Nine things you always wanted to know about Wimbledon, but were too scared to ask - TennisForum.com

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post #1 of 18 (permalink) Old Jun 8th, 2002, 03:48 PM
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Nine things you always wanted to know about Wimbledon, but were too scared to ask

* Wimbledon is known as The All England Championships (or The Championships), and is played at the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club. No Croquet is played during the tournament fortnight as it is illegal.

* If you tried to line up all the stawberries eaten during tournament, you would be clinically insane and branded a moron. It's a fruitless task.

* The spectators food bar underneath the hill (cruelly dubbed "Henman Hill") near Court One was actually a nuclear bunker built to house players should the threat of war break out. Since the Cold War ended it was redecorated to what it is now, selling over-priced sandwiches.

* Wimbledon is the only place in the world where you must remortgage your house if you want to eat any food sold there.

* During Wimbledon fortnight, to keep the courts in excellent condition, cows are placed on the courts overnight to graze and keep the grass short.

* Match referee Alan Mills is actually a prototype android.

* Any player who doesn't bow to the Royal Box will be shot in the chin.

* During the fortnight, there are enough cables and lighting to cater for a Darren Day musical that would run on and on for twenty years.

* Finally, the amount of profit the LTA make from the Wimbledon fortnight gets pumped straight back into the well being of British Tennis, providing a bright future for the sport in this nation. And if you believe that, you are a total buffoon.
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post #2 of 18 (permalink) Old Jun 8th, 2002, 03:51 PM
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LMAO ...... good ones

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post #3 of 18 (permalink) Old Jun 8th, 2002, 04:53 PM
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LOL.
Very funny, esp. the strawberry one. .
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post #4 of 18 (permalink) Old Jun 8th, 2002, 05:00 PM
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* Finally, the amount of profit the LTA make from the Wimbledon fortnight gets pumped straight back into the well being of British Tennis, providing a bright future for the sport in this nation. And if you believe that, you are a total buffoon.

why does that one make me want to cry ?!

and where they produce desolation, they call it peace
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post #5 of 18 (permalink) Old Jun 8th, 2002, 05:09 PM
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Quote:
* Match referee Alan Mills is actually a prototype android.
and Pete Sampras is his clone...

funny, funny
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post #6 of 18 (permalink) Old Jun 8th, 2002, 05:15 PM
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Are you serious about the cow thing?
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post #7 of 18 (permalink) Old Jun 8th, 2002, 05:21 PM
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Yes TEXAS. Its true.




























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post #8 of 18 (permalink) Old Jun 8th, 2002, 05:27 PM
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He's playing with you, Texas. I've seen it myself. If those are cows, they are the littlest, white, fluffy cows I have ever seen.
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post #9 of 18 (permalink) Old Jun 8th, 2002, 05:34 PM
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haha allright cool.
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post #10 of 18 (permalink) Old Jun 8th, 2002, 05:50 PM
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lol, good once, u couldnt have made 'em all by yourself, or could you

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post #11 of 18 (permalink) Old Jun 8th, 2002, 10:47 PM
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Texas - tut tut

Insanity... yes, indeed this is all my own work I was flicking through an official programme from Wimbledon, and noticed it had all these facts in that you usually get in big events programmes. They are completely useless and made up, like how the hell do they know that all the strawberries lined up would reach Canada or somewhere. Obviously they work it out through how many cans would fit in a mile then multiply it by said distance, but does anyone need to know that? (other than the Strawberry Appreciation Society).

They're all false anyway except the Alan Mills one which may be true. And Bella, you never know, genetic modification has come on leaps and bounds recently!
post #12 of 18 (permalink) Old Jun 8th, 2002, 10:50 PM
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LMAO! esp. Over-priced sarnies/Henman Hill/nuclear bunker one... LOL!!

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post #13 of 18 (permalink) Old Jun 8th, 2002, 10:55 PM
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LMAO

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post #14 of 18 (permalink) Old Jun 9th, 2002, 11:07 AM
 
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Re: Nine things you always wanted to know about Wimbledon, but were too scared to ask

Quote:
Originally posted by JoeyWinson

* Wimbledon is the only place in the world where you must remortgage your house if you want to eat any food sold there.

That is so true.
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post #15 of 18 (permalink) Old Jun 9th, 2002, 11:57 AM
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Quote:
* Match referee Alan Mills is actually a prototype android
I knew there was something funny about him...

Unscrew my head
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