Maria a brunette...in 2015!!! - TennisForum.com
 
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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old Apr 5th, 2005, 06:47 PM Thread Starter
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Maria a brunette...in 2015!!!

According to this months tennis magazine she will be.They have an article of what tennis will be over the next 4 decades.Here are some highlights:

2012-Andy Roddick,30,rallies to defeat Austailia's Lleyton Hewitt,31,in the final of the US Open."It's cool,i still had fun out there," Hewitt says afterward"Winning isnt everything,mate".Roddick takes home his 4th US title,remarking"I hope this finally gets me on Late Night with Jim Courier"

2015-With Former tennis great Serena Williams and the rest of the cast from CSI:Paramus watching,Maria Sharapova outlasts Nicole Vaidisova 4-2,4-2,2-4,2-4,4-3 to win the US Open,and its $6.5 million in prize money(!!)."Its just unfortunate," Sharapova says "that there are no companies left for me to endorse" .Its the brunette's(!!)first major since excessive grunting forced her to undergo larynx surgery in 2013(!!)

2045-Martina Navratilova,89,announces for retirement for competitve tennis

Others include(2020) a young American,Jenny Deckard,stunning the field in Miami,to win the NASADAQ-500(LOL),catapulting her to no.18 in the world,making her the only playerin the Top 20 NOT from Eastern Europe or ChINA( )

Also-(2035)During an otherwise routine 3rd win,Sven Johansson wins a point by hitting an unreturnable serve,after the match officals informed him that this feat was once known as an ace(lol),Johansson says"Its a real thrill,ever since we went back to wood racquets(!!),you're lucky to just hold serve"
The rest deal with the mens tour(blah)

Lets make up some,here are two ive made up:

2006-In a complete suprise the Ladies Wimbldedon Championship will be contested by two Qualifiers.Mirjana Lucic,Croatia and Alexandra Stevenson,USA will battle for this prestigious title.The two have completly stunned the field,with Lucic posting a 6/0,6/0 thrashing over worlds no 1 and top seed Maria Sharapova and Stevenson saving 12 match points to defeat no 2 seed and defending champion Serena Williams

2013- In a suprise announcement,to the shock and dismay of millions of fans across the world,Anna Kournikova announces her retirement from professional tennis,though the fact that she hasnt played a competitve match for over 10 yrs remains oblivious to her fans.Anna said "Its been so hard,with my new album,various Red carpets,24 hr pamering and month long retreats to exotic islands,i havent had time to really retire from the game,besisdes i like keeping my fans in suspense".Not to be outdone,moments later,Martina Hingis,offically announces her retirement "Now that Anna is gone,i can sleep easier knowing i will have eclipsed that bitch in atleat one thing".Hingis then scurries off as she has a video shoot to attend,the new single from her latest boyfriend,Latin Pop star Ricky Martin

~Elena Makarova~goddess of tennis
New Breed: Maria,Anastasia Myskina,Nicole,Ana,Tatiana Golovin,Jelena J,Iveta Benesova,Olga Poutchkova,Camille Pin,Maria Kirilenko,Alonya Bondarenko,Meilen Tu,Sania Mirza,Rezai,Ashley H,Tataina Poutchek,Sandra Kloesel,Klara Z,Mirjana Lucic,Dominka Cibulkova,Emauelle Gagliardi,Jelena Kostanic,Iroda,Martina Sucha,Raluca Olaru,Kveta,Marta D,Bethanie,Bychkova

Lilia Osterloh,Viktoriya Kutuzova,Yurika Sema,Anastasia Pivavrova(?),Stanislava Hrozenska,Marie-Eve,Zsofia,Angelika Roesch,Sunitha Rao,Anne Keothavang,Olivia Sanchez,Angela Haynes,Alex S,Jelena Dokic,Rosana De Los Rios,Kristina Brandi,Eva Fislova,Lindsay Lee

Elena Makarova,Anna K, Capriati,Lindsay,Henrieta Nagyova,Anca Barna,Petra Mandula,Jana Kandarr,
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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old Apr 5th, 2005, 06:51 PM
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well, I don't believe 1 word of that

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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old Apr 5th, 2005, 06:54 PM
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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old Apr 5th, 2005, 06:56 PM
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Umm. .. everybody knows that Nav is playing until 2050.

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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old Apr 5th, 2005, 07:00 PM
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Don't they have any pics in the magazine instead? I hate reading stuff when there's pics.
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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old Apr 5th, 2005, 07:34 PM
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That was hillarious . Too bad Ricky Martin's gay ...Maria's surger was just killer ...

Romney/Ryan 2012
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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old Apr 5th, 2005, 09:26 PM
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hmmmmm

Why is it that the world never remembered the name of Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-
schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle-dongle-dungle-burstein-von-
knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-
grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein-
nürnburger-bratwustle-gerspurten-mitz-weimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shönedanker-
kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm?
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old Apr 5th, 2005, 10:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MakarovaFan
.It's the brunette's first major since excessive grunting forced her to undergo larynx surgery in 2013
The entire article was pretty amusing, BUT that line there was hilarious...
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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old Apr 5th, 2005, 10:23 PM
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Your 2006 made me laugh. The best one was safin vs Coria in a great quaterfinal but ESPN showed Maria Sharapova destroying someone from the third round.

Jelena Jankovic
Official Pre Match Hair & Make-Up Artist of the Jelena Clinic


+Serena Williams+Mary Pierce+Christina McHale+
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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old Apr 6th, 2005, 06:53 AM
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post #11 of 13 (permalink) Old Apr 6th, 2005, 06:59 AM
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Oi you have spoilt it for me as I know know what happens in the future.

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Present faves in no order: Shahar Peer, Heather Watson, Anne Keothavong, Venus Williams, Serena Williams, Sabine Lisicki, Petra Kvitova, Jelena Jankovic, Maria Sharapova, Daniela Hantouchova

Missing: Anna Kournikova, Nicole Vaidisova, Amanda Coezter, Lindsay Davenport (though see her as BBC Wimbledon pundit these days), Monica Seles!
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post #12 of 13 (permalink) Old Apr 6th, 2005, 09:00 AM
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Very interesting... I might hold them to their word!

Natasha Khan - Tatiana Perebiynis - Lucie Safarova - Kelly Liggan - Maria Sharapova - Andrea Petkovic - Anna Smith - Jie Zheng - Jelena Dokic - Francesca Schiavone - Kim Clijsters - Tamira Paszek - Iveta Benesova - Cara Black - Jane O'Donoghue - Alicia Molik - Elena Bovina - Emily Webley-Smith - Emma Laine - Casey Dellacqua - Patty Schnyder - Carly Gullickson - Caroline Wozniacki - Jennifer Russell - Jelena Jankovic - Trudi Musgrave - Nicole Vaidisova - Anna Chakvetadze - Pemra Ozgen - Shuai Peng - Bryanne Stewart - Alexandra Stevenson - Abigail Spears - Sania Mirza - Irina Bulykina - Tatiana Golovin - Jill Craybas - Bethanie Mattek


Anastassia Rodionova
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post #13 of 13 (permalink) Old Apr 6th, 2005, 09:13 AM
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cute!
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