Mary Carillo gives head - TennisForum.com
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post #1 of 20 (permalink) Old Jan 21st, 2005, 06:45 PM Thread Starter
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Mary Carillo gives head

First and foremost, may I explain to my European fans that head is slang for advice - here in the USA.Itís nothing at all to do with the racquet. Well I hope thatís that cleared up!

Itís plain as the nose on your face that many of you love to speculate on the sport of tennis. Many have never played the game professionally, nor for recreation. But this should not repel you from reading my fascinating and attentive opinion on the sport of tennis. For those of you who have taken a racquet in your hand and took a swing, help is at hand.
With all my extensive wealth of experience and knowledge, I will be providing you an opinion on how to improve your game. (FREE of charge).
Do you have a problem with your, SERVE, BACKHAND, FOREHAND, GRIP, or you just ainít sure what equipment to use? Well now all your tennis dilemma are at an and - help is at hand. So donít be self-conscious or embarrassed, just ask and Mary will assist!
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post #2 of 20 (permalink) Old Jan 21st, 2005, 06:52 PM
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WE LOve U Mary CARILLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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post #3 of 20 (permalink) Old Jan 21st, 2005, 06:55 PM
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Okay, Mary, here's one for you: John McEnroe is coming to town for a Legends Exhibition in about a month and a half. What's the best way to get him to agree to play mixed doubles with a repressed homosexual?

There is nothing more beautiful than Evonne Goolagong in full flight moving across a tennis court.
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post #4 of 20 (permalink) Old Jan 21st, 2005, 07:04 PM Thread Starter
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Advice I have in plenty. As for miracles see Steffi, sheís the one who can walk on water!!
Quite frankly I do not foresee any difficulty with Johnny Mac playing a mixed doubles match concerning Brad Gilbert!!
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post #5 of 20 (permalink) Old Jan 21st, 2005, 07:26 PM
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There is nothing more beautiful than Evonne Goolagong in full flight moving across a tennis court.
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post #6 of 20 (permalink) Old Jan 21st, 2005, 07:35 PM
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Mary, you slut!
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post #7 of 20 (permalink) Old Jan 21st, 2005, 07:38 PM
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Mary I want to know how one develops such a "unique" voice for tennis commentating like you have.

Being a 2 time Emmy winning actress, I'm good at dialects and accents but I can't seem to get my voice low enough to emulate you.

Blowing out someone else's candle does not make yours shine brighter.
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post #8 of 20 (permalink) Old Jan 21st, 2005, 07:47 PM
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One of the first things they look for on the resume when someone is applying to be a female sportscaster is how many years they spent training how to be a girly-fella.

There is nothing more beautiful than Evonne Goolagong in full flight moving across a tennis court.
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post #9 of 20 (permalink) Old Jan 21st, 2005, 08:01 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alfajeffster
One of the first things they look for on the resume when someone is applying to be a female sportscaster is how many years they spent training how to be a girly-fella.

I cannot believe you made such a comment!! My father told me a story concerning my birth, on this very subject matter!! Do you know, when my mother had just gave birth, the doctor came in and said.......

Doctor -"I have to tell you something about your baby."

Mrs Carillo - "What's wrong with my baby, Doctor? What's wrong?"

Doctor - "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit different. Your baby is a hermaphrodite."

Mrs Carillo - "A hermaphrodite... what's that?"

Doctor - "Well, it means your baby has the... er... features... of a male and a female."

Mrs Carillo - "Oh my god! You mean it has a penis... AND a brain?"
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post #10 of 20 (permalink) Old Jan 21st, 2005, 08:08 PM
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"Mary Carillo gives head" I'm falling off my chair :rofl: Mary, I have a very important question to ask you: does size really matter? I mean, how long can the grip be, to satisfy my desire to play good, hot, sweaty tennis?
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post #11 of 20 (permalink) Old Jan 21st, 2005, 08:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Carillo
I cannot believe you made such a comment!! My father told me a story concerning my birth, on this very subject matter!! Do you know, when my mother had just gave birth, the doctor came in and said.......

Doctor -"I have to tell you something about your baby."

Mrs Carillo - "What's wrong with my baby, Doctor? What's wrong?"

Doctor - "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit different. Your baby is a hermaphrodite."

Mrs Carillo - "A hermaphrodite... what's that?"

Doctor - "Well, it means your baby has the... er... features... of a male and a female."

Mrs Carillo - "Oh my god! You mean it has a penis... AND a brain?"
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

That was simply divining (rod)!

There is nothing more beautiful than Evonne Goolagong in full flight moving across a tennis court.
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post #12 of 20 (permalink) Old Jan 21st, 2005, 08:12 PM
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"a penis ...and a brain" oh stop!!! please!!
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post #13 of 20 (permalink) Old Jan 21st, 2005, 08:16 PM
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Mary's a city gurl but she sure knows how to do that good-ole-down-home-on-the-farm accent dont she.
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post #14 of 20 (permalink) Old Jan 21st, 2005, 08:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by soos n the sis
"a penis ...and a brain" oh stop!!! please!!
It sure beats thinking through the seat of your pants, don't it?

There is nothing more beautiful than Evonne Goolagong in full flight moving across a tennis court.
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post #15 of 20 (permalink) Old Jan 21st, 2005, 08:44 PM
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hmmm, for your information, alfajeffster, I'm a 16 year old girl. I'm the one with the brain. you misunderstood
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