Maria is in the locker room when someone with a mask enters.
Maria is terrified, hides behind a broomstick and takes her cell phone.
Maria (to herself): thank god I know now how to use these things...
Maria dials 9-1-1 (ok, it’s probably not 911 in France but who cares…?)
911-lady: Hello, how may I help you?
Maria: I need help! This is Maria Sharapova, the Russian Tennisplayer!
911-lady (annoyed): are you kidding me?
Maria: No, in the name of Yuri, I AM RUSSIAN, not American!
911-lady: what’s the emergency?
Maria: I’m in the locker room and I think Michael Jackson just entered and with his history with children and with me being only 19, you know, I’m scared!
Maria catches a glimpse of the “intruder” and screams
911-lady (shudders): wow, that scream… You are Maria Sharapova!
Maria: Yes! (makes fist pump) Come on, help me!
911-lady: I have a better idea. I’m going to call the betting office and put all my money on your opponent!
Maria: No, that’s not good. Listen: I have so many sponsers, I offer you a 5% discount if you buy a new Nokia-Cellphone!
911-lady: I thought you are sponsered by Motorola?
Maria: (checks the name on her cellphone) Oh crap! That’s why that Andy-Roddick-Game that I downloaded didn’t work!
The intruder with the mask now stands in front of Maria and she realises that it is Martina Hingis.
Maria: What the hell are you doing? What’s with the mask?
Martina: I need oxygen to live!
Maria giggles and hangs up on the 911 lady.
Nadia Petrova entering
Martina: Hi, ähm…. Nuria?
Nadia: Actually, it’s Nadia.
Martina: Are you happy with your draw?
Nadia: The draw is not out yet!
Martina: I thought the draw for Qualies was out!?
Nadia: I’m not in the Qualies…?
Martina: Oh, you received a Wild Card then?
Nadia: ok stupid girl, I am Number 3 in the World!
Martina: Oh… sorry… I’m confused. How comes that I never heard of you then…?
Nadia: You know, I always get the easiest draws so I only play very low ranked players.
Martina: I guess that explains it!
Your whole future depends on your dreams. So don't waste time, go sleeping!