Queer Eye for the tennis elite - TennisForum.com
 
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post #1 of 14 (permalink) Old May 13th, 2004, 05:34 AM Thread Starter
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Queer Eye for the tennis elite

You don't have to be Queer to play, but wondering what you would change on some of your favorite players:

My changes:

Serena: Lose the Athens dress. I would put her in red. Also like her in black. The pink is nice to. She has a great figure and lots of choices.
I would not pick the tops that show alot of her clevage, (as she needs support) , (would save the low cut stuff for her evening wear).

Jennifer: She lost the Wonder woman pajamas at the U.S. Open (probably did a wonder spin and chucked in the trash after seeing pics), and I like what she has been wearing lately. Like her best in red. The orange is nice as well.

Justine: Her current tennis garb looks like a star ship uniform. Seems to have shoulder pads and is not flattering. I like the short tennis skirt on her, but would pick a different top. Those stripes are also a bad choice in my opinion.

Venus: Not crazy about the green on her, but is is o.k. I would like to put her in some tennis shorts with a nice top that gives her balance.

My best dressed award goes to Lindsay Davenport. She keeps it simple, yet her clothes flatter her figure. I also like Amelie's choices.


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post #2 of 14 (permalink) Old May 13th, 2004, 06:24 AM
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Serena: I agree...lose the futuristic space dress! I love the Headband with Serena on it though. I think she looked best at the AO 03.

Venus: I kinda like the green...it gives Venus this funkyness that she should really dabble with more often. She's usually always so classy in her dress, i like the change.

Amelie's okay but that blue nike clone outfit from last year SUCKED.

Marat: more black.
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post #3 of 14 (permalink) Old May 13th, 2004, 09:00 AM
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Great thread! Let's have more advice.

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post #4 of 14 (permalink) Old May 13th, 2004, 04:40 PM
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I would suggest that the ladies w/flat asses hit the gymn and do sum squats, nothing makes a skirt look nice like a round booty.

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post #5 of 14 (permalink) Old May 13th, 2004, 04:51 PM
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anna and elena don't have flat asses

Serena: lose the dress i would like to see her in blue (ala USO 01) again. that dress was DA BOMB love the headband idea though.....with the white, it looks cute, but make the shorts less hot pantish, and i would like to see you in short shorts rather than short cycling shorts

Venus: lose the girl scout look. the skirt's colour is cute, but the pattern is not. sorry. you look nice in green and white though.

Henin: i agree with you here

Jennifer: PLEASE, too much red in the past 3 years, mix it up baby!
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post #6 of 14 (permalink) Old May 13th, 2004, 04:54 PM
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Amelie's skirts really show off her ass...

Lindsay does keep it simple, and she looks really good in white and blue.

Venus' green is NOT flattering...

Serena is just WAY over the top. She's got the body for it, but is it all really necessary.

I always wished that Monica would dress better on court.

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post #7 of 14 (permalink) Old May 13th, 2004, 04:55 PM
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Haaaaaaaa. They did this thread on one of the figure skating boards that I read
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post #8 of 14 (permalink) Old May 13th, 2004, 05:04 PM
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Kim dont have a flat bum!, she has a nice ass!

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post #9 of 14 (permalink) Old May 13th, 2004, 05:50 PM
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Serena: The dress has got to go. I'm not sure if you're going to Thunderdome with Mad Max or if you're an extra in Troy but it is a hot, fiery mess. The two piece is great and simple but camel toe is a problem. You need to make the fit looser damn near everywhere on the shorts. I like the red version even though you wear it sporadically for some reason...

Venus: Where are my thin mints, bitch?!?!!!! I ordered 6 boxes. 2 dosidos, 3 thin mints and 1 samoa. WTF do I have 3 dosidos, 1 thin mint and 2 samoas? You tryna cheat me after I've been such a good customer? Man, this is the last time I order cookies from a damn tennis player! [mutter]got all dat damn money and endorsements and can't keep my damn order straight[/mutter]

Sharapova: Your wimby dress looks promising but for the love of sliced bread I'll be glad when the atrocity known as the "Kriss Kross- Jump/I Missed The Bus/This was so trendy in '92 but it's 2004" styled top is finally on the clearance rack at niketown. I guess nike designers wanted to outdo the shower curtain from USO '02. They unfortunately succeeded.

Kimmeke: Ok... you seem to have an affinity for the sleeveless or tank deal. It works well for you. You have an onion, not as big as Serena's, but yeah, it's big. I'd like to see something different. Your fed cup outfits seem to be more interesting than what you wear on court. With the exception of the AO '04 outfit which I loooooooved. I hope you come out with something new and hopefully Jennifer won't have the same outfit although I think it will be.

