Nine things you always wanted to know about Wimbledon, but were too scared to ask
* Wimbledon is known as The All England Championships (or The Championships), and is played at the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club. No Croquet is played during the tournament fortnight as it is illegal.
* If you tried to line up all the stawberries eaten during tournament, you would be clinically insane and branded a moron. It's a fruitless task.
* The spectators food bar underneath the hill (cruelly dubbed "Henman Hill") near Court One was actually a nuclear bunker built to house players should the threat of war break out. Since the Cold War ended it was redecorated to what it is now, selling over-priced sandwiches.
* Wimbledon is the only place in the world where you must remortgage your house if you want to eat any food sold there.
* During Wimbledon fortnight, to keep the courts in excellent condition, cows are placed on the courts overnight to graze and keep the grass short.
* Match referee Alan Mills is actually a prototype android.
* Any player who doesn't bow to the Royal Box will be shot in the chin.
* During the fortnight, there are enough cables and lighting to cater for a Darren Day musical that would run on and on for twenty years.
* Finally, the amount of profit the LTA make from the Wimbledon fortnight gets pumped straight back into the well being of British Tennis, providing a bright future for the sport in this nation. And if you believe that, you are a total buffoon.