Frequently Asked Questions
Q1. MH0861, do you have a life? Will you be giving us updates every 10 minutes?
A1: Sadly, I do have a life. Even worse, I have a job. With my good looks, I don't really have to work, but I like to give back. But that means I can't sit around all day waiting for and posting results like some of our
err friends with exceed leisure time at their disposal.
Results/Updates will be posted in the evening EST time.
Q2. DOUBLES!!11 WHERE IS THE DOUBLES UPDATE11~
A2. See above.
Q3. WHERE IS THE ORDER OF PLAY I NEED TO GO IN 5 AND TWO-THIRDS MINUTES I REALLY NEED TO KNOW
A3. While I have many skills and abilities, creating Order of Plays out of thin air unfortunately is not one of them. If that were the case, well, the Wimbledon '05 final would have been Lindsay Davenport vs. Camille Pin OMG OKAY LET'S NOT EVEN GO THERE I AM GOING TO CRY. But yes. If you can't wait for the OOP, please just send scores for every possible match and I'll go through that for you.
Q4. Sometimes I forget what order A, B and C go in. May I commit my doubles team in non-alphabetical order?
A4. Sadly, that is frowned upon. Please ask a friend, neighbor, parent, preacher, mentor or life coach to assist you in committing your doubles team if you fear you cannot do it in alphabetical order.
Q5. Is "Lindsay Davenport loses to Ana Ivanovic 5-7 6-3 6-1" or "Lindsay Davenport comes really close but does not defeat Ana Ivanovic 7-5 3-6 1-6" an acceptable way to send my tips in PM?"
A5. Absolutely not. Tipping against Lindsay is against the law. In fact, such behavior may lead to public ridicule in front of your friends and fellow tippers. Please limit your PMs to WINNER'S LAST NAME ONLY AND A TB SCORE/SET RATIO IF NECESSARY. NOTHING ELSE! AND TIP LINDS! SHE NEEDS GOOD VIBES PEOPLE!
Q6. Will Suicide Tennis Tipping make a comeback for Indian Wells?
Remember this is an optional side game and you don't have to play.
Aleksz is our two-time champion!
Q7. I heard Tennis Tipping is giving out prize money now. I am a working parent trying to make ends meet. What can you give me?
A7. Sorry, I don't have to buy participation in my tournaments. Please play for free or see your silly ass replaced by one of your fellow competitors faster than you can say Akgul Aman! A man! A man he ha ha man-muradova.
Q8. I'd like to donate my time to a worthy cause at Indian Wells. What can you suggest?
A8. Funny you should mention it! This tournament is the official sponsor of "The Whale wants the Whale" - helping Lindsay Davenport get the whale trophy for herself. Your kind donations of positivity are appreciated.