Seasonal Gifts for the Players - TennisForum.com
 
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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old Nov 16th, 2004, 05:50 PM Thread Starter
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Seasonal Gifts for the Players

Be it Eid, Hanukkah or Christmas, most religious traditons have a festival around this time of year where gifts are offered. Here are some ideas about gifts for some of the stars of yesterday and today (NB all tongue in cheek):

Vera Z - a silk handkerchief (for all those tears)
Momo - a bottle of whiskey (to steady her nerves)
Justine - antibiotics that work and a pair of false boobies
Lena D. - a serve
Serena - a plan B
Venus - a new backhand
Kim - a backhand and a better taste in men
Sveta - a new set of teeth
Alexandra Stevenson - a gag
Lindsay - a personality
Jen - a trophy (her cupboard's empty this year)
Jelena D - a new father
Billie Jean King - a year's subsciption to weightwatchers
Iva - a year's stay at the Betty Ford Clinic
Anna K - a chastity belt or one stocking (to put both legs in).
Nastya - some colour in her face.
Tracy Austin - a mind of her own.
Martina Hingis - a new direction in her life.
Melanie Molitor - a new hairdresser.
Richard Williams - some humility
Yuri Sharapov - a lot of humility


Other ideas/suggestions?

Traits Gandhi considered the most spiritually perilous to humanity.
*Wealth without Work * Pleasure without Conscience

*Science without Humanity *Knowledge without Character

*Politics without Principle *Commerce without Morality

*Worship without Sacrifice
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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old Nov 16th, 2004, 06:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Andy T
Be it Eid, Hanukkah or Christmas, most religious traditons have a festival around this time of year where gifts are offered. Here are some ideas about gifts for some of the stars of yesterday and today (NB all tongue in cheek):

Vera Z - a silk handkerchief (for all those tears)
Momo - a bottle of whiskey (to steady her nerves)
Justine - antibiotics that work and a pair of false boobies
Lena D. - a serve
Serena - a plan B
Venus - a new backhand
Kim - a backhand and a better taste in men
Sveta - a new set of teeth
Alexandra Stevenson - a gag
Lindsay - a personality
Jen - a trophy (her cupboard's empty this year)
Jelena D - a new father
Billie Jean King - a year's subsciption to weightwatchers
Iva - a year's stay at the Betty Ford Clinic
Anna K - a chastity belt or one stocking (to put both legs in).
Nastya - some colour in her face.
Tracy Austin - a mind of her own.
Martina Hingis - a new direction in her life.
Melanie Molitor - a new hairdresser.
Richard Williams - some humility
Yuri Sharapov - a lot of humility


Other ideas/suggestions?
Cute idea Andy, but I hate to break the news to you- Billie Jean King looks terrific right now. I just saw her last week at the Advanta Championships, and she actually took off her jacket and was sporting a sleevless blouse- and she looked better than I've seen her in years. I couldn't believe it, really. You could stand her next to Rosie Casals and you wouldn't recognize the two from what you may remember them looking like in their doubles heydey.

There is nothing more beautiful than Evonne Goolagong in full flight moving across a tennis court.
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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old Nov 16th, 2004, 06:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Andy T
Venus - a new backhand
Kim - a backhand and a better taste in men
Did you mean forehands?
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