Jenny: You have a new coach so it's time for a new color. Red is exciting... red is great but gotdamn you are starting to look like the koolaid mascot. Stop the insanity!

Silvia: Where to begin... that caesar hairstyle has got to go! Glad you kept your locks but damn at your bangs! WHOA. Are you a nurse's assistant? Because I swear you could just put on those nurse moccassins after one of your matches and hit the ICU, STAT!

And trust me, I am not done.

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post #10 of 14 (permalink) Old May 13th, 2004, 06:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bezz
Kim dont have a flat bum
Yes she does...his name is Llayton...

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post #11 of 14 (permalink) Old May 13th, 2004, 06:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rokkstarr


Serena: The dress has got to go. I'm not sure if you're going to Thunderdome with Mad Max or if you're an extra in Troy but it is a hot, fiery mess. The two piece is great and simple but camel toe is a problem. You need to make the fit looser damn near everywhere on the shorts. I like the red version even though you wear it sporadically for some reason...

Venus: Where are my thin mints, bitch?!?!!!! I ordered 6 boxes. 2 dosidos, 3 thin mints and 1 samoa. WTF do I have 3 dosidos, 1 thin mint and 2 samoas? You tryna cheat me after I've been such a good customer? Man, this is the last time I order cookies from a damn tennis player! [mutter]got all dat damn money and endorsements and can't keep my damn order straight[/mutter]

Sharapova: Your wimby dress looks promising but for the love of sliced bread I'll be glad when the atrocity known as the "Kriss Kross- Jump/I Missed The Bus/This was so trendy in '92 but it's 2004" styled top is finally on the clearance rack at niketown. I guess nike designers wanted to outdo the shower curtain from USO '02. They unfortunately succeeded.

Kimmeke: Ok... you seem to have an affinity for the sleeveless or tank deal. It works well for you. You have an onion, not as big as Serena's, but yeah, it's big. I'd like to see something different. Your fed cup outfits seem to be more interesting than what you wear on court. With the exception of the AO '04 outfit which I loooooooved. I hope you come out with something new and hopefully Jennifer won't have the same outfit although I think it will be.

Jenny: You have a new coach so it's time for a new color. Red is exciting... red is great but gotdamn you are starting to look like the koolaid mascot. Stop the insanity!

Silvia: Where to begin... that caesar hairstyle has got to go! Glad you kept your locks but damn at your bangs! WHOA. Are you a nurse's assistant? Because I swear you could just put on those nurse moccassins after one of your matches and hit the ICU, STAT!

And trust me, I am not done.
YOU ARE STOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDD

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post #12 of 14 (permalink) Old May 13th, 2004, 07:01 PM
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post #13 of 14 (permalink) Old May 13th, 2004, 07:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rokkstarr


Serena: The dress has got to go. I'm not sure if you're going to Thunderdome with Mad Max or if you're an extra in Troy but it is a hot, fiery mess. The two piece is great and simple but camel toe is a problem. You need to make the fit looser damn near everywhere on the shorts. I like the red version even though you wear it sporadically for some reason...

Venus: Where are my thin mints, bitch?!?!!!! I ordered 6 boxes. 2 dosidos, 3 thin mints and 1 samoa. WTF do I have 3 dosidos, 1 thin mint and 2 samoas? You tryna cheat me after I've been such a good customer? Man, this is the last time I order cookies from a damn tennis player! [mutter]got all dat damn money and endorsements and can't keep my damn order straight[/mutter]

Sharapova: Your wimby dress looks promising but for the love of sliced bread I'll be glad when the atrocity known as the "Kriss Kross- Jump/I Missed The Bus/This was so trendy in '92 but it's 2004" styled top is finally on the clearance rack at niketown. I guess nike designers wanted to outdo the shower curtain from USO '02. They unfortunately succeeded.

Kimmeke: Ok... you seem to have an affinity for the sleeveless or tank deal. It works well for you. You have an onion, not as big as Serena's, but yeah, it's big. I'd like to see something different. Your fed cup outfits seem to be more interesting than what you wear on court. With the exception of the AO '04 outfit which I loooooooved. I hope you come out with something new and hopefully Jennifer won't have the same outfit although I think it will be.

Jenny: You have a new coach so it's time for a new color. Red is exciting... red is great but gotdamn you are starting to look like the koolaid mascot. Stop the insanity!

Silvia: Where to begin... that caesar hairstyle has got to go! Glad you kept your locks but damn at your bangs! WHOA. Are you a nurse's assistant? Because I swear you could just put on those nurse moccassins after one of your matches and hit the ICU, STAT!

And trust me, I am not done.
You have no sense @ all.

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post #14 of 14 (permalink) Old May 13th, 2004, 08:14 PM Thread Starter
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. Some good responses. Maybe the players will take some of the advice, (except for the playing in the nude).
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