by other organisations although Windows Venus came out on top ,being sponsored by a Planet ,whereas Windows Serena was sponsored by a Mini Van built by the Nissan Motor Corp.

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