24 Hour Jennifer Capriati TV Network to Debut next year! - TennisForum.com

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 39 (permalink) Old Oct 4th, 2004, 12:48 AM Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
JennyS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: A galaxy far far Away
Posts: 2,960
                     
24 Hour Jennifer Capriati TV Network to Debut next year!

24 Hour Jennifer Capriati TV Network to Debut next year
by Ivanna Bea Ann Oscar Meyer Weiner

Beginning next year, television audiences will get the opportunity to watch Jennifer Capriati 24-7. The new network, called ESPJen will give fans the chance to see the Capster at her best, her worst and her weirdest.

The 28 year-old Floridian, who possesses the knack to entertain some while simultaneously pissing others off, will be featured in several original programs for the network. ESPJen will also air several classic matches from Capriati's career.

Among the programs that the network will include are:
-Classic Jen matches
-Classic Jen press conferences (for comedic value)
-Classic Jen bloopers
-Classic Jen tantrums
-A Reality Show Starring Jen
-An instructional show hosted by Jen called, "how to play tennis without being a robot."
-A comedy series starring Jen's funniest fans making jokes about her and women's tennis
-An instructional show hosted by Stefano
-A reality show about Steven Capriati and his cult following
-A variety show starring Jen making fun of women's tennis and answering questions from audience members

The network is being funded by Matthew Perry, Jeopardy contestant Ken Jennings, Pam Shriver and Capriati herself. "People have said I'm, like really interesting, so now they have the chance to be entertained."

Shriver said, "Capriati is such an inspirational person to so many people for being so real and human. I think because of this, people will enjoy seeing Jen 365 days a year."

While ESPJen's investors are excited about the lauch of the network, many tennis insiders have a more cynical view.

"I have never seen a tennis player more hungry for the spotlight and for media attention than Capriati. That's why she's starting this network," said Sports Illustrated writer Jon Wertheim, who recently began writing a book called "Why Capriati Always Hates Media Attention and Being in the Spotlight."

Legendary Tennis Player Billie Jean King said, "Why the hell would anyone want to watch Jen, when she won only three Slams?! I won a million more than she did! Why not start the Billie Jean King Channel instead? I AM women's tennis!!!!!!!"

Arizona Republic writer Dan Bickley replied, "Capriati has become nothing more than scar tissue and cold ambition. Whatever that means."

While some do not believe the network will be a success, Capriati believes it will be worth a try. "I'm creating this network for my fans. I think they deserve it. If someone doesn't like me, then they don't have to fucking subcribe to it!"

Last edited by JennyS; Oct 4th, 2004 at 12:00 PM.
JennyS is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 39 (permalink) Old Oct 4th, 2004, 12:58 AM
YOU'RE WELCOME!
 
Snuffkin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Florida with my baguette
Posts: 6,880
                     
Obviously.

I mean, isn't everything you read, true?


I've never been to Cuba
Snuffkin is offline  
post #3 of 39 (permalink) Old Oct 4th, 2004, 01:04 AM
Senior Member
 
faste5683's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: USA
Posts: 1,975
                     


Fantastic!!


There's a bit of Justine in all of us.


"The great thing about Henin and Federer is that each of them is a beautiful player and a superior competitor, so the divide is effectively bridged. Have there ever been a pair of No. 1 players who so fully represent the abundantly gifted as well as the fully-ripened competitor?"
faste5683 is offline  
post #4 of 39 (permalink) Old Oct 4th, 2004, 01:08 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Neuchâtel
Posts: 11,064
                     
where is the headline "ATTENTION**********IMPORTANT*********NEWSWEEK "??

i expect more trish101. capriati couldn't possible have more than one poster with less time on their hands so i have to presume it's the same poster
switz is offline  
post #5 of 39 (permalink) Old Oct 4th, 2004, 01:15 AM Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
JennyS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: A galaxy far far Away
Posts: 2,960
                     
