The Roland Garros Locker Room Confrontation Thread - TennisForum.com
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post #1 of 78 (permalink) Old May 24th, 2006, 06:56 AM Thread Starter
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Talking The Roland Garros Locker Room Confrontation Thread

It's the Week before the Grand Slam.

So let's get this started...

Your whole future depends on your dreams. So don't waste time, go sleeping!
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post #2 of 78 (permalink) Old May 24th, 2006, 07:01 AM Thread Starter
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Maria is in the locker room when someone with a mask enters.

Maria is terrified, hides behind a broomstick and takes her cell phone.

Maria (to herself): thank god I know now how to use these things...

Maria dials 9-1-1 (ok, it’s probably not 911 in France but who cares…?)

911-lady: Hello, how may I help you?

Maria: I need help! This is Maria Sharapova, the Russian Tennisplayer!

911-lady (annoyed): are you kidding me?

Maria: No, in the name of Yuri, I AM RUSSIAN, not American!

911-lady: what’s the emergency?

Maria: I’m in the locker room and I think Michael Jackson just entered and with his history with children and with me being only 19, you know, I’m scared!

Maria catches a glimpse of the “intruder” and screams

911-lady (shudders): wow, that scream… You are Maria Sharapova!

Maria: Yes! (makes fist pump) Come on, help me!

911-lady: I have a better idea. I’m going to call the betting office and put all my money on your opponent!

Maria: No, that’s not good. Listen: I have so many sponsers, I offer you a 5% discount if you buy a new Nokia-Cellphone!

911-lady: I thought you are sponsered by Motorola?

Maria: (checks the name on her cellphone) Oh crap! That’s why that Andy-Roddick-Game that I downloaded didn’t work!

The intruder with the mask now stands in front of Maria and she realises that it is Martina Hingis.

Maria: What the hell are you doing? What’s with the mask?

Martina: I need oxygen to live!

Maria giggles and hangs up on the 911 lady.



Nadia Petrova entering



Martina: Hi, ähm…. Nuria?

Nadia: Actually, it’s Nadia.

Martina: Are you happy with your draw?

Nadia: The draw is not out yet!

Martina: I thought the draw for Qualies was out!?

Nadia: I’m not in the Qualies…?

Martina: Oh, you received a Wild Card then?

Nadia: ok stupid girl, I am Number 3 in the World!

Martina: Oh… sorry… I’m confused. How comes that I never heard of you then…?

Nadia: You know, I always get the easiest draws so I only play very low ranked players.

Martina: I guess that explains it!










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post #3 of 78 (permalink) Old May 24th, 2006, 07:05 AM
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post #4 of 78 (permalink) Old May 24th, 2006, 07:13 AM
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hahah good one!!
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post #5 of 78 (permalink) Old May 24th, 2006, 07:13 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bailey
Maria is in the locker room when someone with a mask enters.

Maria is terrified, hides behind a broomstick and takes her cell phone.

Maria (to herself): thank god I know now how to use these things...

Maria dials 9-1-1 (ok, it’s probably not 911 in France but who cares…?)

911-lady: Hello, how may I help you?

Maria: I need help! This is Maria Sharapova, the Russian Tennisplayer!

911-lady (annoyed): are you kidding me?

Maria: No, in the name of Yuri, I AM RUSSIAN, not American!

911-lady: what’s the emergency?

Maria: I’m in the locker room and I think Michael Jackson just entered and with his history with children and with me being only 19, you know, I’m scared!

Maria catches a glimpse of the “intruder” and screams

911-lady (shudders): wow, that scream… You are Maria Sharapova!

Maria: Yes! (makes fist pump) Come on, help me!

911-lady: I have a better idea. I’m going to call the betting office and put all my money on your opponent!

Maria: No, that’s not good. Listen: I have so many sponsers, I offer you a 5% discount if you buy a new Nokia-Cellphone!

911-lady: I thought you are sponsered by Motorola?

Maria: (checks the name on her cellphone) Oh crap! That’s why that Andy-Roddick-Game that I downloaded didn’t work!

The intruder with the mask now stands in front of Maria and she realises that it is Martina Hingis.

Maria: What the hell are you doing? What’s with the mask?

Martina: I need oxygen to live!

Maria giggles and hangs up on the 911 lady.
Loved this!

Quote:
Originally Posted by bailey

Nadia Petrova entering



Martina: Hi, ähm…. Nuria?

Nadia: Actually, it’s Nadia.

Martina: Are you happy with your draw?

Nadia: The draw is not out yet!

Martina: I thought the draw for Qualies was out!?

Nadia: I’m not in the Qualies…?

Martina: Oh, you received a Wild Card then?

Nadia: ok stupid girl, I am Number 3 in the World!

Martina: Oh… sorry… I’m confused. How comes that I never heard of you then…?

Nadia: You know, I always get the easiest draws so I only play very low ranked players.

Martina: I guess that explains it!








But hated this, just a cheap stab at Nadia . We will see who has the last laugh at RG

Hi.
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post #6 of 78 (permalink) Old May 24th, 2006, 07:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Bakers Boy~
Loved this!



But hated this, just a cheap stab at Nadia . We will see who has the last laugh at RG

now, now this thread is all about cheap shots!!

Мари́я Ю́рьевна Шара́пова​ , Јелена Јанковић, Venus Williams.
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post #7 of 78 (permalink) Old May 24th, 2006, 07:22 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bailey
The intruder with the mask now stands in front of Maria and she realises that it is Martina Hingis.

Maria: What the hell are you doing? What’s with the mask?

Martina: I need oxygen to live!
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post #8 of 78 (permalink) Old May 24th, 2006, 07:33 AM
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very good one!

J u s t i n e x p l i c a b l e


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post #9 of 78 (permalink) Old May 24th, 2006, 07:41 AM
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Nice onE! Keep them coming guys!!!

I really love these locker room confrontations!!!

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post #10 of 78 (permalink) Old May 24th, 2006, 07:57 AM
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Doesn'y anyone have one where JHH is in the toilet getting 'sick'?

Мари́я Ю́рьевна Шара́пова​ , Јелена Јанковић, Venus Williams.
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post #11 of 78 (permalink) Old May 24th, 2006, 08:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Bakers Boy~
Loved this!



But hated this, just a cheap stab at Nadia . We will see who has the last laugh at RG

someone has NO sense of humour at all!

Captain of the all new SS Dementieva


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post #12 of 78 (permalink) Old May 24th, 2006, 09:03 AM
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So Funny
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post #13 of 78 (permalink) Old May 24th, 2006, 09:10 AM
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Clever

Especially the Martina Mask part

Why is it that the world never remembered the name of Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-
schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle-dongle-dungle-burstein-von-
knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-
grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein-
nürnburger-bratwustle-gerspurten-mitz-weimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shönedanker-
kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm?
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post #14 of 78 (permalink) Old May 24th, 2006, 09:40 AM
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Thats was awesome!!

Rest In Peace, Elena Baltacha
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post #15 of 78 (permalink) Old May 24th, 2006, 09:43 AM
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lol that was funny

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