firstly - i am no coach and i have no experience in teaching tennis.
i do however want to try out some thoughts that my help you and i think improve the game all-together.
start jugling. three balls is all it takes, and gradually your'e co-operation will improve by it, just ask a friend that knows the basic technique to teach you and try it out - it will help you ball toss, since you'll have to place your throws or else it will be hell on earth
try varying the hight of your jugling as well.
as for the timing problem - it depends on the angles and hight you want to hit the ball, but just ask a friend to come along with you, and just hit serves for 20 minutes or so. try imagining to perfect shot evrytime before you hit, the ball toss with your arm stretched, your right hand bringing up the racket to it's maximum hight (throw high and hit the highest you can!) hitting the ball with accuracy and power, and the ball movement above the net to the spot you want it to hit.
also, try serving big on your first serve - it's just a match and it's your chance to try out things that you just think you can do, so really marat safin the ball, hit the hell out of it so you get the feeling of a full hit in your game. it's also great to hit out the nerves.
hold the raquet as low as you can.
use your body in your serve.
it's not a matter of arm strength - pass you wight on from the back leg in a wave forwards, almost falling - when you feel like your'e gunna have to put a leg forward in order to stabalize yourself, that's when you should have hit the ball.
lastly - remember that your'e supposed to have fun and there is no use in being frustrated from your serve. sometimes it's better, some times it isn't - and if you improve the rest of your'e game you should be able to get along well.
i hope i helped you out - good luck with it, and don't forget to tell us how are you advancing.