Be it Eid, Hanukkah or Christmas, most religious traditons have a festival around this time of year where gifts are offered. Here are some ideas about gifts for some of the stars of yesterday and today (NB all tongue in cheek):
Vera Z - a silk handkerchief (for all those tears)
Momo - a bottle of whiskey (to steady her nerves)
Justine - antibiotics that work and a pair of false boobies
Lena D. - a serve
Serena - a plan B
Venus - a new backhand
Kim - a backhand and a better taste in men
Sveta - a new set of teeth
Alexandra Stevenson - a gag
Lindsay - a personality
Jen - a trophy (her cupboard's empty this year)
Jelena D - a new father
Billie Jean King - a year's subsciption to weightwatchers
Iva - a year's stay at the Betty Ford Clinic
Anna K - a chastity belt or one stocking (to put both legs in).
Nastya - some colour in her face.
Tracy Austin - a mind of her own.
Martina Hingis - a new direction in her life.
Melanie Molitor - a new hairdresser.
Richard Williams - some humility
Yuri Sharapov - a lot of humility