Strikethrough Theatre: Oz 2004 Edition - TennisForum.com

 
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post #1 of 15 (permalink) Old Feb 11th, 2004, 06:26 AM Thread Starter
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Strikethrough Theatre: Oz 2004 Edition

In answer to the requests of thousands (Joe Thousands, who owns the corner video store), Strikethrough Theatre makes its triumphant(?) return. Take your seats quickly, as the curtain is going up on

STRIKETHROUGH THEATRE™ : OZ 2004 EDITION

Well, the 2004 tennis season is underway, and, as usual, there are many questions to be answered. First, a tip of the hat to the 2004 Australian Open champion, Justine Henin-Hardenne. With each slam she wins, more and more fans are pissed off impressed by her tenacity. But how about the rest of the players? Who will finish the season at all #1? There figures to be a tough fight for every hospital bed ranking point.

With her showing "Down Under", Kim has demonstrated she can win everywhere but the slams. Amelie showed flashes of her old form by withdrawing from reaching the quarters. And we saw plenty of evidence that the linespeople could be replaced by Stevie Wonder, with no discernable change in effectiveness benefit from electronic assistance.

Many other players will be looking to make their mark in 2004. Can Lindsay continue the recent form that saw her lose to everyone seeded above her capture the title in Tokyo? Will Anastasia get more recognition for what she does with her clothes on on court every week? Will Elena have a serve that actually goes back in time big result in a slam? Will Ai continue to be virtually ignored by the writers post good results? Can rising young star Maria Sharapova make some noise at Wimbledon by becoming "Persona Non Grunta" with the AEC going deep in the draw?

And what about our "wounded warriors"? Can Serena find her way back to the court top? And many forget that it was just a couple of years ago that Venus paved the way for Janet Jackson her little sister.

Will Jen be able to get back on coarse course for slam contention when she returns? And speaking of returns, a successful one will be important for Chanda, as she has yet to injure her left pinkie fulfill her potential. And speaking of unfulfilled potential, when will Anna Kournikova return? Anna is regarded as something of a trailblazer, as she is largely credited with starting a trend that is now considered commonplace: the combination of Russians and poor serves glamour and tennis.

These and many more questions will only be answered as the year unfolds. And we, the tennis fans, will be there every step of the way, hoping our faves have a "wardrobe malfunction" good season.
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post #2 of 15 (permalink) Old Feb 11th, 2004, 06:33 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brian Stewart
In answer to the requests of thousands (Joe Thousands, who owns the corner video store), Strikethrough Theatre makes its triumphant(?) return. Take your seats quickly, as the curtain is going up on

STRIKETHROUGH THEATRE??™ : OZ 2004 EDITION

Well, the 2004 tennis season is underway, and, as usual, there are many questions to be answered. First, a tip of the hat to the 2004 Australian Open champion, Justine Henin-Hardenne. With each slam she wins, more and more fans are pissed off impressed by her tenacity. But how about the rest of the players? Who will finish the season at all #1? There figures to be a tough fight for every hospital bed ranking point.

With her showing "Down Under", Kim has demonstrated she can win everywhere but the slams. Amelie showed flashes of her old form by withdrawing from reaching the quarters. And we saw plenty of evidence that the linespeople could be replaced by Stevie Wonder, with no discernable change in effectiveness benefit from electronic assistance.

Many other players will be looking to make their mark in 2004. Can Lindsay continue the recent form that saw her lose to everyone seeded above her capture the title in Tokyo? Will Anastasia get more recognition for what she does with her clothes on on court every week? Will Elena have a serve that actually goes back in time big result in a slam? Will Ai continue to be virtually ignored by the writers post good results? Can rising young star Maria Sharapova make some noise at Wimbledon by becoming "Persona Non Grunta" with the AEC going deep in the draw?

And what about our "wounded warriors"? Can Serena find her way back to the court top? And many forget that it was just a couple of years ago that Venus paved the way for Janet Jackson her little sister.

Will Jen be able to get back on coarse course for slam contention when she returns? And speaking of returns, a successful one will be important for Chanda, as she has yet to injure her left pinkie fulfill her potential. And speaking of unfulfilled potential, when will Anna Kournikova return? Anna is regarded as something of a trailblazer, as she is largely credited with starting a trend that is now considered commonplace: the combination of Russians and poor serves glamour and tennis.

These and many more questions will only be answered as the year unfolds. And we, the tennis fans, will be there every step of the way, hoping our faves have a "wardrobe malfunction" good season.


Enjoyed this. Thanks.
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post #3 of 15 (permalink) Old Feb 11th, 2004, 09:29 AM
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post #4 of 15 (permalink) Old Feb 11th, 2004, 09:47 AM
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lol great post

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post #5 of 15 (permalink) Old Feb 11th, 2004, 10:21 AM
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I love it.




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post #6 of 15 (permalink) Old Feb 11th, 2004, 10:24 AM
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Great post! Very funny.

Well, I walk into the room
Passing out hundred dollar bills
And it kills and it thrills like the horns on my Silverado grill
And I buy the bar a double round of crown
And everybody's getting down
And this town ain't never gonna be the same.
Cause I saddle up my horse and I ride into the city
I make a lot of noise
Cause the girls, they are so pretty...

All
ez Amélie!

"My coach told me I had to expect, you know, some long rallies and stuff. So, you know, I was ready for this."
--Amelie Mauresmo breaking down the intricate nature of Team Mauresmo coaching strategies.
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post #7 of 15 (permalink) Old Feb 11th, 2004, 07:17 PM
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Bump

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brian Stewart
There figures to be a tough fight for every hospital bed ranking point.
......... but true

Thanks, Brian!

[LEFT][center][COLOR=Red][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=1][SIZE=2][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=1][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=5]AMÉLIE[/SIZE][/FONT] [/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/COLOR][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=1][COLOR=Red]ALWAYS[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/center]
[/LEFT]
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post #8 of 15 (permalink) Old Feb 11th, 2004, 09:27 PM
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post #9 of 15 (permalink) Old Feb 11th, 2004, 10:31 PM
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Great Post
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post #10 of 15 (permalink) Old Feb 11th, 2004, 10:34 PM
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great
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post #11 of 15 (permalink) Old Feb 12th, 2004, 12:12 AM
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Quote:
And we saw plenty of evidence that the linespeople could be replaced by Stevie Wonder, with no discernable change in effectiveness benefit from electronic assistance.
Oooh, even worked in a Stevie Wonder joke!

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post #12 of 15 (permalink) Old Feb 12th, 2004, 12:20 AM
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How do we get back editions of "strikethrough theater"? Was there one for
the WTA championships or the US OPEN or RG? These pieces are hilarious.
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post #13 of 15 (permalink) Old Feb 12th, 2004, 03:25 AM
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Great to see Amelie finally getting her old form back
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post #14 of 15 (permalink) Old Feb 12th, 2004, 04:25 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Greenout
How do we get back editions of "strikethrough theater"? Was there one for
the WTA championships or the US OPEN or RG? These pieces are hilarious.
I didn't do one for the YEC or USO. It's been a while since I've done one. If anyone's saved any, that would be the best bet. All I have is some notations for each one, and in some cases I marked what order I put the quips in. It's all put together on the fly, with a few comments added in at the last moment. If I find any of the old notes, I could probably make a reasonable approximation.
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post #15 of 15 (permalink) Old Feb 12th, 2004, 04:28 AM
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That's the first fresh Janet Jackson joke since the Monday after the Super Bowl.

I am on der Tvitter, accumulating haters. https://twitter.com/Hurleytennis
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