Elena Dementieva's Plan To Conquer The World of Women's Tennis! - TennisForum.com

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post #1 of 24 (permalink) Old Aug 6th, 2006, 06:14 AM Thread Starter
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Exclamation Elena Dementieva's Plan To Conquer The World of Women's Tennis!

At Antwerp this year, you may have remembered a photo shoot where Elena Dementieva was seen making chocolate with an elderly man at a factory, as seen below.



Now, 5 months later, upon reading that numerous WTAWorld.com users had dubbed the Russian as one of the most disappointing players of the year, Dementieva has devised a plan to defeat all her opponents before she steps on the court. After killing off the poor, elderly chocolate making fellow, Elena madly laughed as she added poison to several homemade chocolates which are expected to be passed out at the JPMorgan Chase Open players party!



Dementieva then gleefully flaunted her chocolates as a young child in a candy store would, posing them as regular chocolates. By the time she is through, the five players ranked above her, along with noteable rivals such as Anastasia Myskina, Gisela Dulko, Sandra Kleinova, Julia Schruff, Dinara Safina, Patty Schnyder, Serena Williams, and assorted other WTA stars are expected to be wiped off the planet, leaving Dementieva to the number one ranking poisition!



Elena's first victim is Kim Clijsters.


dementieva + sharapova + bartoli + chakvetadze
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post #2 of 24 (permalink) Old Aug 6th, 2006, 06:16 AM
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You go girl!
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post #3 of 24 (permalink) Old Aug 6th, 2006, 06:16 AM
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I'm loving the last part

Daniela Hantuchova.

Casey Dellacqua, Jelena Jankovic, Anna-Lena Groenefeld,
Jelena Dokic, Mirjana Lucic, Sara Tomic, Sloane Stephens
Melanie Oudin, Kiki Bertens, Kaia Kanepi, Alison Riske
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post #4 of 24 (permalink) Old Aug 6th, 2006, 06:17 AM
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Kill those b*tches




































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post #5 of 24 (permalink) Old Aug 6th, 2006, 06:21 AM
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You are so creative.
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post #6 of 24 (permalink) Old Aug 6th, 2006, 06:40 AM
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post #7 of 24 (permalink) Old Aug 6th, 2006, 06:58 AM
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Dementieva is such a perfect name for her
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post #8 of 24 (permalink) Old Aug 6th, 2006, 03:00 PM
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:death: With Lena, it just seems so true...

Wimbledon:

NO.7: VenusWilliams
NO.6: SerenaWilliams
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post #9 of 24 (permalink) Old Aug 6th, 2006, 04:00 PM
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lol poor kim. Davai elena!!!!!!!!!!!

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post #10 of 24 (permalink) Old Aug 6th, 2006, 04:42 PM
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I don't know why but I just can't imagine it

Swiss champs.
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post #11 of 24 (permalink) Old Aug 6th, 2006, 04:56 PM
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loved it

Gabriela Sabatini 2006 HOF
18 Grand Slam SF´s, Won 27 titles, 1 GS Sin, 1 GS in Dubs,2 Masters
Sabatini vs Martinez ?
Seasons in the top ten: Sabatini 10 Conchita 9
Straight Seasons in the top ten: Sabatini 10 Conchita 6
Seasons in the top 5: Sabatini 6 Conchita 5
Straight seasons in the top 5: Sabatini 6 Conchita 4
Tier II and above titles
Sabatini 24 Martinez 17
Record at the Masters
Sabatini has 2 titles 2 Runner up and 3 SF
Martinez has 0 titles, 0 RU, and 0 Sf
Record against the best players
Sabatini 40% Martinez 21%
Head to Head
Sabatini leads 9-6 over Martinez
FWTT Hard 111(111 + ny)Carpet 104(104 + ny)Clay 107(107 + 4) Grass 100(100 ny)
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post #12 of 24 (permalink) Old Aug 6th, 2006, 05:03 PM
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post #13 of 24 (permalink) Old Aug 6th, 2006, 05:07 PM
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Sweet Belgian chocolate




"I wish I were as aggressive and serious as those floors too!!" - GOAT Cynthia Zimmerman
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post #14 of 24 (permalink) Old Aug 6th, 2006, 05:14 PM
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Just conquer the US Open. Then the world

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter....
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there
Enjoy This Moment!!
HEALTH and HAPPINESS to EVERYONE

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post #15 of 24 (permalink) Old Aug 6th, 2006, 06:25 PM
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Priceless.
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