I am NOT Trish. Our styles are completely different. Writing is a hobby of mine and I enjoy writing comedy.
JennyS is offline  
post #6 of 39 (permalink) Old Oct 4th, 2004, 01:17 AM Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
JennyS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: A galaxy far far Away
Posts: 2,960
                     
Quote:
Originally Posted by Law and order
No it's not real because the author does not know when to use the word "than" and "then".
Damn, I guess I wasted my parent's money on that damn English degree since I can't even use correct grammar. I guess I should have proof read it first. Okay, it's corrected now.
JennyS is offline  
post #7 of 39 (permalink) Old Oct 4th, 2004, 01:18 AM
Team WTAworld
Senior Member
 
Martian Willow's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Below the stars.
Posts: 6,695
                     
Quote:
Originally Posted by JennyS
I am NOT Trish. Our styles are completely different. Writing is a hobby of mine and I enjoy writing comedy.
Can you post some?
Martian Willow is offline  
post #8 of 39 (permalink) Old Oct 4th, 2004, 01:20 AM
Senior Member
 
Berlin_Calling's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Monaco
Posts: 6,966
                     
Quote:
Originally Posted by Willow
Can you post some?

azarenka - pavlyuchenkova - li - jankovic
garcia - bencic - paszek - rus - kanepi - kuznetsova - stephens
bouchard - karatantcheva - larcher de brito - voegele - lim - mladenovic

mary pierce - forever #1
vaidisova - kournikova - golovin - henin
the boys - federer - gasquet - del potro - haase - nishikori
Berlin_Calling is offline  
post #9 of 39 (permalink) Old Oct 4th, 2004, 01:26 AM Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
JennyS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: A galaxy far far Away
Posts: 2,960
                     
You guys are right. There is no room for threads like this in GM. It's not in the same league as "Which player has the prettiest navel?" and "Which player is the most obnoxious bitch?" It's much more enjoyable to read 200 post threads of bickering than to read my articles.

Seriously, I don't need your approval to know that I am funny. I have my family, friends and co-workers in stitches all the time.
JennyS is offline  
post #10 of 39 (permalink) Old Oct 4th, 2004, 01:37 AM
Senior Member
 
~ The Leopard ~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Kissing my little Lolita
Posts: 13,105
                     
Which player does have the prettiest navel? Anna K?

Vin, kvinder og sang
~ The Leopard ~ is offline  
post #11 of 39 (permalink) Old Oct 4th, 2004, 01:48 AM
 
harloo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Wonderland Arts Society
Posts: 18,925
                     
not funny at all!

Quote:
Originally Posted by AcesHigh
I'll say this in public once. I miss serena so much. Fed is my favorite player but no one does it like her.

harloo is offline  
post #12 of 39 (permalink) Old Oct 4th, 2004, 02:27 AM
Senior Member
 
urklerlay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 975
                     
That was great...double thumbs up!! except that last jcap quote should have had a couple of "ya know"s in there.

"The fifth set has nothing to do with tennis, it is all about heart." --Boris Becker

Twitter
2013 US OPEN
Flickr
urklerlay is offline  
post #13 of 39 (permalink) Old Oct 4th, 2004, 02:32 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 26,037
                     
.
GoDominique is offline  
post #14 of 39 (permalink) Old Oct 4th, 2004, 02:36 AM
Team WTAworld
Senior Member
 
PointBlank's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Nine-Oh-One.
Posts: 16,154
                     
Quote:
Originally Posted by JennyS
24 Hour Jennifer Capriati TV Network to Debut next year
by Ivanna Bea Ann Oscar Meyer Weiner

fuck.
PointBlank is offline  
post #15 of 39 (permalink) Old Oct 4th, 2004, 03:30 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Neuchâtel
Posts: 11,064
                     
Quote:
Originally Posted by Willow
Can you post some?


i dom't know the relevance of that face but i like it
switz is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the TennisForum.com forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome