Vera Z: (Enters locker room)
I can't play Kim in the first round!
JHH: It'zee okay. You can use moi tactiz and pretend to cry before she serves. You know for sure that will work.
Vera Z: But.. but... that is cheating!
JHH: You better zee listen to my command or elze you will not succeed like moi.
Enter Kim Clijsters
Kim: Hi Justine! (Looks aside)
Vera! What happened to you? Are you okay? Umm, umm, do you need some hot tea? I bought some Russian tea last night and you know, it tasted, like, you know very nice and sweet. Please don't cry Vera. Here, let me give you a towel.
Vera Z: Nyet! You have ruined my chances of winning another title.
Kim: Oh... Oh? Is that so? Ummm, you know, I guess I am sorry. I can make it up to you, you know...
Amelie (peers from the corner, unnoticed): Oui!!!
I can definitely be of some help Kim.
Kim: Oh, it's okay. You know, it's my fault and I have to fix her problem. I guess you can help JHH.
Amelie: Sacre Bleu! Non non non! Justine is married to Pierre-Yves who was spotted wearing a hideous blouse on the final of RG. Very fazionable.
JHH: As you know that we have zee power and increasing intensity within ourselves. Everything must be intense. That is how I was taught to grow up. I think Pierre is adopting my intense attitude which is very good for sure. Intense fashion is definitely interesting, we don't know when the fashion is going to fade so we have to be intense.
Kim (comforts Vera Z): Awww Vera, it's okay. It's not like I'm going to you know, give you bagels or breadsticks. I mean, if you'd like some now, you can. I will go run to Krispy Kremes and I buy, you know, as many as you want. But please, stop crying, you know. It makes me sad too. (Kim starts to cry)
Enter Svetlana Kuznetsova
Sveta: (Lets out a loud grunt, winks at Amelie) You know I had very good chances at the French against Justine, but after Vaidisova ate me out (as a promise if she lost to me) I could not run at all. I keep hittting errors forehand here, there. I was just not running, not going for my shots. That is not the way I play you know.
JHH: Allez, but for sure you cannot make excuses. You should have retired just like zee match I played against Amelie. No mas.
Sveta: You know, I tried that against Francesca and she acted like she had conquered the world. I can only imagine you will act worse after your retirement of the match against Amelie.
Amelie: Oui oui! (Amelie grins at Sveta)
Sveta: Okay, I am going to shower now. I feel so hot you know.
Amelie: Allez! Me too
I have been in the corner all day and I need to take a quick shower too.
Sveta enters the shower while Amelie runs towards her
Suddenly Maria Sharapova enters
Maria: Come on! Vamos! (fist pumps) Guess what, girls? I just practiced with my hitting partner and everytime he committed an error, it made me so terribly happy. I think you know my chances at Wimbledon are great.
JHH: But I thought you were zee injured one?
Maria: Well, that was a conspiracy theory set up against everyone - yes everyone. That is the only way I can show the world my expectations far exceed others. After all, I am only NINETEEN!!!
Kim: Aww, but I am still very young and I have, you know, accomplished and won more titles than you. I mean, you can't blame everything towards injuries, you know. Every girl in the tour has to deal with it, like Vera Z, you know, she has a mental injury now.
Maria: Alas, that is the only way I can get more sponsorship and money. I cannot drop below 20 million dollars of endorsements each year or else they are going to think I am a no-brainer.
JHH: Allez! allez! For sure, you are just a poser. I have beaten you the last three times we played. Allez!
Maria: Everyone has, you know, their good days and their bad days. Unfortunately, Justine, that day was not mine.
Alexander Stevenson jumps out of a locker
Alex: Obviously that's because you didn't won. By the way, I won more matches than you have at Wimbledon since I started from qualifying becoming the first ever female player to achieve that feat to the semis. Stop making excuses like that day isn't your day. You act like you have conquered the world when your practice partner has made an error! You know, I am going to (Alex smacks Maria's pussy while grunting).... Okay so is today your day?????? Tell me! Tell me! Go away! Boo! shooo!
Maria runs and reports to Motorola of the incident
JHH: Alex, excuze me, but you cannot be here. You have lost to zee qualifier.
Alex: Oh shut up bitch, don't try pulling off more excuses.
JHH: (rolls her eyes) and says, "No mas!" Zee heartless bitch has now gone. She will never win another match against me, I promise for sure.
Kim: But Justine, that is very evil, you know. Poor Maria. Alex why did you like smack her pussy? I mean, you could have you know, smacked her boobs - Not that she has any anyway
(Kim realizes she is not being nice) Oh my god?! What have I said.... ohh noo... (Kim starts crying together with Vera Z, only harder than her this time)
JHH: I cannot take this anymore. I need to go to zee practice courts. This has been zee most distressing moment of Wimbledon so far. I have had lots of hard emotions throughout my entire life and I don't need another one.
Alex: You bitches, my US open title is just 3 qualifying matches and 7 MD matches away!