Re: OFFICIAL Retirements - 2017
26 min ·
We are so loving Australia. This was always my ideal ending to my pro tennis career, finishing in Australia. We love this city, we love the people and we love the weather. We made it all this way, 2.5 years after competing in my last Grand Slam, Wimbledon, here we are. My intention that this is my last Grand Slam I will be playing in...
I have enjoyed the competing, but it comes with a price. Traveling with two little ones is not easy. They like a routine. They are used to their toys, surroundings, activities and mommy.
Yesterday was Tony's birthday. I did not have time to buy him anything.(Between being mom, laundry, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, paying bills, managing our businesses and being a tennis player) We left the apartment at 9am for the courts and I came home at 5:30pm. Tony is coaching two other players and only came home to 7pm.
That's the entire day without seeing my kids. I already felt bad that Tony's bday wasn't a special day, but now I felt guilty for not being with my kids all day. To find out about a terrible occurrance here in Melbourne where a crazy guy killed at least 3 people and 30 more hospitalised when he drove his car into pedestrians... The site of this being a two minute walk from our apartment.
It could've been us. The weather was overcast and rainy in the morning, so I told the nannies to play inside. I have a million thoughts running through my head. I realize my tennis career is done...
I am a person that likes to be a 10. I like to give a 10. Always. I can't expect to be a 10 with all my responsibilities and do my job the best it can be done and be the best mother/wife I can be. It is not tiring. It is exhausting, but you would never be able to tell when you see me. That's not the part that gets me. What gets me, is the guilt.
If I decide to play Indian Wells and Miami, it will be last tournaments as pro tennis player. If I don't, then this Australian Open will be. It's not sadness, it's reality. I want to feel settled and in a routine. Kids like a routine and I function much better in a routine too.
Today I pray for the people who lost loved ones yesterday. We don't have problems, they have it much worse. In my own life I pray for our future and whatever that holds. I also pray my kids to have the best mommy they deserve. We will try to celebrate Tony's birthday today.
I also want to thank everyone who has been a supporter of my tennis career new and old. Without every encouraging word in good and bad times, I wouldn't be where I am today. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I look forward to competing in the mixed doubles tomorrow. I will give it my all.
Thank you also for the best little family I could ask for. Love you Tony Huber, Joshua and Benjamin.
But I, being poor, have only my dreams
I have spread my dreams under your feet
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams