Locker room confrontations ...one more time - TennisForum.com
 
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old Feb 21st, 2004, 04:53 PM Thread Starter
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Locker room confrontations ...one more time

Mauresmo descends the locker room stairs with a female trainer in hot pursuit
"Sacre bleu", says Momo "what's with the ambulance outside with le lights flashing and le sirens blasting"? "Who is hurt now"?
Venus is in the corner applying some last touches to her glittery nail polish "Thats for me, Momo, I'll get my things together!"
Serena gives Vee a stare "What did you hurt now?"
Vee - "I have a hernia", it happened when I lifted my cosmetic bag (filled with 6 spray cans, 3 glue guns, 4 lbs. of glitter, 5 lbs. of sequins and 450 multi-colored knee bandages)

Serena sitting alongside Vee with her leg in a cast "Well, don't be long. I don't want to face that little lying bitch at RG alone, in fact I think I'll throw my match (if we meet) so you can meet that cheating Belgian witch!"
Jingle, jangle..Martina Hingis clomps down the stairs with her spurs jangling!!
"What the f--- are you doing with a riding outfit on"? asks Jen (who is receiving a massage for her back from a nubian slave)
MH - "Oh! I just finished a jumping competition, I placed first"!
Jen - "No, surprise there, jumping was always your best sport"!!
Martina shows her broadcasting mike WRFTDB (Women retired from tennis doing broadcasting) "Who wants to be interviewed first"?
Anna K. then appears in her SI bathing suit
MH - "Anna, why are you parading around in your bathing suit"?
Anna - "Hi Marti, I'm taking swimming lessons it appears that SI are planning to do an underwater shoot next year"!
MH - "Gee, Anna I always thought you could do the breast stroke"!
Anna - Oh! Marti, you are such a tease, of course if the truth were known I did have my breasts stroked a few times"! Giggle giggle, titter titter!
The ambulance attendants arrive with a stretcher to pick up Venus..who manages to do a little pirouet and wave before being lifted unto the stretcher...all the girls clapped and wished her well as she was carried away!
MH spies Serena, "Sereena, I notice you have a zipper installed alongside your cast, interesting, what's that for"?
SW - Well, I have to attend fashion shows and appear at sit-coms so I need an easy access out of this damn leg cast'!
MH - "When will you be back playing"?
SW - "Hopefully at the French whenever my fleur de lis outfit is ready"!
MH - "I thought the French people didn't like you?"
SW - "Exactly, how does their national anthem go now the "Marseillaise"?
Justine is at a table eating a big bowl of spinach. Kim approaches her "Yuck, Justine, how can you eat that green slime"?
JHH - "Well, you have to do what you have to do to remain #1 and it worked for Popeye didn't it?"
Kim - "You should recommend it to Daniela H. if ever there was a living "Olive Oyl" its her!"
Mauresmo looks up from her massage table where her female trainer is "working" on her..."Oui, I intend to capture le championship this year, its time la Frenchwoman becomes a heroine"!!
"Oh! yeah! good luck", Jen yells out...."you're going to be the new Joan of Arc (covers face with towel as she snickers) "Vive la France"

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Last edited by barmaid; Feb 21st, 2004 at 05:00 PM.
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old Feb 21st, 2004, 06:49 PM
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im liking it
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old Feb 21st, 2004, 06:53 PM
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thats great
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old Feb 23rd, 2004, 08:36 AM
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Bravo!

Quote:
Originally Posted by barmaid
Mauresmo descends the locker room stairs with a female trainer in hot pursuit
"Sacre bleu", says Momo "what's with the ambulance outside with le lights flashing and le sirens blasting"? "Who is hurt now"?
Venus is in the corner applying some last touches to her glittery nail polish "Thats for me, Momo, I'll get my things together!"
Serena gives Vee a stare "What did you hurt now?"
Vee - "I have a hernia", it happened when I lifted my cosmetic bag (filled with 6 spray cans, 3 glue guns, 4 lbs. of glitter, 5 lbs. of sequins and 450 multi-colored knee bandages)

Serena sitting alongside Vee with her leg in a cast "Well, don't be long. I don't want to face that little lying bitch at RG alone, in fact I think I'll throw my match (if we meet) so you can meet that cheating Belgian witch!"
Jingle, jangle..Martina Hingis clomps down the stairs with her spurs jangling!!
"What the f--- are you doing with a riding outfit on"? asks Jen (who is receiving a massage for her back from a nubian slave)
MH - "Oh! I just finished a jumping competition, I placed first"!
Jen - "No, surprise there, jumping was always your best sport"!!
Martina shows her broadcasting mike WRFTDB (Women retired from tennis doing broadcasting) "Who wants to be interviewed first"?
Anna K. then appears in her SI bathing suit
MH - "Anna, why are you parading around in your bathing suit"?
Anna - "Hi Marti, I'm taking swimming lessons it appears that SI are planning to do an underwater shoot next year"!
MH - "Gee, Anna I always thought you could do the breast stroke"!
Anna - Oh! Marti, you are such a tease, of course if the truth were known I did have my breasts stroked a few times"! Giggle giggle, titter titter!
The ambulance attendants arrive with a stretcher to pick up Venus..who manages to do a little pirouet and wave before being lifted unto the stretcher...all the girls clapped and wished her well as she was carried away!
MH spies Serena, "Sereena, I notice you have a zipper installed alongside your cast, interesting, what's that for"?
SW - Well, I have to attend fashion shows and appear at sit-coms so I need an easy access out of this damn leg cast'!
MH - "When will you be back playing"?
SW - "Hopefully at the French whenever my fleur de lis outfit is ready"!
MH - "I thought the French people didn't like you?"
SW - "Exactly, how does their national anthem go now the "Marseillaise"?
Justine is at a table eating a big bowl of spinach. Kim approaches her "Yuck, Justine, how can you eat that green slime"?
JHH - "Well, you have to do what you have to do to remain #1 and it worked for Popeye didn't it?"
Kim - "You should recommend it to Daniela H. if ever there was a living "Olive Oyl" its her!"
Mauresmo looks up from her massage table where her female trainer is "working" on her..."Oui, I intend to capture le championship this year, its time la Frenchwoman becomes a heroine"!!
"Oh! yeah! good luck", Jen yells out...."you're going to be the new Joan of Arc (covers face with towel as she snickers) "Vive la France"

__________________________________________________ _____________
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old Feb 23rd, 2004, 08:43 AM
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Me: Oi Martinaaaaaaaa, stop stealin' my thunder. Everyone knows I carried you.

Martina: Yes Miss Shriver. You rule.

Me: You owe me.

Martina: I know Miss Shriver. I wouldn't be where I was if it wasn't for you sir. I tell you what, I'll have a word with the good people at the hall of fame and we'll get you in...

~Read Pam's Perspective: The Official PamProse Blog~
~I Loves My George but not that skanky Lazenby granddad~This game has gone to DOOSE~~I won the Olympic Gold~~The BEST commentator~~My vowels rulez the air~~ Ping-Pong Pam~~Style Guru: The Pamfro, Voted Hairstyle of the Yr 1983~~Click here to see my fantastic web site created by my adoring 'fan'
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